Well a particular "friend" (I'll call her Ms. Chick) in my life has begun to show her true colors. She's always shown them but now she seems to have lost control of how to manage them. She acts so bougie. Notice I say act. I enjoy true bougie, but fake is awful. But I never hate on her, I allow her to be who and how she wants to be. She tries to portray a cultured image. But folks can cultivate the type of persona they want.
In law school, I wondered why she didn't get along with any of the other black people and years later I realized its because she is super competitive and has to be the most fabulous. My personality allows people to be as fabulous as they want. I even will encourage an ego. I'm happy with who I am, so why would I begrudge someone the joy of pretending to be who they want to be? Practice makes perfect and maybe one day she'll be that person. I'm realizing that these type of personalites are bred of insecurity.
Well Ms. Chick is getting on edge with me. I think she is trying to test my finances. But I won't let them be tested. I'll happily get out her mix. I know how much money I've got, I know how much I can spend and I feel no need to attempt to live beyond my means just to make someone think how I'm living is in my means.
Well for years Ms. Chick had been extolling to me the greatness of her boyfriend. I never doubted anything she told me. Why the heck would she need to lie, and especially to me. For the length of time I've known her, almost 9 years now, I've just now got a serious relationship. So why lie to the single girl? The fact that she had a man was more than I had, so why make up stories about his wealth, and business prowess.
Just this past year she lied to me about his office space. Yes ya'll something that trivial. The lie she told was 100% voluntary. I didn't ask her anything about her man. Liars are bad, but I think they are worse when they volunteer a lie. If you lie for protection, you can feign justification, but when you volunteer, folks know you lack somethings.
So today I found out this grand office space her boyfriend has is virtual office space. But this lie let me know that what the hairdresser said was correct. "Ms. Chick is trying to impress you, she is jealous, negative, not professional and your business will do better if she's not around." It's some other stuff going on too.
Ms. Chick always tells me how much she makes. I don't care, I can't spend her money. She has spent the year telling me she was going to buy a house because she made so much and needed the deduction. Well I happened to fall into a house that exceeds the purchase price she had set for herself. I think that upset her, because like I said, now she is trying to test my finances. I had to tell her my mortgage comes first.
So I'm moving on, saving some money and perhaps with the money I save I'll do something nice for myself. Ms. Chick has unknowingly done me a money saving, comfort giving favor.
Friday, December 31, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Romance
The rain is romance
It brings its own lighting
No need to close the blinds in the daytime
It inspires a cuddle
As I listen to the sound of the rain and hear his heartbeat
The rain is my permission to wear my comfortable clothes
Romance doesn't feel like silk
It feels like flannel, warm and comforting
It feels like cashmere, smooth and soft
When it rains I want flannel, I want cashmere
I want him
The rain wants me to slow things down
That's romance, no rush
Time to savor the warmth, the joy, the peace
Each raindrop is like a kiss
Perfect
It brings its own lighting
No need to close the blinds in the daytime
It inspires a cuddle
As I listen to the sound of the rain and hear his heartbeat
The rain is my permission to wear my comfortable clothes
Romance doesn't feel like silk
It feels like flannel, warm and comforting
It feels like cashmere, smooth and soft
When it rains I want flannel, I want cashmere
I want him
The rain wants me to slow things down
That's romance, no rush
Time to savor the warmth, the joy, the peace
Each raindrop is like a kiss
Perfect
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Married Life
I'm not married but I am on day 6 of my guy's week visit. It's been fun, we've had some disagreements, we've conquered them and his presence hasn't annoyed me nor has it made me think living with a man and him in particular would be unbearable. Mostly its been very enjoyable. The strangest part for me is the bathroom situation. I had always assumed that I would need a minimum of 2 bathrooms to have a successful marriage. I only have one bathroom and except for the shock of seeing the toilet seat up, I haven't been disgusted by what I imagined a man's bathroom habits to be.
Although whenever I'm at his house, I've never noticed the seat being left up. I question this? No - I don't think he is harboring a woman in his home but I know that the toilet seat is always down. Things that make me go hmmm?
We've even managed to get along with just one t.v. He loves football and sports and we have found a happy medium between my shows and his. In fact my soap opera just came on and he seems intent to shower for the entire hour.
Well I've actually been cooking, and enjoying it. My domestic tendencies are showing. I like preparing meals and since he's a better cook than myself, I've learned to make a couple things.
Perhaps this is the honeymoon phase. Whatever it is I'm going with and enjoying the flow.
Although whenever I'm at his house, I've never noticed the seat being left up. I question this? No - I don't think he is harboring a woman in his home but I know that the toilet seat is always down. Things that make me go hmmm?
We've even managed to get along with just one t.v. He loves football and sports and we have found a happy medium between my shows and his. In fact my soap opera just came on and he seems intent to shower for the entire hour.
Well I've actually been cooking, and enjoying it. My domestic tendencies are showing. I like preparing meals and since he's a better cook than myself, I've learned to make a couple things.
Perhaps this is the honeymoon phase. Whatever it is I'm going with and enjoying the flow.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Getting Up Early
Is the time you wake an indicator of success? I don't know Oprah, Donald Trump or Bill Gates but I bet they get up very early. The few people that I do know that have amazing success at a young age, barely sleep and they are loving what they do.
I always intend to start my day at 6:30 and on many mornings I'm up by that time, but getting out the house before 9:30 is another story.
I hear "A" list celebrities talk about their early morning calls and leaving home at 3 a.m. so they can be ready to film at 8 or 9 a.m.
I'm thinking I need to get up early and actually get things done. Plus, I'm thinking if I'm enjoying what I do it won't be a drag to get up, as Dr. Phil said about doing what you love, I'd want to sleep fast, so I could start the day again.
I always intend to start my day at 6:30 and on many mornings I'm up by that time, but getting out the house before 9:30 is another story.
I hear "A" list celebrities talk about their early morning calls and leaving home at 3 a.m. so they can be ready to film at 8 or 9 a.m.
I'm thinking I need to get up early and actually get things done. Plus, I'm thinking if I'm enjoying what I do it won't be a drag to get up, as Dr. Phil said about doing what you love, I'd want to sleep fast, so I could start the day again.
Spreading the Word
Many of my thoughts center around work. I'm self employed and doing my best to start a second venture that has been my dream for more than 10 years now.
So I've been spreading the word. At first I didn't want to share my dream (outisde of my family) because if it didn't work out I didn't want folks asking me what happened. But as I've began to share, most people want to help or be a part of it, or recommend me to someone that has some assistance to offer to me.
Well at a house party thrown by my mother this Sunday, I asked my aunt if she knew a woman who owns a very successful ad agency. I have been trying to find a connection to this lady for a couple of months. I've also been trying to find a connection to anyone in the advertising world.
Well I don't know if this ad lady is a Delta, (a couple years back our newspaper had an article about the deb ball her daughter was in and I knew it wasn't the AKA affair and I thought it was Delta) and since my aunt is a Delta and around her age I thought perhaps their paths may have crossed somewhere. My aunt didn't personally know her and couldn't provide me with a direct link to her.
So I was telling my brother the story about my search for this woman and how our aunt didn't know her. He posseses a photographic memory and recalled that the deb ball was put on by the Links, so the woman might not be a Delta. He also told me he knew the woman. She had contacted him regarding some business relating to the company he works for, told her she knew him and he assisted her.
He promised to send her an email with the request that she have a conversation with me about my business venture.
I'm super excited and realizing that in business spreading the word can sometimes be beneficial and spreading the word to the correct people is even better. I was asking the wrong people.
So I've been spreading the word. At first I didn't want to share my dream (outisde of my family) because if it didn't work out I didn't want folks asking me what happened. But as I've began to share, most people want to help or be a part of it, or recommend me to someone that has some assistance to offer to me.
Well at a house party thrown by my mother this Sunday, I asked my aunt if she knew a woman who owns a very successful ad agency. I have been trying to find a connection to this lady for a couple of months. I've also been trying to find a connection to anyone in the advertising world.
Well I don't know if this ad lady is a Delta, (a couple years back our newspaper had an article about the deb ball her daughter was in and I knew it wasn't the AKA affair and I thought it was Delta) and since my aunt is a Delta and around her age I thought perhaps their paths may have crossed somewhere. My aunt didn't personally know her and couldn't provide me with a direct link to her.
So I was telling my brother the story about my search for this woman and how our aunt didn't know her. He posseses a photographic memory and recalled that the deb ball was put on by the Links, so the woman might not be a Delta. He also told me he knew the woman. She had contacted him regarding some business relating to the company he works for, told her she knew him and he assisted her.
He promised to send her an email with the request that she have a conversation with me about my business venture.
I'm super excited and realizing that in business spreading the word can sometimes be beneficial and spreading the word to the correct people is even better. I was asking the wrong people.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Magical Date
Okay this blog is about a date I had, my guy reads my blog so he's gonna have to read about himself in this one.
Well this date was magical because it consisted of my favorite things and my guy didn't even know they were my favorite things.
So I'm there visiting ( almost 300 miles seperate us) this was probably our first couple outing, first time without family and/or friends.
The conversation went something like this
Him: So what do you want to do?
Me: Anything is fine. (I know guys actually want an answer when they ask that)
Him: Do you want to see a movie?
Me: Nope, we can't talk during the movie.
Him: Do you like Jamba Juice?
Me: Yes, I do (super excited, I lu-uvvv Jamba Juice , I drink them when I want to treat myself)
Him: Well I thought we could go to Jamba Juice and my favorite Sushi bar is right next to it, so we could go there
Me: Sushi? you eat sushi? What kind?
Ladies I wanted to jump with glee. Sushi is what I eat when I want to treat myself . Sushi for me is like my permission to relax and just enjoy. Jamba Juice is the same thing. Plus both are so expensive cuz it takes much Sushi to get full. This man was offering me three of my favorite things without even realizing it. Him, sushi and Jamba Juice. Ya'll I had to tell him.
Me: I usually only eat sushi when I get paid, it's how I treat myself.
Him: smile
Me: And I love Jamba Juice, I drink it when I want to treat myself. I never imagined that I'd ever have a man that I really like, sushi and Jamba Juice all together. It's like my fairytale.
The small pleasures in life really mean so much. This is not some fru fru guy either, he isn't petite nor does he drink tea with his pinky out. He's like a football kinda dude, which makes it all the better. A man with a liking for delicacies.
The day was beautiful, there was an art festival and we walked along and looked at the various sidewalk art and yes, he held my hand.
I sigh just thinking about it.
Side note: the best thing about my building is that it is across the street from my brother's building. In the middle of writing this blog we took a walk to the bank. I didn't want to go to the bank but being self employed I sometimes have to work on my clients cash schedule. We have lunch together on lots of days and sometimes we run errands together. It's fun. END SIDENOTE.
Well this date was magical because it consisted of my favorite things and my guy didn't even know they were my favorite things.
So I'm there visiting ( almost 300 miles seperate us) this was probably our first couple outing, first time without family and/or friends.
The conversation went something like this
Him: So what do you want to do?
Me: Anything is fine. (I know guys actually want an answer when they ask that)
Him: Do you want to see a movie?
Me: Nope, we can't talk during the movie.
Him: Do you like Jamba Juice?
Me: Yes, I do (super excited, I lu-uvvv Jamba Juice , I drink them when I want to treat myself)
Him: Well I thought we could go to Jamba Juice and my favorite Sushi bar is right next to it, so we could go there
Me: Sushi? you eat sushi? What kind?
Ladies I wanted to jump with glee. Sushi is what I eat when I want to treat myself . Sushi for me is like my permission to relax and just enjoy. Jamba Juice is the same thing. Plus both are so expensive cuz it takes much Sushi to get full. This man was offering me three of my favorite things without even realizing it. Him, sushi and Jamba Juice. Ya'll I had to tell him.
Me: I usually only eat sushi when I get paid, it's how I treat myself.
Him: smile
Me: And I love Jamba Juice, I drink it when I want to treat myself. I never imagined that I'd ever have a man that I really like, sushi and Jamba Juice all together. It's like my fairytale.
The small pleasures in life really mean so much. This is not some fru fru guy either, he isn't petite nor does he drink tea with his pinky out. He's like a football kinda dude, which makes it all the better. A man with a liking for delicacies.
The day was beautiful, there was an art festival and we walked along and looked at the various sidewalk art and yes, he held my hand.
I sigh just thinking about it.
Side note: the best thing about my building is that it is across the street from my brother's building. In the middle of writing this blog we took a walk to the bank. I didn't want to go to the bank but being self employed I sometimes have to work on my clients cash schedule. We have lunch together on lots of days and sometimes we run errands together. It's fun. END SIDENOTE.
