SOCIAL HANDICAP

Those people who you just can't stand and who everyone else you know can't stand either.Many of us have met people that don't like us and whom we don't like for whatever reason or for no reason at all, I'm speaking of people who kill the comfort of a crowd. They may have other attributes like intelligence but were not blessed and never developed social graces.

Social handicap crosses gender lines, I've met a couple dudes I just couldn't stand and who seemed to make the room annoyed by their presence. I've only met one chick who has this handicap. I'm somewhat indifferent towards her for the most part but I get a kick from watching how strangers respond to her. It's not so much the attitude she has, but the actual words that come from her mouth. Always critical, seeking attention, trying to portray an image of class, quality and means and being one of the cheapest people, with no idea of quality you'd never wanna meet.

At social functions strangers from various regions of the country insult her, mostly men, women just hurry and move away. The funny thing is she thinks she doesn't like women and that women are too trifling for her to mingle with. It's actually the women who dread being in her prescence. But don't get it twisted she insults folks to their face, seeming to be oblivous of what she is saying. She looks at the guys in the club and negatively critiques them from head to toe. So when the odd guy takes out the time to break her down, everyone in earshot brims with glee.

A couple friends have analyzed critical chick and have come to the conclusion that she was probably unattractive and very unpopular during her formative years and now subconsciously has to get attention of any kind. No one has come up with any explanations as to why she's so mean and critical. Maybe it's because she doesn't like anyone, which she doesn't appear to.

Someone out there may think this blog is about them, but as the singer lady says "you're so vain, you probably think this song is about you." If you pay me 10k I'll cook you dinner and let you know who critical chick is.

Shout Out to My Girls

To my girlfriends (cousins included) thanks for being my friend and girl.

The older I get the more I realize that I am blessed to have girlfriends. If I want to shop at Target or any other store they'll be available and they'll look at the same things I'm looking at. We both say "uohou" at the same time over something really cute. They help me choose dishware, furniture, holiday cards, shoes (shoe shopping is much more fun with a girlfriend), razors, makeup, deodarant, underwear, and make knowlegable assessments when I want to buy a cute pair of underwear that I know won't fit. Anything that a girl at heart coo's over, we coo together.

If I feel wronged by a guy they are there to encourage me. They help pick me up and listen to me whine. They are available to go to the gym, dinner, movies, and just hang out.

If I'm having some strange physical occurence they will tell a story about themself or someone they know who had the same thing happen and the conclusion of that thing.

Ladies get a hard time sometimes and mostly by other women, but for me, my girlfriends have shared in some of the best experiences of my life. I've never been without them and I hope I always have them. When I reflect upon my most fun college days, they were events with the girls. Did someone say "to have a friend you have to be a friend" or did I make that up?

My girls are not trifling, they are not bitches, they are not jealous, they are not selfish and they accept me and love me even when I may portray some of those previously listed failings. They are there to give a hug and support, and emotions more useful then the logical advice a man always wants to provide.

Perhaps its from having a sister and lots of girl cousins but I've always preferred the company and conversation of my girls over the company and conversation of the guys. I trust that the things my girls tell me aren't from jealously nor because they are hating on me.

I'm realizing that I have developed strong female relationships. Although one of my oldest and best friends is a guy, (hopefully) soon he will get a wife and the terms of our friendship will have to change. I think it would be selfish of me to want things any other way. In fact it happened during his last serious relationship. But although we are great friends, its not as special and intimate as that between me and my girls. I don't need pretense with the ladies.

I'm looking forward to my bachleorette party, so the girls and I can have fun and be silly. But we will not have a stripper. Whoever is in on the planning, do not bring a stripper to my thang. Girls only.

Now that I have a great boyfriend, I'm even more grateful for the girls. When he sends me a poem, they will sigh with me, and when they see me smile when I talk to him, they are there to say "I like him" and make me remember to appreciate him all the more. Plus when he wants to hang out with the guys (as he did this weekend, when I wanted some of his time- yeah Mr. Man I'm talking about you) my girl/cousin Aaliyah talked to me on the phone, listened to me vent and helped me get my mind off my annoyance).

Can you beat having a true girlfriend?

Experience with God

I've been thinking about my relationship with God recently. I realized that I had lost my connection to God and allowed myself to become distant from him. My relationship with my guy made me consider this. I think the God in me was hidden and I don't think God can be hidden if he is truly in you. So based on some discussion and conflict with my guy I had to reevaluate exactly what God meant to me and how I was serving and honoring him.

I think I had been subconsciously ignoring God and his direction for my life. So although religion has caused some conflict in my relationship, my relationship has brought me an awareness of what I should be doing.

So on to my experience with God
Last night I woke up (although I don't know if I even went to sleep) and couldn't seem to get back to sleep, I wasn't feeling at peace. It was a hard to explain feeling that something was missing. A couple days ago I said a quick prayer that the Lord would help me get back to him. I think my heart had hardened toward God and I had lost conscience about doing things that normally would have been unthinkable to me. Nothing huge but I'm sure most people start small and progress.

Anyway I think the Lord was dealing with me during my attempt at sleep and not allowing me rest. As I laid there and figured out what I could do to tire myself, I thought about working, counting, making a phone call, anything, then I asked God to enter and fill the emptiness I felt. I soon felt a completeness like I had not felt in a long while. I felt like the Lord had heard me and worked on me. And the good feeling, the feeling of knowing is back in my life. I thank the boyfriend for making me realize that I needed to reconnect.

The Family

My boyfriend met the family and JOY we are still together. They weren't as bad as I had feared. They actually weren't bad at all. He may not agree, but I know these people and they were well behaved. There were a couple questionable instances but because I know these people I know they were small events. He doesn't know them so he may feel differently.
But based upon how things went this weeeknd I know things will improve and I might actually have a happy and working situtation.
I haven't gotten any critiques, or complaints about my guy from the family, so I can breathe a deep sigh of relief.
I think most of my guys problems this weekend arose because of the rules I enforced upon him. Like "don't touch me" if my family is anywhere near. He's a very affectionate man so this created some stress.
But it was a great weekend spent with my guy.