Jealousy

I don't like to accuse people of being jealous of me because it begs the question "what is so good about you?" Therefore I will speak of those with jealous dispositions. It's not me they are jealous of, they are jealous of what they want that they think I have/am/do.

I think I am finally understanding jealously, someone who aspires to be or have what they think you are/have. Most jealous people probably pass for a pal, they are that pal that makes derogatory statements at every opportunity.

My dear older cousin and I had this discussion today. She told me that in life, when you are young you are basically on equal footing with your peers. Everyone is finding their way and doing similar things.

As you get older people find their path and branch out, some set themselves apart and seem to progress, that is when friendships end. Some will look at you and may begin to put down progress you appear to be making. You will make them feel inferior and they like to be above. That friendship won't work.

You are okay as long as you are from comparable backgrounds, and they are currently above you. If you seem to surpass what they want for themselves, you become competition and they must bring you down.

I told my cousin about a girl that told her best friend that I had a trust fund from my wealthy father, didn't have to work, lived a carefree life, and went to law school on a whim. I asked her why she told this lie and she said to make the girl jealous because that is what the girl would like for herself.

My cousin thought the things the girl was lying about were things she also wanted and that she had to uplift herself by leaving the other girl twisting in the wind. Both individuals were unhappy with their self. One felt the need to lie, the other felt hurt because she thought someone had what she didn't.

I have learned that the girl who told this lie seems to believe it. I have never told her anything about my father, in fact she told me she thought he was dead since I rarely mention him. She told me that I should have my father give me money for my wedding since he has all that money he isn't spending. I just looked at her.

First I don't need her, nor did I invite her into my wedding finances and second why is she trying to get into my parents finances? Is it normal for people to ask how much you are spending on a wedding? I've never thought to ask anyone that question. I just want to know if the cake is buttercream.

My cousin said she advises her kids to look at, how people are. Some people attach themselves to you based on something they want that you have, it could be social status, friends, etc. Don't get caught up in it.

It's okay to have these people as acquaintances but don't get too deep. You will have true friends but they can probably be counted on one hand.

I'm learning that lesson. People have told me that the girl is jealous and I've tried to figure out why she should be jealous. I am still building.

As I reflect on it the things she has done and say to me, I realize her goal was build an image. I never paid attention until recently and now she does her best to find a way to criticize anything surrounding me and uplift herseilf in words.