Street Life

My mother and I were on our way to a 3 p.m. Sunday church service. She was the musican for one of the guest choirs. So we arrived about 3:30. The church is in a high crime part of town. But it's Sunday afternoon and most violence tends to occur at night.

We parked our car, got out and proceeded toward the church. All of a sudden there is a *!?*! crash. We look and notice a car accident, a woman is sitting in the car that got hit. She wasn't doing too much moving, but visually the accident wasn't that bad. I can't remember what happened to the car that hit the woman, but perhaps he was also stalled.

So my mother hurries over to the car. I quickly survey the situation and advise her not to go. She looks at me like I'm crazy and says, "this woman may need help. I want to make sure none of these guys steal her purse." So she saw the guys and thought thief, I saw the guys and got another feeling. I walked slowly in the opposite direction and yelled for her to come on.

As soon as she got to the car, this big ni**a, swerves and jumps out of his car and starts yelling at another guy that is standing around. I'm thinking the guy that just pulled up must be the son of the woman that got hit and wants to fight the guy that caused the accident.

So when I saw this guy swerve and make that ghetto stop, I began to run and made one last yell for my mother to come on. At the point I began to run about 30 feet seperate me from my mother.

The guy he is after is running right behind me. I never looked around but I knew the guy that was doing the chasing had a large gun. Don't ask me how I knew, but probably from the way the crowd around him took off when he jumped out the car.
But I could almost feel the gun shots hitting me. (although no shots were fired) I was praying the guy he was after would cross the street, so I wouldn't get caught in the cross fire.

When the gunman had got out his car, the person who got the best look at his gun was my mother. She said it was huge. If you ask her she'll describe it for you.

So when my mother saw the gun she also took off running. Now recall I said when I started running she was about 30 feet distant from me? Well she ran past the guy with the gun,past the guy he was chasing and past me.

When we got to the church lot, the kids at the church who happened to see the whole thing said "Sis Bonnie, we didn't know you could run like that."

So I turned into the church lot barefoot. I had run out of my clogs.

So my mother told me to go inside and call the police. All I could do was collapse when I got inside. I called them but I could barely speak.

The pastor went out and got my shoes and brought them to me as I laid on the floor of the church office. I was on the floor because I imagined gunfire whizzing past my head.

When I saw my mother again, I told her, "I told you not to go over there." I also told her that she should have went the way everyone else ran, instead of running with the gunman.

But for about 3 weeks before this incident my mother had had a kink in her back that wouldn't go away. She could barely wear heels. As a matter of fact on that very day she was walking tender like because the pain of the kink. But since the day of the run, which is over 5 years ago, she hasn't had that problem with her back again.

The battle is not yours. That simple statement says so much. Once we stop fighting our own battles things get so much better. I mean there are some things that you can handle on you own, but there is so much other stuff that lacks any impact and just serves to upset us. So why battle? Usually when the battle is done, we don’t feel any better, we just have a story about how petty we behaved.

I’m trying not to let the inconsequential things upset me because 1.) that’s what the other person wants, or 2). that’s not what they want and they are just socially inept and mean no harm. or 3). they just have an mean personality. In either situation getting upset is foolish and perhaps harmful.

Momentarily things may still get me, perhaps that’s just my nature but once I think about it, I realize, “it ain’t that serious.”

Once I was in a deposition and my client got crazy with the opposing counsel. That woman got black. I had to ask for a break. The counsel took me outside and said “Nicole, you better talk to your client because if he wants to go there I will take it there. I don’t know how you deal with that man.”

I’m thinking, “your client is probably paying you $250+ an hour, let him act stupid.”

So I take my client outside and tell him to behave. He was giddy almost skipping. The fact that he was able to upset her, put him on a super high. After that he kept telling me that she couldn’t handle him.

Another work story is a white lawyer that practically cursed me out, outside of court. This was my first solo lawsuit and I was making multiple motions that required him to do extra work on short notice. For one of the motions, we were in the clerks office and he said “I had to stay up all night and spend my weekend responding to this crap, I don’t appreciate all the time I have to spend for this sh*t.” He said a whole lot more but I can’t recall the details.

I said “Don’t they pay you over at "High-Brow" law firm? What are you whining about, I’m helping your firm get billables.” (his client was an insurance company. If my client is an insurance company, please drag that thing out at make it last forever)

He replied “oh they pay me very well, but I bet you aren’t getting paid.” I just looked at him. I wasn’t getting paid, but I didn’t share that with him. I was representing the plaintiff on a contingency basis.

Anyway I realized that the man was stressed out so I kept giving him motions, and yes the settlement happened shortly thereafter. I did however bring my father to court each time after that, I felt the need for a male presence just in case the man went postal. But I didn’t let him know I was fearful of bodily harm or that I was totally shocked by his tone and comments.

Never let them see you sweat, in fact don’t sweat. It ain’t that serious.

Answered Prayer

I didn't hear myself pray
But I guess he really does know the heart
An inner yearning so deep and suppressed even to the one in need

The prayer was answered
Without my assistance
Without my interference

Some things I have been given the strength to do
Every thing else I have turned over
I didn't realize I had turned this over

I knew I had let it go
He gave it back in a way better than my understanding
Positivity and love has been my gift

A gift greater than any I could have requested
or known to request
It's amazing what he'll do if we let him
I finally know what that means

Note to Self

Are you tripping off the trivial sh*t?
Come on now how long does that crap last?
Were you briefly offended?
What the ****?
Move the **** on.

If you think about it, it's amusing
Laugh and I bet you'll catch on
The humour is.....it's silly
And if has no effect on your soul

They could even steal you life
But didn't you say you believed in God?
That's not the end
It only sped up the inevitable

It's unfortunate that you were mometarily caught off guard
But now you are on your guard
Knowledge is your power

The world isn't a horrible place
It's the place you let it be
If the joy is yours no one can steal it
No one can erase that inside smile

Mere words can be piercing
but don't let them harden your shell
Stay soft, someone needs it

Don't let the past control your present nor future
If you do, the person who did this to you wins
Do you really want such trifling behavior to change who you are?
Can you handle knowing that yout life, your love, you
has been reset by someone who never meant you any good?

Um, but you don't have to be stupid to be smart

Beautiful Day

Laid back and chill
Of course you can call
Intelligent with edge
Holla at your girl

Social yet private
Great mix
Name brand educated and still real
Yum

Modest with reason & room to brag
Thank you Lord for an unvain man
Loves his family in deed and word
A heart of gold

Attentive without the smother
A necessary balance
Proper etiquette and manly with it
Sexy

Beautiful dichotomy
A blend of spice with nice
A gentleman that can let the woman be strong
Whoa. Why are you single? Oh- you’re not.