Old Mama

My grandmother used to say and my mother agreed that women that had their first baby later in life tend to be overprotective and act as if the baby will break.

Now I know there are a lot of people who say having your kids young means you have less but both of my grandmothers were married and having kids at 19. Both lived in California and left inheritance and income for their grandchildren. You make yourself poor, not children. None of their offspring have to be homeless or move to cheaper areas because they left provisions.

My maternal family is having a reunion this summer and I mentioned to Mr. A that I might leave TR with my paternal aunt. I told him the baby would only be 2 months and people might try to pick baby up, not know how to hold the head and overwhelm the baby. Mr. A said if its warm he'd like the baby to come and people who don't know to hold a babies head wouldn't be picking baby up.

So I'm thinking that theory on older mamas is true. I'm going to do my best not to be that over the top mother but not ignore basic safety and mother instinct.

Even though I'll be an old momma, I'm not one who will claim that its better that I waited to have kids. I would have loved to be a young mother. I was asking my mother if she had a pregnancy as uncomfortable as mine and she said no. I figured she didn't otherwise she probably wouldn't have had 4 kids.

The unfortunate thing is that with educated black people deferring children into their infertility (I know they are waiting for marriage and once married income enough to allow them to be SAHM) my kids might have to go to another country to find a mate. Am I the only one that read the stats that have black folks as a single digit percentage of the population in the next 20 or so years?

Is it great that we are doing things so right that we aren't doing them at all?

Money and Marriage

I was randomly calculating numbers and realized that after taxes and retirement contributions (I added those in to reduce income and lower taxes) a couple that works and has a combined income of $160k a year isn't much better off financially than a couple with only one working spouse that makes 100k a year. Clearly I have too much time on my hands, but I read about that couple on S30's blog and started running numbers. I only calculated based on federal tax.

My calculations assumed the couples had similar expenses. Once children and child care enters, and depending on the cost of child care, you realize that the dual income couple may be losing money. Is working really worth it when your increase as a family is only 20k or so.


But that is boring stuff.


I had more but we're having family time, I need to join it.

update:

HERE I GO AGAIN

I told Mr A about my post. He disagrees with me. He'll have to guest appear on his position. His reading of this blog has decreased so who knows when he'll read and post. I think I have too many blogs for him to read them each regularly. I think we black folks need to work on populating the earth not allowing ourselves to become extinct. I also think we should be building wonderful families. I don't know what's happening that we aren't doing the family creation in large numbers.

I asked him who will our children marry and he said he prays they will marry a person raised by a well-balanced couple.

So I told Mr. A that maybe we can start meeting other parents so we can build a network of potential marriage candidates for our children. Mr. A's response made me suspect I'm acting like the old mother. I'm trying to marry off my unborn children. I will step away from the ledge- sorta. I still think its a good idea to make sure they mingle at an early age, but I won't push.