I guess I'm moving to Blogsome Bay. I like the options to delete posts, spammers watch out, and I like the ability to password protect entries.
Check me out at Call2arms.blogsome.com
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Thursday, August 25, 2005
WHOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I think I have found the place, not only that but my cousins ex husband has offered to sponsor my use of this place. It's a country club. Their initiation fee $50k. Plus a hefty monthly fee. But in the price is use of the facilities and the ability to sponsor folks like me. YAAAAY. I don't have all the details yet, but I'm guessing moms will still have to cover the food costs.
Now if someone gives me a good dress, we might be able to have this event and only have to pay for flowers and invitations.
And why is the sweater/shawl/vest I got in NYC last summer for $50, now being sold at Neiman for a few hundred. Maybe I should be a buyer.
I'm back on blog vaca.
Now if someone gives me a good dress, we might be able to have this event and only have to pay for flowers and invitations.
And why is the sweater/shawl/vest I got in NYC last summer for $50, now being sold at Neiman for a few hundred. Maybe I should be a buyer.
I'm back on blog vaca.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
VACA
I'm on a blog vaca, I left some entries to remember me by. I didn't run of things to say but I must use my time differently. I'll be visiting your blog, so get to writing.
Coley asked me about my name C2A Call2Arms, a while ago. Another blogger did the abbreviation and I liked it and kept using it.
My blog is entitled Fighting For Something, so since I needed to be prepared for the fight I named myself C2A because I was making a call to myself to have my own weapons ready.
Coley asked me about my name C2A Call2Arms, a while ago. Another blogger did the abbreviation and I liked it and kept using it.
My blog is entitled Fighting For Something, so since I needed to be prepared for the fight I named myself C2A because I was making a call to myself to have my own weapons ready.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Things and Things
My guys tempature has gone down and his compliant behavior has disapppeared. When he was really sick, I'd give him ice, water, soup, any suggestion and he would comply. This morning I offered him water and he said "no." Then this morning he said, I can probably go back to work earlier than I thought.
Oh nooooooo. He stood up and realized he was weaker than he thought but his dominant nature is back. Yaaaaay. He's a great patient though.
Today I took a mini tour of Beverly Hills, homes and viewed an open house. It was great. The hot tub was built into the pool and was underneath two waterfalls.
The house was 3,993,000. So if anyone wants to deposit some cash into my pay pal account to get me closer to my home in the Hills, I promise to let you spend the night when you come to L.A.
My friends from Jr. High came by to visit, so I'm about to chat with them, because right about now I am being the total hermit.
Take care all, enjoy yourselves.
Oh nooooooo. He stood up and realized he was weaker than he thought but his dominant nature is back. Yaaaaay. He's a great patient though.
Today I took a mini tour of Beverly Hills, homes and viewed an open house. It was great. The hot tub was built into the pool and was underneath two waterfalls.
The house was 3,993,000. So if anyone wants to deposit some cash into my pay pal account to get me closer to my home in the Hills, I promise to let you spend the night when you come to L.A.
My friends from Jr. High came by to visit, so I'm about to chat with them, because right about now I am being the total hermit.
Take care all, enjoy yourselves.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Friendships/Weddings
This past weekend, my family and I went to a wedding. The wedding was nice although 45 minutes late, the processional was quick, nothing strange happened. It was destroyed in my opinion, by the ministers. There were two, the main guy tried to bring a message that made no sense, then the second person wanted to tell us info they had discussed in premarital counseling. He was also long winded.
They never said I now pronounce you man and wife. They jumped the broom and the minister stood in front and the photographer was unable to get a photo and the audience couldn't see it.
The groom was the son of my mother's childhood friend from church and school.
My mom was telling me she had been friends with the woman, "B" for over 50 years.
We went to Jr high and high school with B's children and my mother and B live 4 houses away from each other. I also went to college with the daughter. All but 2 of the groomsmen went to jr high and high school with us, so I guess the son keeps his friends too. I thought that was very nice.
My mother has another friend C, C's parents and my mother's parents grew up together in Bakersfield. Both C's family and my mother's family moved to Oakland at the same time, went to the same church and C and my mother.
So C, and my mother met B at the same time at church, and they went to the same jr. high through high school. My mother always has really nice stories about her and B growing up and hanging out. Whenever my mom and B get together, they will talk for hours and hours and hours and have lots of fun.
A few years ago B had a retirement party. B and her husband did quite well for themselves, have a fab home and nice children. B's husband got a promotion and began working in D.C. They bought a home there. B travels back and forth between the two states.
C asked my mother why B needed a house in D.C. and Oakland. My mother told C because they could afford it.
C was invited to B's party but didn't show up, she was in town and after the party she called my grandmother and tried to get details. My grandmother wouldn't give any details, she told her she should have come if she wanted to know about it.
C didn't come to the wedding this weekend either. B paid for the reception. It was probably around 30k or 40k for about 300 guests.
My mother instructed us not to give her the phone if C called looking for information about the wedding. She told us when you have a happy event, you can tell who is jealous by their failure to attend.
My sister asked my mother if B had went to C's son wedding, my mother didn't go and didn't know. My brother is C's godchild, he went to the wedding and said B wasn't there. I asked my mother why I wasn't invited to the C's son wedding and she said, the bride had only given C 10 invites because the plates were $100 each. My brother said about 200 people were at the reception.
Which leads me to my next point. I know people have wedding budgets. I realize I don't have to pay for my reception so I won't have this issue, but why would a bride limit the guests her groom can have? Why would she want his family and friends to be overwhelmed by hers. It's one thing if they don't come, it's another not to invite them because of money. She could have spent $50 a plate and doubled the guests. If my mother wasn't covering the reception I would figure something out not to limit his guests in favor of mine.
My mother said at her wedding reception she was able to invite everyone and she told me for mine I could have however many people I want. My groom's mother can invite whoever she wants and so can he.
What the heck is wrong with folks? What the heck kind of marriage is that? I need to check and see if they are still together.
They never said I now pronounce you man and wife. They jumped the broom and the minister stood in front and the photographer was unable to get a photo and the audience couldn't see it.
The groom was the son of my mother's childhood friend from church and school.
My mom was telling me she had been friends with the woman, "B" for over 50 years.
We went to Jr high and high school with B's children and my mother and B live 4 houses away from each other. I also went to college with the daughter. All but 2 of the groomsmen went to jr high and high school with us, so I guess the son keeps his friends too. I thought that was very nice.
My mother has another friend C, C's parents and my mother's parents grew up together in Bakersfield. Both C's family and my mother's family moved to Oakland at the same time, went to the same church and C and my mother.
So C, and my mother met B at the same time at church, and they went to the same jr. high through high school. My mother always has really nice stories about her and B growing up and hanging out. Whenever my mom and B get together, they will talk for hours and hours and hours and have lots of fun.
A few years ago B had a retirement party. B and her husband did quite well for themselves, have a fab home and nice children. B's husband got a promotion and began working in D.C. They bought a home there. B travels back and forth between the two states.
C asked my mother why B needed a house in D.C. and Oakland. My mother told C because they could afford it.
C was invited to B's party but didn't show up, she was in town and after the party she called my grandmother and tried to get details. My grandmother wouldn't give any details, she told her she should have come if she wanted to know about it.
C didn't come to the wedding this weekend either. B paid for the reception. It was probably around 30k or 40k for about 300 guests.
My mother instructed us not to give her the phone if C called looking for information about the wedding. She told us when you have a happy event, you can tell who is jealous by their failure to attend.
My sister asked my mother if B had went to C's son wedding, my mother didn't go and didn't know. My brother is C's godchild, he went to the wedding and said B wasn't there. I asked my mother why I wasn't invited to the C's son wedding and she said, the bride had only given C 10 invites because the plates were $100 each. My brother said about 200 people were at the reception.
Which leads me to my next point. I know people have wedding budgets. I realize I don't have to pay for my reception so I won't have this issue, but why would a bride limit the guests her groom can have? Why would she want his family and friends to be overwhelmed by hers. It's one thing if they don't come, it's another not to invite them because of money. She could have spent $50 a plate and doubled the guests. If my mother wasn't covering the reception I would figure something out not to limit his guests in favor of mine.
My mother said at her wedding reception she was able to invite everyone and she told me for mine I could have however many people I want. My groom's mother can invite whoever she wants and so can he.
What the heck is wrong with folks? What the heck kind of marriage is that? I need to check and see if they are still together.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Song of Solomon 8
6 Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.
7 Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.
This love is some powerful love and its in the Bible.
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.
7 Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.
This love is some powerful love and its in the Bible.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Jealousy
I don't like to accuse people of being jealous of me because it begs the question "what is so good about you?" Therefore I will speak of those with jealous dispositions. It's not me they are jealous of, they are jealous of what they want that they think I have/am/do.
I think I am finally understanding jealously, someone who aspires to be or have what they think you are/have. Most jealous people probably pass for a pal, they are that pal that makes derogatory statements at every opportunity.
My dear older cousin and I had this discussion today. She told me that in life, when you are young you are basically on equal footing with your peers. Everyone is finding their way and doing similar things.
As you get older people find their path and branch out, some set themselves apart and seem to progress, that is when friendships end. Some will look at you and may begin to put down progress you appear to be making. You will make them feel inferior and they like to be above. That friendship won't work.
You are okay as long as you are from comparable backgrounds, and they are currently above you. If you seem to surpass what they want for themselves, you become competition and they must bring you down.
I told my cousin about a girl that told her best friend that I had a trust fund from my wealthy father, didn't have to work, lived a carefree life, and went to law school on a whim. I asked her why she told this lie and she said to make the girl jealous because that is what the girl would like for herself.
My cousin thought the things the girl was lying about were things she also wanted and that she had to uplift herself by leaving the other girl twisting in the wind. Both individuals were unhappy with their self. One felt the need to lie, the other felt hurt because she thought someone had what she didn't.
I have learned that the girl who told this lie seems to believe it. I have never told her anything about my father, in fact she told me she thought he was dead since I rarely mention him. She told me that I should have my father give me money for my wedding since he has all that money he isn't spending. I just looked at her.
First I don't need her, nor did I invite her into my wedding finances and second why is she trying to get into my parents finances? Is it normal for people to ask how much you are spending on a wedding? I've never thought to ask anyone that question. I just want to know if the cake is buttercream.
My cousin said she advises her kids to look at, how people are. Some people attach themselves to you based on something they want that you have, it could be social status, friends, etc. Don't get caught up in it.
It's okay to have these people as acquaintances but don't get too deep. You will have true friends but they can probably be counted on one hand.
I'm learning that lesson. People have told me that the girl is jealous and I've tried to figure out why she should be jealous. I am still building.
As I reflect on it the things she has done and say to me, I realize her goal was build an image. I never paid attention until recently and now she does her best to find a way to criticize anything surrounding me and uplift herseilf in words.
I think I am finally understanding jealously, someone who aspires to be or have what they think you are/have. Most jealous people probably pass for a pal, they are that pal that makes derogatory statements at every opportunity.
My dear older cousin and I had this discussion today. She told me that in life, when you are young you are basically on equal footing with your peers. Everyone is finding their way and doing similar things.
As you get older people find their path and branch out, some set themselves apart and seem to progress, that is when friendships end. Some will look at you and may begin to put down progress you appear to be making. You will make them feel inferior and they like to be above. That friendship won't work.
You are okay as long as you are from comparable backgrounds, and they are currently above you. If you seem to surpass what they want for themselves, you become competition and they must bring you down.
I told my cousin about a girl that told her best friend that I had a trust fund from my wealthy father, didn't have to work, lived a carefree life, and went to law school on a whim. I asked her why she told this lie and she said to make the girl jealous because that is what the girl would like for herself.
My cousin thought the things the girl was lying about were things she also wanted and that she had to uplift herself by leaving the other girl twisting in the wind. Both individuals were unhappy with their self. One felt the need to lie, the other felt hurt because she thought someone had what she didn't.
I have learned that the girl who told this lie seems to believe it. I have never told her anything about my father, in fact she told me she thought he was dead since I rarely mention him. She told me that I should have my father give me money for my wedding since he has all that money he isn't spending. I just looked at her.
First I don't need her, nor did I invite her into my wedding finances and second why is she trying to get into my parents finances? Is it normal for people to ask how much you are spending on a wedding? I've never thought to ask anyone that question. I just want to know if the cake is buttercream.
My cousin said she advises her kids to look at, how people are. Some people attach themselves to you based on something they want that you have, it could be social status, friends, etc. Don't get caught up in it.
It's okay to have these people as acquaintances but don't get too deep. You will have true friends but they can probably be counted on one hand.
I'm learning that lesson. People have told me that the girl is jealous and I've tried to figure out why she should be jealous. I am still building.
As I reflect on it the things she has done and say to me, I realize her goal was build an image. I never paid attention until recently and now she does her best to find a way to criticize anything surrounding me and uplift herseilf in words.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Fighting to Keep It All
I've been trying to think of creative ways to keep my house with the furniture in it and have an apartment and life in L.A. My house is too cute to let go.
I want to lease it to a friend but only certain friends, I don't want the place to become a den of iniquity because I may want to return to it sometime.
Today my mom informed me that my sister's best friend from high school is planning to return to the Bay. This best friend has been away for over 10 years, college in Atl, then life in Atl, then Texas, but she wants to return. YAAAYYYYY!! because I really like this girl, I was said when she left Ga. because she was the best tour guide and hostess ever, although she usually came and stayed in the hotel with us
So if I can rent my house to her for $500, I'll be able to maintain the house and she'll get a great deal because she won't find rent cheaper than that. My only requirement will be that I can leave my things in the house, which also helps her because she doesn't have to worry about furnishings.
Too many thoughts, if I can settle this case I have real quick then it also won't be an issue. Let's send positive thoughts that this case will settle with enough cash for me keep the house here, live there, eat and shop.
I want to lease it to a friend but only certain friends, I don't want the place to become a den of iniquity because I may want to return to it sometime.
Today my mom informed me that my sister's best friend from high school is planning to return to the Bay. This best friend has been away for over 10 years, college in Atl, then life in Atl, then Texas, but she wants to return. YAAAYYYYY!! because I really like this girl, I was said when she left Ga. because she was the best tour guide and hostess ever, although she usually came and stayed in the hotel with us
So if I can rent my house to her for $500, I'll be able to maintain the house and she'll get a great deal because she won't find rent cheaper than that. My only requirement will be that I can leave my things in the house, which also helps her because she doesn't have to worry about furnishings.
Too many thoughts, if I can settle this case I have real quick then it also won't be an issue. Let's send positive thoughts that this case will settle with enough cash for me keep the house here, live there, eat and shop.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Provisions
My grandmother had a couple of birdbaths, my mother does too.
God uses people to help his people out. The birds could go to the lake or some other source to get water, but they can also stop by the house and help themselves.
When I look and see the birds making use of the baths at their leisure, I think that God used my grandmother and mother to help some of his creatures. Usually I don't pay attention to the birds but every so often one will catch my attention and I think if God can assist his bird, he'll certainly make provisions for me.
I used to have a neighbor that would feed the birds. The birds never pooped on his car, they didn't poop on ours either, although sometimes they'd get close, but perhaps when you help, you won't be hurt by the help you've given.
God uses people to help his people out. The birds could go to the lake or some other source to get water, but they can also stop by the house and help themselves.
When I look and see the birds making use of the baths at their leisure, I think that God used my grandmother and mother to help some of his creatures. Usually I don't pay attention to the birds but every so often one will catch my attention and I think if God can assist his bird, he'll certainly make provisions for me.
I used to have a neighbor that would feed the birds. The birds never pooped on his car, they didn't poop on ours either, although sometimes they'd get close, but perhaps when you help, you won't be hurt by the help you've given.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
THE ONE
The ONE does exist.
The one that lifts my heart when I'm mad, sad, or blue.
The one that comforts me without saying a word.
The one whose existance makes me smile inside.
The one that gives hope to thoughts of my future.
The one whom money or beauty isn't an issue.
The one who seems to understand what I'm saying.
The one I love even when I'm upset.
The one who supports me when I feel wronged by others.
The one I want even when we don't agree.
The one who loves me with my imperfections.
The one who loves me when I think I'm right and they know I'm wrong.
The one that keeps me feeling special.
The one that keeps me feeling beautiful.
The one that makes me believe I can achieve anything.
The one whom being without seems unthinkable.
The one who seems to have always been there.
The one whom I want to please
The one whose pleasure is my joy
The one I want to honor and cherish
The one I want to tell and keep telling everyone about.
I have THE ONE.
The one that lifts my heart when I'm mad, sad, or blue.
The one that comforts me without saying a word.
The one whose existance makes me smile inside.
The one that gives hope to thoughts of my future.
The one whom money or beauty isn't an issue.
The one who seems to understand what I'm saying.
The one I love even when I'm upset.
The one who supports me when I feel wronged by others.
The one I want even when we don't agree.
The one who loves me with my imperfections.
The one who loves me when I think I'm right and they know I'm wrong.
The one that keeps me feeling special.
The one that keeps me feeling beautiful.
The one that makes me believe I can achieve anything.
The one whom being without seems unthinkable.
The one who seems to have always been there.
The one whom I want to please
The one whose pleasure is my joy
The one I want to honor and cherish
The one I want to tell and keep telling everyone about.
I have THE ONE.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
ALIVE
I made it back from Palm Springs alive.
This may not seem like a major feat to some but I could have died.
I went to Palm Springs with my guy, his friend and the wife of his friend. On Saturday the girl and I planned to go shopping, the guys went to play golf. The girl and I got severely lost, then got bad directions. We ended up circling the San Bernandino Mountains, in the middle of a storm. We were traveling on a two lane, windy road, at 4000 feet, with nowhere to go but down if we slipped. The signs said "icy" and "rock slide area."
We were told that if we took the 74 we would travel for about 15 minutes and end up at the 10 freeway and could head back to the freeway and be about 20 minutes from the shopping stores. We thought about turning around and asked a man how far was the freeway, he looked at his map and said about 10 miles. Well about 70 miles later we were still driving, we considered turning around but kept deciding not to because we had went so far and didn't know if the freeway would be the next mile. We finally got down off the mountain and found that we were 76 miles from San Diego.
We entered a town that appeared to be Mayberry, it was like a movie, both of us envisioned ourselves as the victims in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
The proprieter of the general store told us that the way we traveled was a short cut from San Diego to Palm Springs and that if we took the highway it would be a little over 2 hours but the mountainous route was 45 minutes. So we headed back the way we came, and went back into the storm and terrifying curves of the moutains. The drive was longer than 45 minutes, but perhaps because San Diego residents drive 100 at all times, it would be 45 minutes to them. If I had a picture you might be scared of the road we traveled. We were so close to the edge of the cliff, and looking down the rocky mountains, was the most frightening sensation I know.
On our way back to Palm Springs we drove through the arc of a rainbow. That was a awe inspiring experience. We were able to see where it began and ended and went underneath it. That must mean some sort of blessing on our lives.
Strangest thing about the route we took is that is was very well traveled, There was a constant stream of cars, speeding as if the rain and muddy roads didn't exist.
MY GUY
The fella and I are still together. We are still alive, he and I almost died, not from discovering that we were incompatible but from Nicole induced drama. But I won't get all mushy and detailed on my blog, but there really must be someone for everyone because he remains patient and rational throughout all the drama I bring, even when I have dramaed myself out.
This may not seem like a major feat to some but I could have died.
I went to Palm Springs with my guy, his friend and the wife of his friend. On Saturday the girl and I planned to go shopping, the guys went to play golf. The girl and I got severely lost, then got bad directions. We ended up circling the San Bernandino Mountains, in the middle of a storm. We were traveling on a two lane, windy road, at 4000 feet, with nowhere to go but down if we slipped. The signs said "icy" and "rock slide area."
We were told that if we took the 74 we would travel for about 15 minutes and end up at the 10 freeway and could head back to the freeway and be about 20 minutes from the shopping stores. We thought about turning around and asked a man how far was the freeway, he looked at his map and said about 10 miles. Well about 70 miles later we were still driving, we considered turning around but kept deciding not to because we had went so far and didn't know if the freeway would be the next mile. We finally got down off the mountain and found that we were 76 miles from San Diego.
We entered a town that appeared to be Mayberry, it was like a movie, both of us envisioned ourselves as the victims in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
The proprieter of the general store told us that the way we traveled was a short cut from San Diego to Palm Springs and that if we took the highway it would be a little over 2 hours but the mountainous route was 45 minutes. So we headed back the way we came, and went back into the storm and terrifying curves of the moutains. The drive was longer than 45 minutes, but perhaps because San Diego residents drive 100 at all times, it would be 45 minutes to them. If I had a picture you might be scared of the road we traveled. We were so close to the edge of the cliff, and looking down the rocky mountains, was the most frightening sensation I know.
On our way back to Palm Springs we drove through the arc of a rainbow. That was a awe inspiring experience. We were able to see where it began and ended and went underneath it. That must mean some sort of blessing on our lives.
Strangest thing about the route we took is that is was very well traveled, There was a constant stream of cars, speeding as if the rain and muddy roads didn't exist.
MY GUY
The fella and I are still together. We are still alive, he and I almost died, not from discovering that we were incompatible but from Nicole induced drama. But I won't get all mushy and detailed on my blog, but there really must be someone for everyone because he remains patient and rational throughout all the drama I bring, even when I have dramaed myself out.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
A letter 2 Love...
Dear Love,
You are a tough nut to crack. I don't really understand you. It doesn't seem like anyone does. Lots of folks doubt you exist. Lots of folks search for you endlessly. Others are counting down the days until you disappear.
Sir Love, what is it about you that creates such strong emotion? Fear, happiness, joy, pain, you bring it all. Why do you have this effect on people? Is it because YOU are a four-letter word?
Everyone seems to want you. Some are jealous of you, some mistrust and some acknowledge their need for you. Love you've been very busy, everyone seems to have a story about you.
Love are you so powerful that you can really last forever and another day? That's what Stevie said. People make promises to take care of you, and keep you forever. Do some make that promise with the knowledge they won't keep it? do some really intend to keep it only to later realize you weren't there? Love do you really leave people? I can.not. believe that you would do that. I think if you come, you are permanent.
I am a firm believer in you Sir Love. I know there are those that pretend to be you, like Mr. Infatuation or even Desperation. They are dangerous and they know how to emulate you so well. I think they are the reasons people question your existence. They were fooled by the tions. Sir Love I think you are apparent and honest, and I think when you are there, you can't be denied.
Love are you aware that some folks use your name for power? It's awful but some use you to get sex, money, control.
I sigh because I respect you love, I was raised with you, taken care of because of you, had friends because of you, changed for the better by you, with the goal to always be better for you.
Love I think you are eternal, be you familial, romantic, friend or whatever, the memory of you extends past the life of those who possessed you. I want you and I to last through forever and another day.
You are a tough nut to crack. I don't really understand you. It doesn't seem like anyone does. Lots of folks doubt you exist. Lots of folks search for you endlessly. Others are counting down the days until you disappear.
Sir Love, what is it about you that creates such strong emotion? Fear, happiness, joy, pain, you bring it all. Why do you have this effect on people? Is it because YOU are a four-letter word?
Everyone seems to want you. Some are jealous of you, some mistrust and some acknowledge their need for you. Love you've been very busy, everyone seems to have a story about you.
Love are you so powerful that you can really last forever and another day? That's what Stevie said. People make promises to take care of you, and keep you forever. Do some make that promise with the knowledge they won't keep it? do some really intend to keep it only to later realize you weren't there? Love do you really leave people? I can.not. believe that you would do that. I think if you come, you are permanent.
I am a firm believer in you Sir Love. I know there are those that pretend to be you, like Mr. Infatuation or even Desperation. They are dangerous and they know how to emulate you so well. I think they are the reasons people question your existence. They were fooled by the tions. Sir Love I think you are apparent and honest, and I think when you are there, you can't be denied.
Love are you aware that some folks use your name for power? It's awful but some use you to get sex, money, control.
I sigh because I respect you love, I was raised with you, taken care of because of you, had friends because of you, changed for the better by you, with the goal to always be better for you.
Love I think you are eternal, be you familial, romantic, friend or whatever, the memory of you extends past the life of those who possessed you. I want you and I to last through forever and another day.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Street Life
My mother and I were on our way to a 3 p.m. Sunday church service. She was the musican for one of the guest choirs. So we arrived about 3:30. The church is in a high crime part of town. But it's Sunday afternoon and most violence tends to occur at night.
We parked our car, got out and proceeded toward the church. All of a sudden there is a *!?*! crash. We look and notice a car accident, a woman is sitting in the car that got hit. She wasn't doing too much moving, but visually the accident wasn't that bad. I can't remember what happened to the car that hit the woman, but perhaps he was also stalled.
So my mother hurries over to the car. I quickly survey the situation and advise her not to go. She looks at me like I'm crazy and says, "this woman may need help. I want to make sure none of these guys steal her purse." So she saw the guys and thought thief, I saw the guys and got another feeling. I walked slowly in the opposite direction and yelled for her to come on.
As soon as she got to the car, this big ni**a, swerves and jumps out of his car and starts yelling at another guy that is standing around. I'm thinking the guy that just pulled up must be the son of the woman that got hit and wants to fight the guy that caused the accident.
So when I saw this guy swerve and make that ghetto stop, I began to run and made one last yell for my mother to come on. At the point I began to run about 30 feet seperate me from my mother.
The guy he is after is running right behind me. I never looked around but I knew the guy that was doing the chasing had a large gun. Don't ask me how I knew, but probably from the way the crowd around him took off when he jumped out the car.
But I could almost feel the gun shots hitting me. (although no shots were fired) I was praying the guy he was after would cross the street, so I wouldn't get caught in the cross fire.
When the gunman had got out his car, the person who got the best look at his gun was my mother. She said it was huge. If you ask her she'll describe it for you.
So when my mother saw the gun she also took off running. Now recall I said when I started running she was about 30 feet distant from me? Well she ran past the guy with the gun,past the guy he was chasing and past me.
When we got to the church lot, the kids at the church who happened to see the whole thing said "Sis Bonnie, we didn't know you could run like that."
So I turned into the church lot barefoot. I had run out of my clogs.
So my mother told me to go inside and call the police. All I could do was collapse when I got inside. I called them but I could barely speak.
The pastor went out and got my shoes and brought them to me as I laid on the floor of the church office. I was on the floor because I imagined gunfire whizzing past my head.
When I saw my mother again, I told her, "I told you not to go over there." I also told her that she should have went the way everyone else ran, instead of running with the gunman.
But for about 3 weeks before this incident my mother had had a kink in her back that wouldn't go away. She could barely wear heels. As a matter of fact on that very day she was walking tender like because the pain of the kink. But since the day of the run, which is over 5 years ago, she hasn't had that problem with her back again.
We parked our car, got out and proceeded toward the church. All of a sudden there is a *!?*! crash. We look and notice a car accident, a woman is sitting in the car that got hit. She wasn't doing too much moving, but visually the accident wasn't that bad. I can't remember what happened to the car that hit the woman, but perhaps he was also stalled.
So my mother hurries over to the car. I quickly survey the situation and advise her not to go. She looks at me like I'm crazy and says, "this woman may need help. I want to make sure none of these guys steal her purse." So she saw the guys and thought thief, I saw the guys and got another feeling. I walked slowly in the opposite direction and yelled for her to come on.
As soon as she got to the car, this big ni**a, swerves and jumps out of his car and starts yelling at another guy that is standing around. I'm thinking the guy that just pulled up must be the son of the woman that got hit and wants to fight the guy that caused the accident.
So when I saw this guy swerve and make that ghetto stop, I began to run and made one last yell for my mother to come on. At the point I began to run about 30 feet seperate me from my mother.
The guy he is after is running right behind me. I never looked around but I knew the guy that was doing the chasing had a large gun. Don't ask me how I knew, but probably from the way the crowd around him took off when he jumped out the car.
But I could almost feel the gun shots hitting me. (although no shots were fired) I was praying the guy he was after would cross the street, so I wouldn't get caught in the cross fire.
When the gunman had got out his car, the person who got the best look at his gun was my mother. She said it was huge. If you ask her she'll describe it for you.
So when my mother saw the gun she also took off running. Now recall I said when I started running she was about 30 feet distant from me? Well she ran past the guy with the gun,past the guy he was chasing and past me.
When we got to the church lot, the kids at the church who happened to see the whole thing said "Sis Bonnie, we didn't know you could run like that."
So I turned into the church lot barefoot. I had run out of my clogs.
So my mother told me to go inside and call the police. All I could do was collapse when I got inside. I called them but I could barely speak.
The pastor went out and got my shoes and brought them to me as I laid on the floor of the church office. I was on the floor because I imagined gunfire whizzing past my head.
When I saw my mother again, I told her, "I told you not to go over there." I also told her that she should have went the way everyone else ran, instead of running with the gunman.
But for about 3 weeks before this incident my mother had had a kink in her back that wouldn't go away. She could barely wear heels. As a matter of fact on that very day she was walking tender like because the pain of the kink. But since the day of the run, which is over 5 years ago, she hasn't had that problem with her back again.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
The battle is not yours. That simple statement says so much. Once we stop fighting our own battles things get so much better. I mean there are some things that you can handle on you own, but there is so much other stuff that lacks any impact and just serves to upset us. So why battle? Usually when the battle is done, we don’t feel any better, we just have a story about how petty we behaved.
I’m trying not to let the inconsequential things upset me because 1.) that’s what the other person wants, or 2). that’s not what they want and they are just socially inept and mean no harm. or 3). they just have an mean personality. In either situation getting upset is foolish and perhaps harmful.
Momentarily things may still get me, perhaps that’s just my nature but once I think about it, I realize, “it ain’t that serious.”
Once I was in a deposition and my client got crazy with the opposing counsel. That woman got black. I had to ask for a break. The counsel took me outside and said “Nicole, you better talk to your client because if he wants to go there I will take it there. I don’t know how you deal with that man.”
I’m thinking, “your client is probably paying you $250+ an hour, let him act stupid.”
So I take my client outside and tell him to behave. He was giddy almost skipping. The fact that he was able to upset her, put him on a super high. After that he kept telling me that she couldn’t handle him.
Another work story is a white lawyer that practically cursed me out, outside of court. This was my first solo lawsuit and I was making multiple motions that required him to do extra work on short notice. For one of the motions, we were in the clerks office and he said “I had to stay up all night and spend my weekend responding to this crap, I don’t appreciate all the time I have to spend for this sh*t.” He said a whole lot more but I can’t recall the details.
I said “Don’t they pay you over at "High-Brow" law firm? What are you whining about, I’m helping your firm get billables.” (his client was an insurance company. If my client is an insurance company, please drag that thing out at make it last forever)
He replied “oh they pay me very well, but I bet you aren’t getting paid.” I just looked at him. I wasn’t getting paid, but I didn’t share that with him. I was representing the plaintiff on a contingency basis.
Anyway I realized that the man was stressed out so I kept giving him motions, and yes the settlement happened shortly thereafter. I did however bring my father to court each time after that, I felt the need for a male presence just in case the man went postal. But I didn’t let him know I was fearful of bodily harm or that I was totally shocked by his tone and comments.
Never let them see you sweat, in fact don’t sweat. It ain’t that serious.
I’m trying not to let the inconsequential things upset me because 1.) that’s what the other person wants, or 2). that’s not what they want and they are just socially inept and mean no harm. or 3). they just have an mean personality. In either situation getting upset is foolish and perhaps harmful.
Momentarily things may still get me, perhaps that’s just my nature but once I think about it, I realize, “it ain’t that serious.”
Once I was in a deposition and my client got crazy with the opposing counsel. That woman got black. I had to ask for a break. The counsel took me outside and said “Nicole, you better talk to your client because if he wants to go there I will take it there. I don’t know how you deal with that man.”
I’m thinking, “your client is probably paying you $250+ an hour, let him act stupid.”
So I take my client outside and tell him to behave. He was giddy almost skipping. The fact that he was able to upset her, put him on a super high. After that he kept telling me that she couldn’t handle him.
Another work story is a white lawyer that practically cursed me out, outside of court. This was my first solo lawsuit and I was making multiple motions that required him to do extra work on short notice. For one of the motions, we were in the clerks office and he said “I had to stay up all night and spend my weekend responding to this crap, I don’t appreciate all the time I have to spend for this sh*t.” He said a whole lot more but I can’t recall the details.
I said “Don’t they pay you over at "High-Brow" law firm? What are you whining about, I’m helping your firm get billables.” (his client was an insurance company. If my client is an insurance company, please drag that thing out at make it last forever)
He replied “oh they pay me very well, but I bet you aren’t getting paid.” I just looked at him. I wasn’t getting paid, but I didn’t share that with him. I was representing the plaintiff on a contingency basis.
Anyway I realized that the man was stressed out so I kept giving him motions, and yes the settlement happened shortly thereafter. I did however bring my father to court each time after that, I felt the need for a male presence just in case the man went postal. But I didn’t let him know I was fearful of bodily harm or that I was totally shocked by his tone and comments.
Never let them see you sweat, in fact don’t sweat. It ain’t that serious.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Answered Prayer
I didn't hear myself pray
But I guess he really does know the heart
An inner yearning so deep and suppressed even to the one in need
The prayer was answered
Without my assistance
Without my interference
Some things I have been given the strength to do
Every thing else I have turned over
I didn't realize I had turned this over
I knew I had let it go
He gave it back in a way better than my understanding
Positivity and love has been my gift
A gift greater than any I could have requested
or known to request
It's amazing what he'll do if we let him
I finally know what that means
But I guess he really does know the heart
An inner yearning so deep and suppressed even to the one in need
The prayer was answered
Without my assistance
Without my interference
Some things I have been given the strength to do
Every thing else I have turned over
I didn't realize I had turned this over
I knew I had let it go
He gave it back in a way better than my understanding
Positivity and love has been my gift
A gift greater than any I could have requested
or known to request
It's amazing what he'll do if we let him
I finally know what that means
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Note to Self
Are you tripping off the trivial sh*t?
Come on now how long does that crap last?
Were you briefly offended?
What the ****?
Move the **** on.
If you think about it, it's amusing
Laugh and I bet you'll catch on
The humour is.....it's silly
And if has no effect on your soul
They could even steal you life
But didn't you say you believed in God?
That's not the end
It only sped up the inevitable
It's unfortunate that you were mometarily caught off guard
But now you are on your guard
Knowledge is your power
The world isn't a horrible place
It's the place you let it be
If the joy is yours no one can steal it
No one can erase that inside smile
Mere words can be piercing
but don't let them harden your shell
Stay soft, someone needs it
Don't let the past control your present nor future
If you do, the person who did this to you wins
Do you really want such trifling behavior to change who you are?
Can you handle knowing that yout life, your love, you
has been reset by someone who never meant you any good?
Um, but you don't have to be stupid to be smart
Come on now how long does that crap last?
Were you briefly offended?
What the ****?
Move the **** on.
If you think about it, it's amusing
Laugh and I bet you'll catch on
The humour is.....it's silly
And if has no effect on your soul
They could even steal you life
But didn't you say you believed in God?
That's not the end
It only sped up the inevitable
It's unfortunate that you were mometarily caught off guard
But now you are on your guard
Knowledge is your power
The world isn't a horrible place
It's the place you let it be
If the joy is yours no one can steal it
No one can erase that inside smile
Mere words can be piercing
but don't let them harden your shell
Stay soft, someone needs it
Don't let the past control your present nor future
If you do, the person who did this to you wins
Do you really want such trifling behavior to change who you are?
Can you handle knowing that yout life, your love, you
has been reset by someone who never meant you any good?
Um, but you don't have to be stupid to be smart
Monday, January 03, 2005
Beautiful Day
Laid back and chill
Of course you can call
Intelligent with edge
Holla at your girl
Social yet private
Great mix
Name brand educated and still real
Yum
Modest with reason & room to brag
Thank you Lord for an unvain man
Loves his family in deed and word
A heart of gold
Attentive without the smother
A necessary balance
Proper etiquette and manly with it
Sexy
Beautiful dichotomy
A blend of spice with nice
A gentleman that can let the woman be strong
Whoa. Why are you single? Oh- you’re not.
Of course you can call
Intelligent with edge
Holla at your girl
Social yet private
Great mix
Name brand educated and still real
Yum
Modest with reason & room to brag
Thank you Lord for an unvain man
Loves his family in deed and word
A heart of gold
Attentive without the smother
A necessary balance
Proper etiquette and manly with it
Sexy
Beautiful dichotomy
A blend of spice with nice
A gentleman that can let the woman be strong
Whoa. Why are you single? Oh- you’re not.
