Nervous Nelly

The various things going on with my body are often confusing or surprising and sometimes frightening.

I can't tell if the baby is kicking me, adjusting itself or if I'm being pinched from the inside i.e. pain. My mom said baby movement doesn't hurt, its more of a tickle.

Tuesday night I think the baby was kicking, but the sensation was weird. Mr. A put his hand on the spot and could feel the hits.

Wednesday I tooka CPR class and learned infant CPR, it was great. We had a lunch break and Mr. A and I went to Jamba Juice. I began drinking my drink and felt like TR was protesting. When I was leaving class a couple of hours later, I started feeling pain in my right side. We stopped by Burger King and I felt better. On our way to Burger King I called my Dr. in L.A. and the nurse said if I'm feeling pain and am out of town I should go to ER. She also said if I was bleeding. I wasn't bleeding but I was hurting and it was a constant hurt so I went to ER. The length of the pain was maybe 8 minutes, but it didn't feel good and I was nervous of what was occuring.

We went to ER and waited for a while and I realized the hospital couldn't do anything for me anyway so I left. They don't even have an OB/GYN department there anymore, its now at the sister hospital in Berkeley. I would have liked an IV but I wasn't willing to wait hours for that. The hospital was having a busy time because the trauma hospital was diverting people. They had all types of codes and life threatening situations.

People use ER for their doctor and the system wasn't built for that. We also live in Oakland where people get shot and have major injuries on a regular basis. We're also the closet trauma center for folks in a bunch of nearby citites, so if the trauma center diverts people, it can create a mess. I digress.

The pain had ended before we got to the hospital and I was getting hungry as we waited.

When we get back to L.A. I have an appt with my doctor. I asked the nurse at ER if they could put the dopplar on me so I could hear TR's heartbeat. They didn't have that piece of equipment.

Being an unborn baby and an old person is tough. The medical community and lots of other people seem to think that your life is less valuable either because you haven't begun to "live" or because you've lived long enough.

I've read that unborn babies feel pain and will move away from the aminiocentis needle and even that during late term abortions they have been heard to cry, they have developed taste buds and recognize language. They know their moms voice at birth and recognize specific sentences they have heard their father repeat. The fact that they can't hold their head up and wear a diaper makes folks think they are barely there.

Babies are people too. Babies in the womb are people too.