Life is to be lived with purpose. Fulfillment of that purpose requires strategy. The strategy I'm using is an Art. The Art of War.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Walkable

We've been giving great thought to our planned move to the Bay Area.

I've grown to love our L.A. neighborhood. It's walkable. There is a lovely park in the middle of our little area, and each day kids can be seen playing in the sand area, couples and families have picnics and elderly people sit out and relax. TR and I were there on last Friday and saw a group of kids on a play date. I enjoy living in an area where people take their kids out and where the people mingle with their neighbors.


Lots of our neighbors walk their dogs and/or their kids so you get a chance to meet everyone. Mr A misplaced the car key last week. We were about to have the car towed to the dealership and pay ~$200 for a new key. Our neighbor saw Mr A and asked him if he had lost his key. Turns out if anything in the neighborhood is lost, people bring it to her. Who knew Mayberry existed smack in the middle of Los Angeles?

In the other direction of home, is a cute village with many banks, sidewalk cafes, boutique shopping, drug store and other cute shops. There is also the Sunday Farmers Market. Just this past weekend we put TR in her stroller, had a nice walk to the village, handled a few errands and had lunch at a Japanese restaurant. Then we walked home. We don't have a grocery store in reasonable walking distance- although I have walked there- if we did, I don't know if I'd be willing to leave our area.

I've been trying to envision the Oakland areas that have the same/similiar access. I've also been pondering Berkeley. Mr A likes Berkeley. San Francisco is too cold and foggy for me to consider although some of the neighborhoods are very cute.


We're not suburb types so we don't want to live outside city limits. Plus if we were going to live distant from Oakland, we'd just stay in Los Angeles.

The list of what I want in a neighborhood is increasing. We plan to send our children to private school, so we can move without regard to area schools.

We made a good decision with our current residence. We prayed over it and we've been blessed in the location. It's difficult to make the move when where we are is so nice. I just want to remain in an area where life can be enjoyed on foot. I really appreciate how nice life can be when neighbors get out of their cars and become a part of their neighborhood. It's easier to go on a walk when you can walk to a destination and then back home.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Old Wives Tales

My mother told me a few months ago that if TR was sleepy but wouldn't go to sleep I should just put my hand over her eyes and she'd fall asleep. I thought she was joking.

Yesterday, I was tired, TR was tired but she wouldn't go to sleep. I put my hand over her eyes and noticed each time I did it, her eyes stayed shut longer and longer. I called my mom and told her, but explained that whenever I moved my hand TR would eventually reopen her eyes. My mom said to leave my hand for a couple of minutes. I did it, saw TR's breathing get deep and even and she was asleep.

Amazing. I'll have to listen to my mother more often.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A must read!!!

http://leishacamden.blogspot.com/2008/10/not-that-it-matters.html

A wonderful story of helping a stranger with a wonderful and timely ending.

Read and share!

4 Falls of Love

Mr A and I began our affair of love 4 years ago in autumn. We met winter of 2004, chatted on the phone through the summer of 2004, met up a few times at the end of summer earl by October 2004 we were a couple.

I still remember 'the talk'. I remember how my heart beat so fast and how nervous but excited I was. I remember going shopping with my cousin and buying him a baby blue sweater. I bought it because I was thinking of him and he didn't own any pastel colors.

I remember taking the train to see him and him taking the train to see me. I remember going to the grocery store to prepare for his visit. I remember the feelings I was experiencing.

I asked Mr A if he remembers our first fall together. His answer was no. Fret not, I didn't hurt him. He usually does well when I ask him if he remembers firsts. He was up and out at 5 a.m. this morning, so perhaps he was tired.

Time flies so fast. In a few months we will have known each other 5 years. We've been a couple for 4 years, and married a little over two. It is really amazing how quickly time passes. Soon (just a few years) we'll be taking TR to her bilingual preschool. Soon we'll be 40 with elementary age children. We'll be 50 with college aged children. Goodness gracious, time waits on no one.

I think gymboree is for parents who spend 0 time with their child. I don't think I can attend or pay to attend a class and pay to sing songs and touch my baby's body parts. We do that every day. I think the part with the play area looked nice. That's for babies that are walking. Currently we have mommy and baby yoga and daddies too. I might give the music class another shot. Next up..... baby sign language. My mother laughed at me today, when I told her we were on our way to gymboree.

I did find a beautiful Christmas dress for TR and a few hats, one a paperboy hat. I love those. My mom plans to take TR to San Francisco at Christmas time. The hat will come in handy in the freezing city. They are going to browse Saks and see the tree at Neimans. It seems that TR will be reliving my childhood Christmases.

How the Rich Live

Ivanka Trump was on Morning Joe this a.m.

She said there is a palpable fear amongst people at this time of global economic crisis. She spoke of people she knew who made millions each year and how they were having family meetings on how they were going to cut back and make different decisions. I hear middle class folks feeling confident about their plantations ability to withstand and their feelings of job security and savings.

My grandmother was alive during the depression, she said they were using dollar bills as wall paper because they were worthless. Banks failed, money in those banks was lost. The govt doesn't have funds to insure all the money in banks. They can create more paper but it will be worthless. My grandmother and her parents were blessed to own their land and home and have farms and food to eat.

Middle class people do not seem to realize they are poor and that middle class is just a term to make people feel better. Middle class people are soooo drinking the kool-aid. It's the middle that keep the rich wealthy and the poor operating.

The wealthy work forever because they love what they do. Middle class work until they can afford to stop. The poor- I'm not sure what they do.

I was having this discussion with my mother yesterday. I was telling her people can't live on SSI anymore. She informed me that my statement is sort of true, sort of false.

If SSI is all a person has to live on, they can go rent a $2000 house and only pay 30% of their income, then they can get reduced rates on necessary services like phone and utilities. She helped one of her cousins get a home phone (he owns his home w/o mortgage because his mother paid for it, his mother died and now my mom helps him) and he only has to pay $5 per month.

If I die an old woman and die middle class, I believe I will have lived far beneath my potential and failed. I have no desire to achieve wealth for the perks, I just don't want to live my life in the trap of middle class. I want to win at this game called life. I also want my children to know they can go beyond being middle- if they so desire. I know I don't need to be rich and I'm not trying to buy anything, but the achievement of some real wealth is a goal of mine. Its sorta like people who want to climb a high mountain, they just want the satisfaction of acheiving a goal that takes discipline to meet.

Monday, October 20, 2008

My Reality

Am I correct in thinking a blog is similiar to being cast on a reality t.v. show? Bloggers show parts of their lives, either all of it or selected parts. In the past I wasn't too much of a reality fan, but reality t.v. is sucking me in.

I'm a fan of Real Housewives of Atlanta and I'm amazed at the vitriolic criticism these women are garnering. My goodness.....its totally amazing.

I hope they don't care. I don't think they make Atlanta (suburbs) look bad or women or women of color. If people think the any group of people are homogenous, then may the live happily in their vacuum. Do people watch Hills and think the show represents all young white folks? Black people never get a chance to just be. Someone always wants to be represented.

I wish Deshawn would open her mouth when she speaks. It is painful to watch her speak. I wonder if she has veneers and isn't comfortable with them.

I'm a fan of the Rachel Zoe Project. I remember her from the days she was accused of turning Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan into anorexics. I know she styled them into recognition.

I think The Hills is losing me. The show seems to have flatlined and until something different occurs I can't make myself watch.

I'm still watching The Game and that seems to have bitten the shark as well. I'll be glad when Tudors starts again.

The Game is just a horrible representation of Black athletes. One is a momma's boy, one has a white wife, the other one has become a 'baby daddy'. While I don't know any momma boy athletes I am very familiar with the other two. Are they making Ms. Brock Akil do this? This is the same madness that happened to Moesha.

I know I'd be crushed if the man I loved had a baby out there. I think I'm greedy and I'm just realizing this. I want 100% of my husband. I want us to exist in our own universe. I think it would be extremely difficult if there were pieces of him walking the earth, pieces that I had no part in creating. That would be like having a ladder up to out planet, instead of us just floating as we please.

The plan for Tuesday is Gymboree. The family is going to check out the 0-6 month class and see what its about. At the Baby Citizen of the World Class, one of the babies kept screaming. TR must have liked the noise because she's been blessing us with high pitched screams at various points throughout the day. When she does it, I call my mother and let her listen. My mother laughs and screams back.

I can't wait to go back to the Bay. We're spending a month up there and I plan to pull out pots, pans and wooden spoons, place TR in the kitchen with my mom and let them have fun.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Indian Summer

I don't know if it's an Indian Summer or global warming but today was hot. When I saw the weather report, I knew we needed to make it to the park before the heat of the day destroyed our plans and forced us to take shelter indoors.

TR and I made our first trip into the sand and got on a swing. Around noon the park was full of babies, they were sitting on blankets and crawling in the grass. Mr A joined us with picnic food and our lawn mats. He laid them out under a tree, we put TR down and she crawled around.

I love picnics and I realized this was TR's very first real picnic. We went to one Sunday but since we sat at tables and got our food from caterers, I don't think it counts. A picnic must contain laying out on the grass and food to qualify as picnic.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Fire

My only t.v. viewing options are cable and the fire watch on local stations. I've missed my normal programming for 2 days. We didn't make it to the park yesterday because TR was napping during that hour. Mr A had a meeting in the morning, practice in the afternoon and a late meeting, so TR and I spent the day in bed.

Mr A is home today so we will all be getting into traffic. One of the fires is in an area called Porter Ranch. Mr A used to work out that way and I toured some of the model homes there. The models were fab-looking. They were the large cheaply built ticky tacky look alike boxes(circa Weeds theme song) on tiny lots. At the time I was looking, the homes were in the high $700ks. I was just looking to pass time because I was visiting him at work and he was in a meeting.

There is a PBS special I'm trying to catch. It's called "Driven to Despair." It's supposed to discuss how the exodus to the surburbs and exurbs, coupled with increase in gas costs fueled the mortgage meltdown. I did my conspiracy post on such a topic over a year ago. My sister's professor told her class in the 90's about the great surburb exodus and then a rise in gas prices which would have folks trapped and the cities would once again become the area of choice. The suburbanites would then have challenges getting to the city even for work.

I guess he couldn't predict easy credit and folks walking away from homes.

Mr A I and didn't buy a new home after we married because we planned to move to the bay area. 2006 was the peak of real estate and while some folks were still hollering 'buy' we expected a decrease in price. We didn't expect all of this but watching some of these fire sales makes us even more pleased that we decided to move slow and figure out what we liked and where we wanted to live.

That decision also allowed Mr A to start a business. We were watching the news today and saw that one of the corporations he used to work for will be having layoffs. The other corporation he worked for underwent major changes a bit after he left. I'm sure it is stressful to wonder if your location will be impacted.

We've really been blessed with how things have been timed for us. We were blessed even in where we chose to live. We had no idea we were so centrally located and on fantastic public transit routes. We moved here while Mr A was at his old job and making a salary that was high for Los Angeles, plus bonuses that were the amount of some folks yearly salary. Of course much was eaten up in taxes so I knew we could live on far less. God has really blessed, kept and made provisions for us. While I realize these are tough economic times, my faith is not (and never has been) placed in my husbands or my great careers and earning capacity. It is not in us having multiple incomes. I know God is the one who made it possible for us to have regular business and regular income. I know He blesses our clients so they can bless us.

I'm not worried but my lack of worry has nothing to do with my confidence and reliance on our strengths but in the power and control of God. I really can't understand folks who get so confident in their own power and decision making. It is grace that allows people to be well enough to work, so how does one take confidence in income from a job?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Diary of a Mommy

First check out this site. Daddy Diaries, I'll wait. Tell your friends there is a site for first time fathers. Most resources are targetted to first time mothers but daddies are curious too.

Time flies so fast. The three of us are in bed. TR is kicking around, smiling, looking and doing baby things. Last year this time she was my passenger and only two folks were in this bed. Even then she was adding joy and excitment through anticipation. Now its joy and excitement through her presence.

Last March I blogged about going to a bar-b-cue where the host had a 2 month old, another woman was a few months pregnant and I was barely showing. A few weeks ago much of this group got together again, for a kids birthday party. The 2 month old is now 8 months, she and TR sat on the floor together and she nearly toppled on TR. The other baby was a few weeks old. It was slightly amazing to me.

On Friday TR and I went to a music class for infants. It's called World Citizen Baby. The babies sang songs in Spanish, Portuguese, Swahilli, played instruments and basically laughed and screamed at their mommies who sang songs and danced their babies around the room. One woman even brought her nanny. Must be nice. Most of the women appeared to be in their late 30's, early 40's. That made me ponder what I was doing in that mix, maybe I need to go to gymboree.

TR and I have been walking to the park around the same time everyday. We purposely go at the same time because the same kids are there with their nannies. The nannies speak Spanish/Spanglish to TR and their charges, so I figure she can watch the kids play and pick up the basics of a second language.

On Saturday TR had a photo shoot. The lady brought such pretty props. It was lots of fun and I'm looking forward to the prints.

She'll finish the shoot in a couple of weeks and Mr A and I will take photos with her.

That is all.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Rain Rain Come Again

It rained this Saturday, it was lovely. I appreciate a rainy day, it creates a vibe I could describe but won't.

I had a very nice weekend. On Friday Mr A, TR and I went to Pacific Palisdades. I wrapped TR in a nice heavy cotton baby blanket and she slept almost from the time we got to the game until the time we got home. It was a quite cool out but she was toasty warm.

I think that was her first trip to the beach.

One of my sorors from my Bay Area chapter moved to L.A., so we visited a chapter and had a great time. We'll probably affiliate with that chapter. I also met another Soror who also moved down here from the Bay Area. She and her husband recently bought in Baldwin Hills and when they first moved to L.A. they lived in the area we live in. I thought that was pretty cool. Like-minded women.

I was gone @6 hours on Saturday and I don't think I've been away from TR that long since she came home. As a result of our 6 hour seperation one of my boobs was so heavy with milk that I thought I'd scream. My sweet little baby is better than any breast pump. She drained that milk. Mr A had fed her while I was gone but she seemed to want exactly what I had.

This actually happened before. When she was first born I had to pump. The first time I pumped I only got a few cc's/ml. The doctors measured her belly to determine how much milk she needed. The amount I had produced was the exact amount they had measured her to need. I was so happy!

It's amazing how God built a baby and a mommy. My production relaxes at night, I guess because she mostly sleeps through the night. Six hours in the night does not have the same result. But 6 hours in the middle of the day had a drastically different result. I guess TR and I are in sync.

On Sunday our intent was to hit the 8 a.m. service. We were up late Saturday and didn't get up as early as we wanted. As a result we went to West A so as not to miss the message. West A isn't our first choice so we'll have to be sure to do better.

Mr A's friend had gone ocean fishing and caught lots of tuna. I think Mahi. His friend and his girlfriend came by so Mr A could grill the tuna. His friend has a baby grill and Mr A has a man station and while Mr A can work miracles with the grill, he can work great works with a good grill.

The tuna was great. I got to hang out with my friend and Mr A got to hang out with his childhood bestfriend. TR had fun hanging with and talking to the adults and watching football.

I'm looking forward to putting up October decorations. Having a child in the house just makes life so festive.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Chuckle Chuckle Chuckle



McCain lost on stage With Music

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

What I'm Wearing Today

I was up at 2 a.m. and decided to shower. I missed showering yesterday. Mr A has been at a training from 8 to 5, and its been just TR and me at home this week.

It's only Wednesday and I'm grateful Mr A works from home. I'm sure I could do this everyday but I'm grateful we are doing this together.

Laat night, he came home, got the car and headed out to get gas and a hair cut. I was passed out when he got home. Sure I could have gotten gas while he was gone, but I'm turning into one of those women. You know..... the ones who don't get their own fuel, and can't work the remote control like my 83 year old aunt. She's been married 60+ years and has never pumped gas. She doesn't even know how. Her husband gets her car, fills it up and returns it. He pays for her gas as well. I know some men (not Mr A) who require their wife to pay for her own gas, labelling it as her expense.

I disagree with that especially if she uses gas to buy groceries. Some men want to be head of household, but want to share expenses. If I made TR pay bills, she'd be justified in telling me since she supports herself financially or chips in, I am limited in what I can tell her. I'd of course warm a switch up and work on her tail, but she'd be reasonable to think what she said.

Anyway, I woke up the 2nd time around 6 a.m and put on workout shorts and a white t-shirt. TR had carrots for an early lunch and since she has picked up the habit of touching the spoon as it head towards her mouth, I'm wearing carrots. I could have changed but then when she spit up milk on me a couple of hours later I would have hsd to change again. I look like baby food smeared housewife.

TR is generous. When she's eating she'll put her hand in her mouth and then put it in my mouth. I don't know how to tell her that I appreciate her gesture of giving but am not a fan of baby food and certainly not baby food she's already eaten on.

My mother was feeding her and I looked at my mother and knew exactly what TR ate. My mother had dried apple sauce on her forehead. I just recently began feeing her by spoon, Mr A. had held that task. He is amazing. When he feeds her she doesn't need a bib or cloth. Everything ends up in her mouth. They have ettiquette conversations so perhaps that's why she dines very neatly with him.

In other things, I think she can read. She moves her eyes in the correct direction when I'm reading. She can also swim. We were in the bath last weeks and she arched her body into back float position, relaxed and proceeded to float, as I held her.

I later noticed her doing the doggy paddle. Mr A is a great swimmer, he's even trained in survival swimming and he'll give her formal instruction a little later. Maybe next summer.

I may be exaggerating on the reading but everything else is exactly as it has happened.