Happy New Year to everyone.
In the words of Mary J. "I appreciate life, I’m so glad that it's mine." Something about the end of the year (and flying) makes me reflect on how fragile life is. To enter a new year is a blessing, to complete a year is a blessing. To complete a day of life is a blessing, each second is a gift. I realize this and live with that in mind. I will not be the one looking back and saying I should have pursued this goal. Nope, I'm in constant pursuit. I'd rather fail in the attempt than to never have made the attempt. Failure is merely instruction on what not to do the next time you try. I don't make the resolutions because I know each day is a blessing in which I can begin again and finish what I began.
We had a wonderful Christmas Holiday. We are in the Bay Area and got nice cold Christmas weather. We've spent a few days in San Francisco hanging out, dining and enjoying the chilly yet very clear (no fog) days. I had a deposition near the wharf, and Mr A. surprised me with Clam Chowder from Fisherman's Wharf. He also drove me that morning and waited in the city until I was done. He's fabulous and I am thankful God has let me share in his life. After the deposition we went to the Embarcadero and Mr. A spotted a maternity Gap. I was able to pick up a few things and we walked to the Holding Company where I had my most favored virgin Strawberry Daiquiri and we watched the game and had appetizers. Later than evening the family came to the city and we dined at the House of Prime Rib and enjoyed ourselves tremendously. This place is said to be the best prime rib in the Bay Area. We spent the afternoon after Christmas shopping in Palo Alto and pushed my great aunt around in a mall issued wheel chair. I love that mall.
Mr. A went to hit a few golf balls this morning and was just invited to attend the Rose Bowl- but we're still in Oakland. He's had to turn down quite a few L.A. invitations, but we've been able to pick and choose from Bay Area choices. I love L.A. and all it offers, but I feel like I rejoin the social world when we are in the Bay. In L.A. I mix in with his buddies, but all his buddies are men so I don't hang out with them without him. I have a preference for hanging out with family and long time family friends. As I get older I'm less willing to add new folks to my friendship circle. I'm lazy and new people are work. I don't really have the desire to get to know folks. Give me the people I know, so I can relax and do me and appreciate them for who they are. Heck, by the time I get done reading blogs and read bloggers people trash folks they just meet, and use them as fodder to entertain, I'm even more resolved to stick with the folks I'm used to. Maybe I need to stop reading blogs.
The end of our Oakland visit will conclude with the family attending a Warriors game and having a suite at the Coliseum. Suite means our own box with food and drinks included. The only thing about watching a game from the suite is social engagement occurs more than game watching. Fortunately a few of my cousins plus the siblings will be there with us, so we'll get to run the suite. The perks of life in the Bay Area- banquets, formal lunches, plays, sporting events, parties galore, and more are always readily offered and free. I'm pleased to have gotten to spend this time here enjoying the Bay.
I'm also pleased because I've been feeling much much better. My energy has picked up and I feel like I've rejoined the land of the living. My belly has been rubbed and sang too and spoken too. I've gotten hug after hug after hug. It's nice to know others are also excitedly awaiting the arrival of Baby A.
I enjoy the opportunity to reflect through the blog, but I'm running out of things to reflect on. I think that's growth. I can't spend forever in the planning/reflection stage. Life is for living. I welcome 2008. Mr. A and I will have a new addition to our family, business is going well and looking bright for the future. I'm motivated about the work I'm doing. We have a couple of trips planned with my cousins and siblings. And I'll get to cuddle my own brand spanking new baby and raise him with the man I instinctively knew would be a fabulous, loving and hands on father. I appreciate life I'm so glad that its mine.
Is this just a California thing? Out here I see more men with baby bjorns, riding their baby on bikes, being the one to drop and pick up from school, grocery shopping with baby and being hands fathers. My own grandfather used to have my mother at work with them. She was driving his buses- full of people- at 4 years old. My oldest sister would go to work with my grandparents as well, but they didn't let her drive any bus. As a result my mother has always ran her own business and raised kids who also run their own business. 100% of her children have a business and she has encouraged and supported that and helped us organize them.
There I go reflecting. Happy 2008!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
True Story
I'm feeling a bit better. This will be brief. Don't expect much in the future.
A few mornings ago I was feeling trapped in my sleep. What I mean by that is I was awake but I was so fatigued that I just couldn't complete the process to get awake. I don't know if I'm the only one that has ever needed help pulling out of my sleep. That was the first time it had happened to me, but it was weird. Almost like you might slip into a coma if someone doesn't get you right then.
I was wondering where Mr. A was, but struggled to muster the energy to actually call his name. There was a risk that a door was shut or he wasn't in the next room and would not hear my call. I didn't have the energy to take that risk because I needed what I had to try to get myself awake.
I laid there and just began calling his name in my head. I was moaning it in my head. It was urgent. After a few moments of mentally calling his name in a pleading type of way, I heard him coming into the room and saying in an incredulous voice, "are you calling me?"
I needed that. His voice pulled me out of whatever state I was in. I told him I was calling him in my head. He asked if I was serious. I told him I was. I told him I couldn't call out. He said internally he kept hearing his name repeated and didn't know what it was. It was me.
Mr. A says no one will believe this story. But its true! I don't know what was happening with my body that morning, but I needed the rescue. I needed to get pulled from whatever I was stuck in. I'm sure we've all had the experience of feeling like our name is being called, and later learning that someone we love needed us.
Fortunately for me, Mr. A responded to my silent call.
A few mornings ago I was feeling trapped in my sleep. What I mean by that is I was awake but I was so fatigued that I just couldn't complete the process to get awake. I don't know if I'm the only one that has ever needed help pulling out of my sleep. That was the first time it had happened to me, but it was weird. Almost like you might slip into a coma if someone doesn't get you right then.
I was wondering where Mr. A was, but struggled to muster the energy to actually call his name. There was a risk that a door was shut or he wasn't in the next room and would not hear my call. I didn't have the energy to take that risk because I needed what I had to try to get myself awake.
I laid there and just began calling his name in my head. I was moaning it in my head. It was urgent. After a few moments of mentally calling his name in a pleading type of way, I heard him coming into the room and saying in an incredulous voice, "are you calling me?"
I needed that. His voice pulled me out of whatever state I was in. I told him I was calling him in my head. He asked if I was serious. I told him I was. I told him I couldn't call out. He said internally he kept hearing his name repeated and didn't know what it was. It was me.
Mr. A says no one will believe this story. But its true! I don't know what was happening with my body that morning, but I needed the rescue. I needed to get pulled from whatever I was stuck in. I'm sure we've all had the experience of feeling like our name is being called, and later learning that someone we love needed us.
Fortunately for me, Mr. A responded to my silent call.
Thoughts
I would love to write a post over here, but its too much work.
I can read blogs, even comment but the effort to complete a blog is pushing my morning- through out the day- sickness.
I have lots of work to do, but I've just been laying on the sofa. I made it to Whole Foods today for fruit for breakfast. It was yummy.
I know other women push their way through and go to work and raise families, and I could if I had to. But doggonit I don't have to.
Thank God for Mr. A. If I didn't have him, I have no idea what I'd do. I guess I'd have to get up and get busy. But on the bright side the books seem to say that next month I should be done with the morning sickness. And in other bright things, the sickness didn't start until after Thanksgiving. So I'm pretty fortunate.
Be back when the churning ceases.
I can read blogs, even comment but the effort to complete a blog is pushing my morning- through out the day- sickness.
I have lots of work to do, but I've just been laying on the sofa. I made it to Whole Foods today for fruit for breakfast. It was yummy.
I know other women push their way through and go to work and raise families, and I could if I had to. But doggonit I don't have to.
Thank God for Mr. A. If I didn't have him, I have no idea what I'd do. I guess I'd have to get up and get busy. But on the bright side the books seem to say that next month I should be done with the morning sickness. And in other bright things, the sickness didn't start until after Thanksgiving. So I'm pretty fortunate.
Be back when the churning ceases.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Future Baby Mama
I like this song. There is one part that says: To build a house together the thing that matters more, Is under the floor
A strong foundation that last forever more.
(written Friday)
Today we heard our baby's heart beat. It was AMAZING. I started laughing because it was such a joyful sound. I was in slight awe. That sound made me realize its REAL! There is a life, a person with its own life using my womb for warm shelter until ready to make a debut. We're the vessels.
Mr A and I have already decided what type of foundation we want to give our kids. A positive foundation and prayer, that's our strategy.
(written Sunday)
I MAKE PEOPLE
Today at church the minister Christened a child and said that the greatest gift we can give the world is a person. A person who is raised with a good foundation (he didn't say foundation but neither Mr. A or I can remember the exact word). A person who uses their talents and gifts to make a difference or a change in the world- it is the greatest gift.
That's my goal, to show our children they have a specially designed purpose. We'll do our best to make sure the kid knows that thoughts rule the world and thoughts rule him. Mr A has already been talking to the baby and telling him to THINK. So a man thinketh so is he. "Great men are they who see that spiritual is stronger than any material force; that thoughts rule the world." –Ralph Waldo Emerson
They'll know the power of words."In the beginning there was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
-- John 1
I know we'll learn lots of things along the way.
Planning for Eco-friendly Babies
In other great things, we'll both be staying home with the kid- working from home. This should prove very interesting. I'll probably hire someone to come help out a few days. I'm sure we can't get real work done and care for an infant. I used to naively think I'd maintain a flexible at home work schedule so that when kids arrived the transition would be simple. I'm realizing that I get very caught up in work. Too caught up to combine work with a baby. Maybe I'll be able to structure things so I only work 1 day a week. We have some months to figure it out but the baby gets top priority.
I've found diaper services in both Oakland and L.A. that will pick up the soiled cloth diapers and deliver clean ones. Baby A is trying to be eco-friendly. I've also heard babies can be potty trained faster when they feel the moisture and the cloth diapers allow them to feel the moisture and be better able to make the transition from diaper to potty.
A strong foundation that last forever more.
(written Friday)
Today we heard our baby's heart beat. It was AMAZING. I started laughing because it was such a joyful sound. I was in slight awe. That sound made me realize its REAL! There is a life, a person with its own life using my womb for warm shelter until ready to make a debut. We're the vessels.
Mr A and I have already decided what type of foundation we want to give our kids. A positive foundation and prayer, that's our strategy.
(written Sunday)
I MAKE PEOPLE
Today at church the minister Christened a child and said that the greatest gift we can give the world is a person. A person who is raised with a good foundation (he didn't say foundation but neither Mr. A or I can remember the exact word). A person who uses their talents and gifts to make a difference or a change in the world- it is the greatest gift.
That's my goal, to show our children they have a specially designed purpose. We'll do our best to make sure the kid knows that thoughts rule the world and thoughts rule him. Mr A has already been talking to the baby and telling him to THINK. So a man thinketh so is he. "Great men are they who see that spiritual is stronger than any material force; that thoughts rule the world." –Ralph Waldo Emerson
They'll know the power of words."In the beginning there was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
-- John 1
I know we'll learn lots of things along the way.
Planning for Eco-friendly Babies
In other great things, we'll both be staying home with the kid- working from home. This should prove very interesting. I'll probably hire someone to come help out a few days. I'm sure we can't get real work done and care for an infant. I used to naively think I'd maintain a flexible at home work schedule so that when kids arrived the transition would be simple. I'm realizing that I get very caught up in work. Too caught up to combine work with a baby. Maybe I'll be able to structure things so I only work 1 day a week. We have some months to figure it out but the baby gets top priority.
I've found diaper services in both Oakland and L.A. that will pick up the soiled cloth diapers and deliver clean ones. Baby A is trying to be eco-friendly. I've also heard babies can be potty trained faster when they feel the moisture and the cloth diapers allow them to feel the moisture and be better able to make the transition from diaper to potty.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Midnite is the only time
that I can hear from you. Oh how I wish you'd call me when your skies are blue.
Those are part of the lyrics in a song performed by now gospel artist Coco of SWV aka Cheryl Gamble. The title is Midnite and is by Brent Jones. It's saying how we tell God we love him but only call him when we need him. That God has so much more to offer us than helping us out of distress. That song brings me near tears each time I hear it. I don't want to be the person that only calls God's name in times of distress.
Sometimes our friends and family treat us that way. You see their number and you know they want you to help them out with something. I take it personally and sometimes won't answer. I'm always ready to help my family but I realize there is a difference between helping out, being a resource and being used.
I'm so much more than an emergency resource. Luckily for folks God ain't like me because there are calls I won't return. If you can't call each blue moon to say what's up, DO NOT call to ask for help. My time is reserved for folks who pay me or who love me on a regular basis. I'm more inclined to help a person I don't know before I help someone I know but only pops up in times of need.
Those are part of the lyrics in a song performed by now gospel artist Coco of SWV aka Cheryl Gamble. The title is Midnite and is by Brent Jones. It's saying how we tell God we love him but only call him when we need him. That God has so much more to offer us than helping us out of distress. That song brings me near tears each time I hear it. I don't want to be the person that only calls God's name in times of distress.
Sometimes our friends and family treat us that way. You see their number and you know they want you to help them out with something. I take it personally and sometimes won't answer. I'm always ready to help my family but I realize there is a difference between helping out, being a resource and being used.
I'm so much more than an emergency resource. Luckily for folks God ain't like me because there are calls I won't return. If you can't call each blue moon to say what's up, DO NOT call to ask for help. My time is reserved for folks who pay me or who love me on a regular basis. I'm more inclined to help a person I don't know before I help someone I know but only pops up in times of need.
