What I'm Wearing Today

I was up at 2 a.m. and decided to shower. I missed showering yesterday. Mr A has been at a training from 8 to 5, and its been just TR and me at home this week.

It's only Wednesday and I'm grateful Mr A works from home. I'm sure I could do this everyday but I'm grateful we are doing this together.

Laat night, he came home, got the car and headed out to get gas and a hair cut. I was passed out when he got home. Sure I could have gotten gas while he was gone, but I'm turning into one of those women. You know..... the ones who don't get their own fuel, and can't work the remote control like my 83 year old aunt. She's been married 60+ years and has never pumped gas. She doesn't even know how. Her husband gets her car, fills it up and returns it. He pays for her gas as well. I know some men (not Mr A) who require their wife to pay for her own gas, labelling it as her expense.

I disagree with that especially if she uses gas to buy groceries. Some men want to be head of household, but want to share expenses. If I made TR pay bills, she'd be justified in telling me since she supports herself financially or chips in, I am limited in what I can tell her. I'd of course warm a switch up and work on her tail, but she'd be reasonable to think what she said.

Anyway, I woke up the 2nd time around 6 a.m and put on workout shorts and a white t-shirt. TR had carrots for an early lunch and since she has picked up the habit of touching the spoon as it head towards her mouth, I'm wearing carrots. I could have changed but then when she spit up milk on me a couple of hours later I would have hsd to change again. I look like baby food smeared housewife.

TR is generous. When she's eating she'll put her hand in her mouth and then put it in my mouth. I don't know how to tell her that I appreciate her gesture of giving but am not a fan of baby food and certainly not baby food she's already eaten on.

My mother was feeding her and I looked at my mother and knew exactly what TR ate. My mother had dried apple sauce on her forehead. I just recently began feeing her by spoon, Mr A. had held that task. He is amazing. When he feeds her she doesn't need a bib or cloth. Everything ends up in her mouth. They have ettiquette conversations so perhaps that's why she dines very neatly with him.

In other things, I think she can read. She moves her eyes in the correct direction when I'm reading. She can also swim. We were in the bath last weeks and she arched her body into back float position, relaxed and proceeded to float, as I held her.

I later noticed her doing the doggy paddle. Mr A is a great swimmer, he's even trained in survival swimming and he'll give her formal instruction a little later. Maybe next summer.

I may be exaggerating on the reading but everything else is exactly as it has happened.

The Mommy Life

I'm thoroughly enjoying the mommy life. It has to be one of the best roles ever invented.

Yesterday TR and I took a trip to our banks. I considered putting her in her stroller and taking a nice walk but decided to drive so I could get home and have lunch.

As I got dressed and did my hair, I noticed her watching me. She usually lays on the bed as I get myself ready. I remember being a kid and lying on the bed watching my grandmother get dressed on Sunday mornings. My mother would be dressed or at least in her slip by the time we awoke, so I don't really remember her getting ready.

After I got dressed I put TR's clothes on. She wore her pink sweats, a white shirt with a ruffled collar and a green jacket. It got warm during our outing so she removed the jacket. Dressing her is pretty fun because she laughs, smiles and moves as we dress her. My brother was dressing her last week and he was laughing because she is so interactive.

Since she can hold her head I'm able to carry her around pretty easily, so we walked around the village to do our errands. We got home and hung out.

I enjoy her so much. What's also amazing is my new waking hours. I'm up and alert by 6 a.m most mornings, waiting for her to wake up. She sleeps well through- most nights but I'm still up waiting. If I get her when she starts moving around and holding her head up, she'll ususlly start out with a smile. She tries to give us time to get to her before she starts yelling.

She is up from her nap, streching, smiling, and surveying her environment. It's just great to watch her wake up. Babies grow, change and learn so fast and I'm enjoying this journey.

Pants on Fire

Liar, Liar.

I've concluded that some liars aren't actually lying to me, they are deluding themselves. They are interpreting reality in a way they need to deal with their set of facts. Their experiences might give us a different view on the same facts.

Two people can see the same picture and intrepret its meaning in totally different ways. Those two ways might be different from what the artist intended. I try to remind myself of this when I am told one thing but the facts would lead me to my own and different conclusion.

I'm sure there are things I say that might lead folks to think I exist in a different reality. Perception is reality. I watch the campaign and various commentary of it and often think republicans can't be real. They can't really think Palin is competent to be president. They have to think something is wrong with McCain for choosing her.

I do think waiting for the president to die is a great job for a mother with young kids. That's probably the best gig imaginable for a work from home mom.

By the by, TR's home state is neighbor to Mexico. In fact she could see Mexico and walk to it, if she were in San Diego. She is female. She is qualified to be V.P. nominee on the Republican ticket.

The next time I'm shaking my head exasperated about liars, yearning to call them out, I shall remember that perception is nine-tenths of reality.

Stay in Your Lane

I'd love to tell someone to stay in their lane but I'm not experiencing any conflicts. I'm a servant of God, wife, mother, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, business owner, thinker, nearly full time viewer of MSNBC election coverage and don't have the time to give to enemies or unfriendlies. Maybe someome will provide me with a brief opportunity to throw on my sassy coat, tilt my head and say, "stay in your lane." LOL. I can sooo see myself doing that.

I'm cheesing the cheesiest grin because I think Dawn and Q of making the Band are adorable. Ain't love grand? Isn't romance amazing? I AM a sucker for love.

Mr A made and gave me coupons for my birthday last year. The coupons included things like belly rubs (I was preggers and addicted to my belly rubs), breakfast in bed, various massage, instant forgiveness, romantic picnic, all day church event, etc. He basically made a book of things he knows I enjoy. Recently I had to turn in one of my instant forgiveness coupons. As soon as I handed it to him he laughed and smiled. I thought that was uber romantic, especially since I think no one should be mad at me for more than 5 minutes. I have one instant forgiveness left.

For the material centered folks, he also gave me other gifts. I was out of town that morning and when he picked me up at the airport he had the first gift sitting in the front seat with the coupons. At home was more gifts laid across our bed. I'll take a gift but the thought he put into it was the grandest part for me.

My sweetums still evokes that unexplainable thing in me. That thing that makes me know fairytale love is real, makes me acutely feel the strength of it emanating from the core of my body, not just my mind. I always knew it was real and would have been thoroughly single before I accepted anything other than my fairytale.

So often I thank God. When Mr A and I sit down to dinner and TR is sitting in her swing making her little baby noises I feel even more like we've been blessed with the (my) fairytale.

Anyway as I was watching Dawn and Q, my heart was smiling and I was smiling because I enjoy the love that is apparent in others. I appreciate that quiet love.

I did wonder why they let the camera men in. There have been many ocassions when I get lost in Mr A and tune everyone and everything out, but I don't know how that could happen if I walked in a room full of cameras.

Disclaimer: This is not intended to convey a message that fairytale love has some magical potion. Fairytale love is just part of our foundation.

In other things TR and I were in the airport and a woman stopped and asked her if that was her first flight. I laughed and told her it was more like her 5th or 6th. TR is a frequent traveller. I hate flying but she seems to love it.

Coupons

Today I used a coupon and yesterday I used a few coupons. I'm getting pretty good at the use of coupons. I enjoy seeing those savings on my reciept. The key for me is leaving the coupons in the car. Mr A and I are gaining mastery of the art of grocery shopping. Our schedule has fallen in sync with the recurring grocery sales.

I prefer Pavillons which is Safeway in the Bay Area. It's visually pleasing with nice warm colors. I also like Gelson's becaust its warm and doesn't feel at all like a grocery store. I rarely go to Gelson's. I'll go to Ralph's but I notice its usually crowded and has longer lines. I adore Trader Joe's and have never really shopped Whole Foods. I like to get local produce so I love Farmers Markets.

What I really love, although I'm too lazy to do it often, is the Santa Monica Farmer's Market. Imagine warm mornings, a beach breeze, calm air, blue skies, the ocean in eyes view and picking out farm fresh fruits and veggies. It feels almost unreal.

The A family is planning to do yoga Tuesday afternoon. TR seemed to enjoy herself and I think its important she get the stimulation and exercise. Yoga actually makes me want to take a nap, but its supposed to help a person stay youthful. I also like Bikram yoga, so maybe I'll hit one of those classes up too.

This has been so random.

Mommy & Baby (and daddy too)

The A family attended yoga today. I had the most fun during the baby yoga time. TR got wore out and though she struggled to remain awake she fell asleep a few moments after class ended.



The babies did streching exercises and this is the dance/rejoice time.
Mr A and TR have been doing this dance, I call it the 'flying carpet' at home. Her balance and his ability to keep her balanced are well-synced. Don't try this at home kids!

One of the actresses from Whi.te Chicks was in our class. I kept looking at her trying to figure out why she looked familiar. Her baby was 5 weeks. I'm sure she noticed me looking, I hope she doesn't think I'm a fan. There was another woman who laid down and her boobs stayed up. Her baby was 5 months and the woman had not a sliver of fat. She also wore a midriff top and yoga pants. I got distracted trying to figure out how she managed that. She also laid down on her side and breast fed. Because her boobs stayed so pert, she managed to do that feeding with extreme ease.

Mommy Wars

As a work from home mommy, I consider myself to be outside the mommy wars. I likely wouldn't engage in the warfare if I worked outside the home or if I was a SAHM. I do think kids benefit from day care but my mother said kids like to relax in their own home. When we were kids and before my mother became a SAHM, we had a woman come to our house to take care of us. Nowadays, they would call that a nanny but back then, it was called 'a woman who came to our house to take care of the kids.'

That's sorta like people in Beverly Hills have 'guest houses' but the folks in Compton have back 'houses.' It really is the same thing, both have kitchens, bathrooms, and bedrooms. Or maybe its like how the Rodeo in Beverly Hills is pronounced Rho-day-O, but the Rodeo off Crenshaw is pronouced Row- Dee- O.

I digress. Since TR doesn't have the opportunities day care offers my goal is to provide her with similiar options. She'll do yoga for exercise, I found a music workshop for infants and the next session starts next month, I located a Spanish for babies and a few other interesting things. While these activities provide exposure to different things, mommy needs to get out the house on a more regular basis and that's more of a driving force than anything else.

I'm distracted now and don't feel like re-reading. Have a lovely weekend.

Alaska's Largest Rally

Women against Palin. 1400 people came out.

http://bigshow.bigfolio.com/?s=000011662&t=0e6a8ae03101be65098418ccb735e4a1

Dancing Machine

TR and I got back to L.A. on Sunday night. TR is a great passenger. So far on every flight she has fallen asleep right before take off and if she wakes up during the flight, she'll fall asleep before the descent could make her ears pop. She's usually awake when we touch down. So far flying with her has worked out great.

She was asleep when we arrived at the airport in L.A. Later that night Mr A was getting her ready for bed and when she awoke, she saw him, looked at him in slight surprise and she started dancing. Literally dancing and laughing. She had one leg moving up and down and one arm moving with her leg movements. I saw all of Mr A's teeth and all of TR's gums. They were very happy to see each other. We were in Oakland for 4 days, and it seems she was missing her daddy.

Had I known she was going to do all that, I would have had my camera ready.

Mr A told me to be sure that I blog about TR's enjoyment of football. I don't know how it happened but whenever the sport is on t.v. or when we're at a game, she is engaged. If we turn the t.v. from football she'll either holler or turn from the t.v.

In other things it appears TR's bank is on the brink of failure. My mother just recently opened the account for her. When TR is an old woman she'll be able to tell her grandbabies that she went to the polling station to vote for Obama and that her first bank account failed, and she wasn't even a year old. She's living an amazing part of history.

So Muuuuuch

I've been quite busy, so busy that its too much to blog about. I've been enjoying myself.

I don't practice criminal law but- as a favor or at annoying levels of arm twisting- I'll be Johnetta Cochran. I explain that the odds might be better with a public defender over me - a civil attorney. I think if folks want to commit crimes they need to keep a legal defense fund.

I won my first criminal trial which was also my first jury trial 2 years ago. A few of the jurors were crying and most came to hug and congratulate my client afterwards. I'm pretty good with the spoken word- if I must say so myself.

This most recent criminal matter was dismissed. I've advised the client that I'm done. Any more criminal matters will be handled without my assistance. Hopefully he'll pay me the remainder of my money and stay out of trouble.

Hopefully people will stay out of trouble so I can focus on the work I enjoy, representing the kiddies. Having folks freedom attached to my work is not fun.

TR spent much of the week with my mom. I was working so hard I barely got to hold her. I think I prefer a week or two of a hectic work schedule and a few months of down time. The up time gets my blood pumping and I enjoy the fruits during the down times.

On Saturday my chapter went to see The Familly that Preys and then to lunch. We skipped the movie and did lunch. It was so much fun. Sisterly activities is major highlight of sorority involvement. I keep missing events put on here in L.A. but one day, I'll make one.

On Friday my mom, TR and I went to Stockton (about 80 miles from Oakland) for a funeral. Prior to the service we went to breakfast. At the restaurant, I discovered where many of the working class Oakland blacks had gone. It was amazing. Black people are so mobile. I don't know if that's always a good thing, since a lot of the migration is to locate a cheaper cost of living.

Stockton is also an area with an extremely high rate of foreclosure. Even though people moved there for cheaper living, it apparently wasn't cheap enough. It must be awful to lose a home in the middle of what used to be orchards and pastures. Farmland had to die so cheap -and now empty- mcmansions could be built. Now we all have to pay more for produce because it has to be transported further.

I wonder where the people who have to move, move to? I also wonder if black people are the biggest victims of this? We always get in at the end of pyramid schemes. I know that the areas in CA with the highest foreclosures, such as Stockton and Riverside County are also the areas where the black people were moving to.

stuff

mr a and i are at a h.s. football game. watching the kids has made me fondly reflect on my h.s. years. it has also made me realize how fat kids are these days. i remember only one chunky cheerleaderr the entire time i was in school. everyone else was slender, no skinnies either. by chunky i mean she had rolls and meat on her frame. i saw a pic of her last week and she was obese. she's also living in the south so maybe she might do a'ight.
anyway..... on this squad the meaty/roll girls outweigh the average. the 2 slim girls consist of a blond and an asian. everyone else is latina. i've read that black women may all be obese fairly soon. i blame the terms bigboned and thick for this. as for the latinos, i think they may be hitting 90% obese by the end of next week.

when tr starts going to h.s. games i'll be sure to deliver decent snacks to she and her friends. these kids are here buying pizza hut pizza, snicker bars
and soda.

there are lots of young couples in our neighborhood. i think there must be fertility juice in the water because there are a good number of babies. its more like 1-2 per couple not 3-4 per home. our neighbor has a baby who just turned one. she and i and our daughters, went on a walk around the neighborhood. it was fun. we both want to maintain figures. if i i fall apart i hope its after 55. i want to be the attractive mommy even if i'm an old one. at a minimum i'd like to be fit 'till my kids are out of college.

the neighjbor also pays 125 a week for child care at a family day care and told me that's low. she also had a latina lady who would come to her home for 160. but unless i'm home to supervise i'd want a real caregiver. i'm glad i work from home.

whats weird is now that i live in a neighborhood where so many neighbors walk i think its odd to live somewhere where the neighbors don"t get out. we may have to move to berkeley when we transition because that's a city that has areas similiar to our l.a. neighborhood.

i have a pic, i have to figure out how to upload. the high school is in a pretty nice location

Messy

I've been involved in government matters since my teen years.

A few years ago Oakland elected a mayor and I knew the city would experience turmoil. I blogged about it. I'll have to find the link. Here it is!

Under the current mayor, Oakland now has 1) folks robbing folks of their laptops in public places like restaurants and on Bart and 2) robbers going to the 'nice' areas and taking over restaurants and robbing people. The robbers don't even bother putting masks on, they know Oakland Police won't be looking for them.

I'm convinced this awful mayor was elected because the strongest othy er candidate was Mexican. The Mexican candidate is great and committed to the city. I was walking in support of the Mexican mayor and people expressed the fear that if he was electerd the Mexicans would prosper.

People are okay to suffer, to prevent another group/person from prospering.

I hope this doesn't happen in our presidential election. I was watching CNN's Campbell Brown interview some man named Tucker. Instead of him answering her questions he just continued to beat the point that Palin has more experience than Obama. Did McCain really pick her just so he could jump back on the experience topic.

It seems republicans primary concern is controlling the lives of others. No abortion, no gay marriage, no sex ed. God has granted us free will, but I guess the republicans think they are bigger than God because they want to take free will away.

I have to watch as Oakland tanks. I hope the hate people hold won't mean I have to watch as the country tanks- further than where Bush has tanked it.

I'm frustrated by the madness and will be purging my mind of the mess. It's all too confusing. I'll just remain prayerful and believe God hears.

Unlike some of the republicans I won't be praying that torrential rains interrupt the lives of anyone.

Edit: After reading that old post I'm now inspired to post about the corruption. How the city manager and apparently a few other city people, were interfering in police investigations and arrests of their drug dealing, organized crime operating relatives.

Lies, Deceit, Cover-Ups- Palin is the grandma

We've had enough lies, deceit and cover-ups with Bush and Cheney administration.


Palin seems equipped to continue the deceit.


Palin was in Texas delivering the keynote speech at an energy conference when she says she went into early labor to her special needs child. Instead of going to a hospital she hopped a flight from Texas to Alaska. That flight would be about 6 hours.

The rule of thumb is, each child you give birth to, comes faster than the last. After 4 kids baby number 5 should have popped out. She got on a flight and none of the airline personnel were aware she was pregnant or in labor.

Then she goes back to work 3 days after giving birth.

http://www.adn.com/626/story/382864.html


This all sounds bizarre. It makes more sense if Palin is covering up and pretending the babe is hers when it is really her 16 year old daughters.

We are no longer in the 40's/50's. What is the point of the lies? Is this just something the non-sex having pro-life folks do? If its true we'll know for sure that McCain is an idiot. He didn't even take time to google the woman. If you google her, you will find that these questions have existed since April 2008.

TR for VICE PRESIDENT

We used to joke that TR was going to be Obama's running mate.

With the pick of Palin, I now realize that I should have given TR's name to McCain. She's a proven fighter, a change agent. Being born isn't easy. You have to be the one sperm out of the masses to reach the egg. You have to survive as your mommie's natural body chemistry attempts to destroy you. She has changed a lot since moving in with us, she's added hours of fun.

The only difference bewteen TR and Palin is TR probably would have turned the position down. Although she could appeal to women and the youth vote, she'd likely tell McCain it would be unfair to leave the country in the hands of someone unprepared to run a country.

I won't be voting for McCain but if he happened to win, is it really fair to put Palin in charge of the country he says he puts first. Everyone better get their 5 million together and bank it overseas.

Ick on Solange

I'm sure its hard being straight up and down skinny when your sister is curvy Beyonce. But being rude for no reason and lacking the skills to be rude while still coming off as sweet shows she needs Papa Knowles to train her in media savvy.

Check out "Solange's Akward Moment" http://www.fox5vegas.com/video/17313509/index.html

By the By, she called Jay Z her brother-in-law. Was she trying to give their 'secret' away?

Let Us Pray- My Confessions

I need to better with discipline. Discpline is key. At church Sunday, a visiting minister said "Destiny requires discipline."

I have a vision of my Bel Air home and discipline is the only thing that has prevented me from already owning it.

I don't believe there is anything I (or anyone else) can't achieve, its a matter of being willing to go after it and going after it with diligence.

My brother recently got the permits and approvals he needed to start a particular business. Everyone- including the folks who have to issue the approvals- has been quite surprised by how smoothly he went through the process. It usually takes folks a few years to get through. He is diligent and disciplined as a habit and got through each phase in under the timelines. This is also a business where lots of folks finish the process than lose their licenses because they don't remain disciplined.

I think my being the youngest affected my discipline. My mom is exceedingly discplined and organized. She is on top of everything. My sister is disciplined and organized. My brother does go on hiatus every now and again but he works so hard doing his up times that things don't fall apart when he shuts down. My father is disciplined in regards to certain things, most specifically his health. He eats healthy, works out and keeps active.

I think my lack of discipline is more about birth order. The youngest sorta floats.

I too can be disciplined. I'm not, but I can be.

While I could and want to hold TR all day, I want her to learn discipline through my example. Mr A is super duper disciplined but I don't want her to associate discipline as solely a man quality . One thing I realize about being disciplined is the people who have it, make the job they are doing look easy. Folks will want what they have and not realize they are actually consistent in keeping it easy.

My mom used to work at a school and she made her job look super easy. One of the young teachers went back to school and got a Masters so she could get the job my mom had. She was actually plotting. My mother was offered another position at a different school, which she gladly took and the young teacher became the resource specialist.

After a few months the older teachers told my mom that the young teacher was overwhelmed in that position. Her case load was huge and it was hugely time consuming. That young teacher didn't know that if my mom can't sleep, she doesn't lay there wishing for sleep. She gets up and does something that needs to be done. She didn't percieve her job to be 8:30 to 2:45. She didn't put anything off. She'd work from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. without complaint. She was organized, disciplined and diligent.

She never looks at anyone else and complains about what they aren't doing, she'll just do it and keep moving. I've never heard her blame anyone for why something didn't get done. She will figure out a way to make it happen. My brother is the same way.

That is discipline. That is how I'm going to be. Self-disciplined. When you are disciplined you don't have to suffer the consequences of a lack of discipline.

What are we praying for? No, not that I'll be disciplined. I know God has given me the strength to do it. It's on me to do it. We're praying that these folks quit acting silly and stingy and this case settles for a huge amount, and I can move on with my life.

Crack Wacks

I'd like to send my thanks once again to my dear cousin who shared this laugh with me.

Apparently Jo Jo, crack and concert tours don't mix well.

Hillarious!!!!!


Hurry, you know how folks like to demand the funniest stuff be removed.

Man Shortage

I now know why Atlanta is experiencing a man shortage.

Some women apparently have a husband, a boyfriend and "company".
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/08/22/boyfriend_confronts_couple.html?imw=Y

The Next Time..........

I have $1000 to burn, this is where I will be. Then I'll take myself to lunch. The total will probably be @$600, but I need $1000 to burn because I like to have money left over.

http://www.damoneroberts.com

I'll let an ar-tist go at my brows.


http://www.warrentricomi.com.

I want a great cut.

Domestic Designs

One of my desires is to be a domestic (looking for any word other than Diva, why are folks who label themselve diva generally uncute?) ...................... powerhouse.

Last night I made shrimp and sausage jambalya from scratch. Zatarains mix stayed on the shelf. For dessert I made Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Pie. I even made us a late lunch. I'm doing quite well in my homemaker goals. Mr A loved everything I made.

My ultimate goal is to be the mommy that prepares breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for her kids. When we were kids we only ate out on Saturdays, after events, and never fast food. My grandmother loved to cook and and my mother always had something prepared for us.

I know we had fast food chains as children, but for some reason it seemed like folks had more time back then. Maybe its because my mom and grandmothers were stay at home folks. I look at kids now and they are always in a rush. Eating in the car and running busy lives.

When we were in Jr. High, my mom would make us sandwiches to eat on our way to our afterschool piano lessons. Other than that, when we were out, we'd stop at a park and have a little picnic. She seemed to have so much time, just for us kids.

My grandmothers always had full meals with left overs prepared everyday, except Saturday. Now wives- including me- are bringing home food to feed the family. Is there r eally less time? Are we just worse at managing it? What the heck is going on?

I also want to be great at keeping the family organized. My mom said kids like structure so I'm sure that's why she was so together raising stairstep kids. Being a classroom teacher to 30 kids prior to having her own probably gave her invaluable experience in organizing us.

I want to give my child(ren) the type of childhood I had.

Before TR arrived, I had visions of my baby in the back of the car, in her car seat, kicking her feet and making baby noises. I also envisioned the baby in sunglasses- I have yet to find a pair for her. Now I envision her with her a sippy cut, dropping crumbs and saying baby words. I envision her and our other children having conversations and me chuckling at how kids operate. I envision all this happening in our Bel Air and Oakland Hills home.

Mr A and I have concluded that we're going to live in both cities.

These are my domestic and family designs.

Laboring

S30's posts inspired me to pick up a formal prayer journal. I've had it nearly a month and have yet to write. Rome wasn't built in a day. I used to write in my 'faith book' but it was nothing major. It had things like monthly facials. At over $100 for a service, plus plane ticket, car rental and hotel- it took faith to believe I could keep that up.

I think writing my prayers and then reviewing them will be a great thing. Most things are a process it's sorta easy to forget where you started from.

S3o posted something today that also inspired me. Something like labor is intense but you know you are about to deliver.

I've been dreading starting back to work and having to get back on this time intensive case. The other party wants to settle but I haven't even been willing to call to get on that. I will do it today.

Thanks S30!!

Mommy Leave

I've been enjoying my time off so much that I don't want to return to work life.

I stopped working for about 9 months starting a little before Mr A and I got married, after a few months I wante to exercise the brain cells beyond dinner preparations.

I can hold TR all day so this time off is much different. I've decided to work 3 days a week, which includes a 1/2 day of work on Friday. I might have Saturday hours as well. That schedule will leave no time for slacking.

I've had my work on hold since mid-April. I'm scheduled to retun in September. In my mid-twenties mode of thinking, I'd be back at work already but 1) if I was dead folks would move on like I'd never lived and 2) TR is my top priority child now. I luvvs the kiddies, but I've got my own now.

Fortunately I can make most of my appearances by phone, so I can stay home. But the mental seperation will be trying.

I thing being a mom is going to make me rougher and less inclined to BS. That's a good thing.

Live and Let Die- an ode to old wives

I get a lot of folks who come to my blog via a search on 'old mammas.' When I was a kid my grandmother and mother informed me that folks who have their first baby when old are generally overprotective and act as if their baby will break. They can sometimes act as if they are the first woman in the universe to have a child.

My aunt is raising her grandchild because her daughter passed said, you can tell the difference because the young mothers take their babies into the world earlier.

This post is about women who wed when old. I was also an older bride. Old brides can be the worst. A proposal and 4 days of marriage can often make them believe they are a relationship expert. If you ask them why if they know so much they were single so long- after they curse you out they will explain they had not met one they were compatible with.

Yet in the breath before that, they tell other women they are single because they are broken, don't know how to recoginze, get or keep a good man.

Get it? They were old brides because they were choosy, but you are single because you aren't
fab and well-adjusted like they are. Either way you lose they win.

Then some old brides will beat the word and variations of the word husband bloody. They forget you knew their hubby name before he was husband. He lost it, because she needs her M.R.S. to be acknowledged.

That's as dumb as me calling myself doctor 'cause I have a doctorate, if someone needs medical attention, my title means 0 to them. Just like folks M.R.S. means 0 to anyone other than their mate.

What the hades I care about someone's opinion on marriage? I don't own any stock in the general institution. I don't need others to desire it to validate me. Heck they'll probably be more same sex marriages in CA than opposite. I'm not offended by how folks choose to configure their stuff. How am I personally affected if people think marriage is .......... whatever they think it is. It's all ego.

Antyway, these are just my random observations. I try not to be that annoying know it all and let folks live and let my opinion (cuz everyone has one) die. I'm about to make lunch for me and my husband( pronounced huz-band, please elongate the z)

Stuff

I try to post about other stuff.

Then- just like now- I look at my baby strech in her sleep and its curtains for any other thoughts.

I listen to her make her cooing sounds and its a mommy post. Then she wakes up and it sit her on my knees and she looks at me and moves her mouth, (I think in imitation of my mouth) as I'm talking to her and that's how I want to spend my day. She smiles and laughs, even if its sometimes gas, and I feel like I won a billion dollars. I would say a million but ya'll know a billion is the new black.

HighLife

Mr A and I went to Oakland on Friday. His fantasy football league met in Sac on Saturday, so TR and I got to spend time with my mom and siblings. Mr A's fantasy league friends are the same guys from his yearly ski trip. The same group he was skiing with when we met.

I had planned to give TR a bath before we left home but that didn't work out. On Saturday I told my mom she needed a bath and asked if she had a tub we could use. Solution: my mom helped me take a bath with TR. She brought her in once I was situated and got her out when TR was squeaky clean. That bath was so much fun. That was living the high life. TR got to play in the water and she seemed to enjoy herself too. She loves bath time.

Once TR got out, I made the water piping hot and got some nice relaxation time.

We're that family that comes together after church every Sunday for dinner. After dinner my brother and I decided to venture over to the home of my mom's newest neighbor. Her former neighbor died and the new folks bought last month. They were having a housewarming and had a fire truck parked at the house. After the truck was there an hour I figured the new owner must be a fireman.

The new neighbors are a cute young couple. She a nurse and he a fireman. There were lots of young fireman and about 3 young women. Perhaps they'll get married and have kids soon, then TR will have a playmate when she visits her grandma.

First of All...... I'm The Bomb

I am the bomb- I know this and am not scared to acknowledge this, but I also love the part of Brandy's song where she sings those words. Check it out, its linked on the side, Then she goes through the numbers on the 'LIST'. CUTE!!

I've been a Brandy fan since watching her first video on 'The Box". Whatever happened to the Box? I loved that channel. I just read the wiki snippet. MTV/Viacom bought the box. Smart move because I quit watching MTV once the box started. Box was real music all the time. MTV was falling off even in the 90's. I remember the Box had interviews with TLC, College Boyz and other groups before the overcontrolled radio and music t.v. got them. Those first interviews would be so very different than when MTV got them.

Thank goodness for the internet. Once again real artists can get out there. We're no longer stuck with just the artists labels and radio decide to force on us.
You gotta go to youtube and check out the videos by souljaboy and ice-t, on their beef. They are both idiots. Its evident that the beats are what sells, much of the music lyrics are a waste of pen to paper. Victimizing trees- needlessly.

For Rich or Richer

Shaunie and Shaq are on the mend.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/state/content/gen/ap/BKN_ONeal_Divorce.html

Some folks just need a little distance to recognize what's up. Get it together!!

Girls Day Out

TR, our borrow child-girl and I had girls day starting Tuesday.

Mr A picked up his goddaughter on Tuesday and we proceeded to hang out.

One of our events included some time at Kenneth Hahn Park. This is a cute park and the idea is great. However, I'm from Oakland- land of the Oak, and am used to natural parks, mountains and real redwood forests and oak trees. We are blessed to have the Bay and the Mountains within eye sight of each other. The bay breeze and the trees helps it remain cooler in the mountains, making outdoor activity more pleasurable. I'm sure developers will destroy it in the next 20 years but I grew up with that. The Kenneth Hahn park was a cute man-made take on a real park, and I tried not to turn my nose up.

Us girls walked along the manmade stream and waterfall. It's quite lovely visually. The only problem was the litter bug people. We didn't get as far as the man made lake.

The goal of being at the Park, was to attend a Mocha Mom meeting. That goal will have to be fulfilled another day.

We spent two days at American Girl Place. Our borrow child loved that place- it was her first time going. I love it too. Mr A wanted to buy her a doll last Christmas but I told him those dolls would be to expensive for her mother to maintain.

I told my own mother that I want her to take TR (when she is older) and me there for high tea. When I explained the whole concept to my mother, especially the doll hospital, pricey hair salon, and a restaurant that provides chairs and place settings for the dolls she asked me if I was in Beverly Hills. She liked it and said she would come.

We hit the Grove before 2 p.m on Wednesday and I figured that would be a good time. It was not, the place was packed. On Tuesday we were there closer to 5 and it was fairly quiet. One of the best things about my work schedule is being able to avoid after work crowds, however it seems like everybody is on the same work schedule at the spots I like to frequent, so I'm still battling for parking spaces and such.

I had a fun day hanging with the girls and doing girl stuff. I had a baby and a 10 year old. That's a great mixture. The 10 year old was a great help and made transporting the babe much easier.

Westside Insulation

I think I posted about my opposition to the city of L.A. banning fast food chains in certain areas of the city. Well yesterday at church my eyes were assaulted and I realized how the ban might be beneficial. I am no longer opposed.

On Friday I met up with Marvelous Mwabi- who was here visiting from KY. We journeyed to a cute little area in L.A. and had a Jamba Juice. We stopped in Pinkberry but I'm only willing to eat there if I have a coupon.

I remember yogurt shops were popular when I was a kid. They disappeared but just like the 80's fashion, they are making a comeback. Unlike the yogurt spots of my childhood, the Pink.berry prices are ridiculous, especially considering how small the fruit is. A shaved ice is $7.25.

TR and I enjoyed spending the afternoon with Mrs. Mwabi. Heyyyyy Mwabi.

On Saturday we hosted another bar-b-que. The turn out was good but we still have meat for days. Mr A started preparing his bbq sauce on Friday and it was a major hit.

TR was invited to her first party so before she and I went to our own q, we went to the 1st birthday celebration of our neighbor. TR slept through it but I had a nice time. The cupcakes were fantastic. I realize I'm not the youngest mom but those moms were even longer in tooth. It appears we won't be the oldest parents dropping our kids off at kindergarten.

Life on the Westside is so different. I witnessed two women comparing their boob jobs and looking at the lines where the doctors cut. These two women were married, in their 40's and had kids around 9.

As we were leaving church on Sunday, the woman sitting next to Mr A, told me I had a fine baby. I guess she appreciated the lack of crying. TR gave one little scream but that was all. After church we attempted to visit our borrow children. They weren't home.

We stopped by the borrow kids grandmothers house and she proceeded to inform me that the fat of bearing children would hit me when I got older. She told me I'd gotten hippy. I've always had hips, and a trunk of junk. Then she told me I had a bit of a tummy. I didn't point out that she was holding my infant which would explain my bit of tummy.

Thank goodness I'm not self conscience or of thin skin. I just think she was peeved that she couldn't look at me and say 'wow' you fell apart like my daughters did.'

My Life in the Sunshine

California Sunshine that is.

I don't want your life. I'm loving the one I'm living. I have total control (as strengthed by God) over my life. So if I thought your life was so worthy of having I'd get out my xerox and copy it.

Everynow and again I'll discuss with one of my California born and bred folks about how we'd hate to live somewhere else. Else does not including NYC, Paris, Tokyo, type places. We'll discuss the few folks who moved hollering about the hig cost of living and an inability to get A, B or C done. Ironically they usually go wherever they go and still live regular lives. Basically we wouldn't go somewhere based on a low cost of living. We'd rather earn more money.

Then I'll recall a discussion I had where someone said they didn't know how folks could live in places like CA, DC, NYC. I was perplexed and after some dialogue, I realized they really had a true affection for their location. They weren't there by default. Part of the discussion included silly stuff like folks in these cities eat bologna sandwhiches while they can go out to dine. But I'll let that part go. Folks who are trained to think poor think everyone is poor

I was listening to the radio last night. The host has a blog and people were arguing about the best whiskey. I guess the fight turned ugly. Her response was, "whatever Whiskey you like best, is the best whiskey."

When I'm judging folks I try to recognize that my preference does not need to be what everyone elsr prefers. They are not wrong, pitiful, classless or whatever for having a different opinion.

God did not make us originals so we could spend our time becoming a copy.

I still talk about folks, but I do it with these guidelines in mind.

What the HAY?

Yesterday at the grocery store I picked up a magazine on grilling. I figured it would be about 5 dollars. I got home, looked at the reciept and saw $9.95. I will definitely utilize these recipes. They look pretty tasty.

I had fun visiting Mr A at practice. He introduced TR to the other coaches and kids. The boys were doing some type of drill. I watched as 50 or so boys ran towards my baby at their top speed as Mr A held her. That startled me for a moment. I just had to hope none of them lost balance. Mr A gave TR instructions on how to yell at the kids when she coached them. I thought that was prety funny. I love listening to their conversations.

TR and I went to Kmart in what ended as an unsucessful search to find her a few elastic headbands. Nothing big, just the thin little satin bands. After being in the store 5 minutes, she demanded food. I went into the dressing room to nurse. She took her sweet time dining.

Later on we hit the grocery store, our final stop. She had started screaming around Wilshire and Labrea (I think that was Labrea) and it got louder as I pulled into the garage of the grocery store. She ate again as we sat in the car. All these food breaks prolonged our time out.

TR and I got home after 7 p.m. yesterday. Mr A prepared a wonderfully tasty meal of grilled steak with carmelized peppers and some sort of wine reduction- his own creation with pasta and green beans on the side. I adore green beans. I'll have to step it up tonight. I already have lunch figured out but dinner is a mystery to me.

I might actually enjoy going to football practice. I even ran into another wife that I knew and we chatted. She was waiting in her car. She is mom to 4 kids and her 4th was a preemie girl. It was nice talking to her. I took my lawn mat yesterday but in the future I'll take the lawn chair, my book and snacks. We'll have a once a week- summertime picnic.

Days Of Our Lives

I had court in the Bay on Monday (yesterday) so Mr A and I decided that TR and I would make an extended weekend up there. I got to spend time with my mom who I miss and she got to spend time with TR- whom she misses. On Friday TR (her first flight) and I went to Oakland. TR was a great on the plane. I saw those folks with the looks of dread, fearing we'd sit near them. HA! Before that flight was over we were recieving smiles and questions.

My mom picked us up at the airport. Her usual airport greeting includes an instruction for whatever child to kiss her. I had TR in her sling and this time she told me to hand her over. TR has an Oakland car seat/stroller (gift from my father) and an L.A. car seat/stroller (gift from my mother) so my mother held her while I got the seat-I'd never seen and hadn't read up on- adjusted. I had to wake my mother up at midnight to demand my kiss.

I finally got to see the diaper cake my sister gave us. It was packed with treats and quite lovely. It's also about 6 tiers so we'll bring it home the next time Mr A comes to Oakland. My brother's godmother also gave us gifts of clothes. I didn't check bags, and came back with so much for TR that I had to leave my own clothes in Oakland.

Saturday was the Cancer Relay walk with my sorority. I attended with my sister and cousin. The event was lots of fun. Hanging with the ladies is always ripe for good times. I got to catch up with my cousin who is home from med school and I got the latest gossip. The sorors didn't get to meet TR because she was home with my mom.

Prior to going to the walk, my cousins and aunt stopped by to see TR. TR loves people so they all had a good time. Sunday she got to meet the folks at church and a couple of my mom's cousins from Florida who happened to be there. She was surrounded by folks and handled herself very well. She tried to meet and greet everyone.

On Monday she came to court with me. They usually ban babies but they let her stay inside. At one point she made a litttle noise and the baliff made my mom take her into the interview room. I hadn't planned to go back to work so soon but the client did a little pleading as he apologized for jacking up my mommy leave. I wasn't about to leave TR at home so he got the both of us. I'd been continuing the matter since June and having other folks appear for me, but it was time to move forward.

I've been having a bit of a love hate, more hate relationship with Mr's A football coaching. This football is a true committment of time. It's worse than a job -to me- but he loves it and he feels he is having an impact on some ruffian kids- black boys lives.

Anyway........ I've decided to be more supportive, incorporate football into my life, and get more sun. The school is near a great shopping area, its near quite a few hollywood hot spots. I'd name them but ya'll know some bloggers get too involved in the story. I may even start taking snacks for the kids and coaches.

Today I'm going to try and find TR a skirt to go with the lovely onesies my sis got her at our Centennial Celebration. I'll likely stop by the book store and then TR and I will be going to watch Mr A coach those boys.

Mr A is grilling steaks later this evening, so I'll go pick those up on the way home. Thanks to the heat and his love of cooking Mr A is doing lots of grilling.

This morning we recieved a package. My brother who is in NYC, overnighted us Red Velvet Cake from Make My Cake.

He said the owner threw a mini fit when she discovered his plan. The owner said the cake is made fresh and they had not perfected a shipping technique to maintain that freshness and taste. She did not want them shipped and told him that he should have told her his plan before he bought them. That is loving her profession- she wants to guarantee the taste.. I noticed the shipping cost was a little over $40. That's a good brother I've got. I cringe every time I use a 42 cent stamp. He also overnighted my mom a whole cake.

And these are the Days of Our Lives.

Golly Gosh

It's August 1st.

Time is flying by at Concorde jet speed.

Aaaarrrrggghh

My girlfriend has been working on Disn.ey's firs.t b.lack princ.ess. I was aware of how difficult it was for Disney to make that movie because it had to be approved by so many sects of black people. She shared with me some of the ridiculous (she didn't call them ridiculous) measures Disney took to make a movie, that will probably still make folks upset and feel unrepresented. The writers were actually sending scripts to various black folks to get their opinions and made script changes based on what those opinions were. So the creative vision of the film got destroyed by opinions.

The movie had been Madd.y the Fr.og Prin.cess, but folks started complaining about her name being Maddy and not pretty like the other Di.sney Princess'. Her name was Madelaine and she is from N.O. Then an uproar on why she had to be a frog princess. They changed the name to Tia.na and of course complaints began that the name was very ethnic.

Sorta like the CNN special- which I didn't watch, but am near vomit level at the number of useless complaints concerning it. CNN failed to get the consensus of various black sects and people were displeased. Folks were complaining about that "Our Kind of People" book because it didn't represent black people well. Folks complained about the Cosby show because of blah blah blah, folks complained about the Good Times because of blah blah blah. We just complain.

How about not consuming the product and spending your money on what you like. It's like this madness with the fast food ban in L.A. If people want to be fat and greasy on the inside and out, let them. Why should the gov't be so paternalistic?


I look forward to the day when black folks can just be. Be without attempting to prove they do or don't exist within a stereotype. Then one day everyone else will realize we aren't of one thought, don't need a leader and our entertainment options won't have to fit into a formula before receiving a green light.

I could go on, but life is too short to spend time complaining and being annoyed.

FAME

My high school was a performing arts magnet. It was also one of the best in the Bay Area for athletics. I lived in the area and that was my talent.

From my 3 years of high school I can look and see many of my classmates followed their dreams. I turn on my t.v. or radio and hear folks I know or recognize. I was very pleased to see Ledisi get a grammy nomination. She was a senior when I was a sophomore and I always hoped she'd be recognized for her talent. I'm so glad she preservered. The world deserves to hear her voice.

When gospel choir would travel to do performances, we'd always request that she sing For The Good of Them. I thought kids needed to be blessed with her voice. She didn't sing to showcase her vocal chords, it was from the heart.

I'd be in choir singing my teenage heart out and near tears, in fact most of the choir would be in tears when she was done. Her voice was so sincere, so powerful, so amazing. She was so tired of singing that song but we'd always request it.

It's amazing how long it can take real talent to receive recognition and a true gift to gain acceptance. I think its a must to have the drive to continue when obstacles present themselves.
The folks who seem to get 'it' easy, aren't always the best, they aren't even the most driven or worthy. Sometimes depending on what the 'it' is, they were the ones willing to compromise first. They were the ones willing to sell, give away or barter whatever they needed to get 'it'. They were the ones willing to float instead of rise to their personal best. They aren't the ones who gain longevity.

I had other classmates, who got record deals and would miss days in class due to touring. Those careers evaporated pretty quickly. Then they found themselves entangled with labels and not even owning their name.

It may have taken my scholmate a while to get her foot in the door but I noticed her voice has grown and I recently read an article and it appears she has grown as an individual and gained an ability to master the business and maintain her musical and personal integrity. Sometimes the wait is a blessing. Sometimes the wait might be the thing you need to test your commitment to your goal. If you let it go, did you really want 'it'?

Chuuch

Our weekend was lovely.

We hit the Grove on Friday and had dinner in the Farmer's Market. TR rode in my sling and she got a great deal of attention. I never realized how much interest babies evoke in strangers.
TR seems to be social like her dad so she didn't mind the attention.

I've always liked babies that I know , but I was unprepared to be approached and questioned by so many strangers. People were all up in my sling. 'Pregnant women and babies are people magnets. I admit to getting excited today when I saw a pregnant woman. I loved carrying TR and seeing the woman made me reminisce fondly.

We went to American Girl Place and TR got checked out like she was a doll. I think the sling adds to the fascination. Other parents were pushing their baby in cadillac strollers and a few had the bjorns, and I imagine our contraption is less familiar therefore automatically interesting. Someone even asked me if I had a real baby in there. I heard one woman tell her child I was a good mommy because I carried my baby.

On Saturday, Mr A worked his magic on the grill. One of our neighbors was over and told Mr A that he needs to be on one of those Food Network shows.

Mr A cooks/grills with total love and does something special with the meat. I'd tell his secret ingredients but our retirement job might be some type of restaurant, so the method has to be protected. Another neighbor came by with homemade guacomale dip and chicken wings. He marinates his chicken in plain yogurt. Mr A grilled the chicken. It was tender and um um good. The dip was amazingly tasty.


Sunday was church and TR was Mr A's passenger. TR was great in church. After service we hit Costco. Observing the reactions to Mr A transporting TR was very interesting. I got a little perturbed when 3 women stopped him by the zip loc bags. Then I recalled that when I woild see a handsome man caring for his cute baby, I'd oooooh, awwwweee and have little heart thumps. The world is a sexist place and I have sexist inclinations too. Yes.............. I just called Mr A handsome and TR cute.

Mr A and I have a game of monopoly to finish. I think I'm winning. He has more cash but I have the most expensive properties with hotels on them.

Have a blessed week.

Smile

TR had her first photo shoot today. The photographer came to the house and we had a good time watching it happen. The photographer was great. She wore her pink kimono.

Mr A has been putting our grill to good use. He got it at the beginning of July and we've used it 3 weekends and at least one week night this month. One night he grilled pork chops and they were amazing. The last time he used it, he made us dinner for a few days and one of our neighbors brought crabcakes for us to grill. He's been using wood- instead of charcoal- and the food tastes yummy.

He'll be grilling again tomorrow and TR and I will be sitting outside watching him do his thing.

Sunday will be our first trip to church with the newest addition to our family. Well...... we went all the time when she was my passenger but ya know what I'm saying.

Have a beautiful weekend.

ROMANCE..

...is about the possibility of the thing. From the time when you first meet some fine ass woman... To the time you make love to her. From the time you first propose to her. To the time you say I do. When people who have been together for a long time say that the romance is dead....naah......they just exhausted the possibilities. LOVE JONES.

I am a romantic and if there's a cure for this I don't want it, if there's a remedy, I run from it. Check out my newest song of the moment- Love Hangover. I won't attempt to describe what romance is for me, words would only diminish the truth of it.

This week Mr A and I went on our first couple outing/date since TR came home. It was a lovely afternoon/evening. We started missing TR towards the end of our evening, so it was great getting back to the house to be with her. This was the first time she was without one of us and I expected her to be kicking a slight fit.

When we arrived she was hanging out with my mother and my great aunt and she barely glanced at us. Oh well....... having her receive me with open and waiting arms was just my fantasy. I'm pleased that she didn't spend the entire evening fretting over the absence of mommy and daddy.

We hit the same area of our very first (alone) date but a different restaurant and we didn't go to Jamba Juice. Revisiting that spot was pretty - heart flutter- cool. Nearly 4 years after that first date, we were back in the same place, having our first date as parents. I guess that is what O.prah might call a full circle moment.

The most romantic and heart moving moment for me was my telling Mr A I had a belly ( not a big belly but I went from flat to round). Mr A pulled me close and told me I was beautiful and so was my belly. When he was done speaking softly in my ear, my heart was smiling. Sincere expressions of love and acceptance are romance for me.

TR got her immunizations and now that we are clear to hit the streets, I'll be getting this body back in condition. I love looking in the mirror and knowing I look good. Even more I love looking in full length mirror and realizing I look fabulous to be mommy to a newborn. Once I get in tip top form we can get to work on a sibling for TR.

I've got a video of TR and Mr A dancing that I want to post. More stuff that makes my heart smile. Check your emails for a link or if I figure out how to password protect- the password.

Far East Fashions

My sis made a shopping trip to Asia a few weeks ago and returned with these two outfits for TR, the diaper bag and a huge diaper cake- the diaper cake includes sleeper sets, towels, and lots of other things.

My mom said the diaper cake was too large for her to travel with so we'll pick it up next time we are in Oakland. I asked my mother how my sister could get from Hong Kong to Oakland with everything, but she can't get from Oakland to Central Ca with the diaper cake. I'm anxious to see it.

I hope to make the next Asia trip. The idea of a 14 hour flight is less than thrilling but the look of custom made clothes is fab. If anyone wants to see some pics of the outfits she had made, shoot me an email.

Maybe someone will invite us to a wedding or a party and TR can wear one of these.

100 Years

TR and I missed the Centennial Celebration in D.C. but were there in spirit.

TR got a pink dress, which she is modeling. Had we gone to D.C., this is probably what she would have worn to the gala.

Mr A, TR and me took our own walk. TR was wrapped in my pink and green personal carrier. Mr A got the fabric and got the instructions online. I love carrying her this way. I just have to learn how to do the wrap for myself.

My sis went on a shopping trip to Asia. I can't wait to get the clothing she brought back for TR. Pictures will be posted.

Then and Now

I looked at my archives and came across my http://call2arms.blogsome.com/2005/12/08/babies/#comments post on babies.

The various things I imagined about having a baby were right on. We were within our 3 year desired timeline of having a baby and so far so fun. Last night she went to sleep at 1 a.m and slept until after 6. I roused her to feed her and she sucked while sleeping. She's eating baby food- which my momma said help babies sleep longer.

I've discovered what s30 meant by leaking breasts. Its more like a flood. We both get drenched. The babe isn't bohemian but she does spend her days either topless with her cloth diaper on or a onesie. She owns lots of clothes but hasn't started wearing them.

She's my happy, friendly, warm, chubby baby that goes to strangers without crying.

She hasn't pulled my hair yet and when she grips my cheek sits a death grip. I love her warm little breath on my cheek and I'm in love with her gums. I have a photo and she's smiling and her gums are fully displayed.

She doesn't yell or cry too much, but she makes noises for most of her communication purposes ans she screams when she crawls or rolls over. When I'm on the phone she'll get very quiet. At this point I love to hear her little noises.

We didn't move to Baldwin Hills and its unlikely we will. We discoverd we love the side we're on and if we stay in L.A. we want to be on this side of the city.

Beware of the Mommy

TR is so fabulous. I said beware of the mommy- heed words of caution.

She is just now 2 months and crawling. She's been crawling since she was a couple of weeks old but she's covering more distance now. I had her in bed with us one morning and I awoke to her attempting to nurse. She had crawled to my breast and kept lifting her head trying to get to the nipple. When she is eating and wants to be burped she sticks her arms out.

When she wants to poop she makes little noises and we put her on "the throne" position, she relaxes, focuses and poops.

Visitors have informed me that she is a good baby- apparently because she doesn't waste a lot of time crying. She does more cooing and purring to communicate. I'm also told I've got it good because she will sleep 4 hours at night.

She appears to have dimples in every place imaginable. Two deep dimples in her cheeks, chin dimple, a little dimple by the bridge of her nose, and dimples where her smile line is. She smiles a lot. She has eyes like mine- large almond shaped.

Her hair has a red tint. My mother and Mr A's mother have reddish/red hair. Mr A's mom had told me Mr A had red hair as a kid. but it looks black now.

After her bath this morning I styled the top of her hair in a mini mohawk.

While I love green, I think she'll be wearing more yellow because it flatters her coloring. She has her first professional photo shoot soon, and I already have her outfit planned.

I can't wait until we can take the world by storm. I'm going stir crazy in the house- we're doing it the old fashioned way and keeping baby indoors for a while. But when I leave the house I want to hurry back because I want to see her little face and hold her. My mom will be coming to a city near L.A. soon and we're going to go hang out there with her. My mother told me to tell TR that she really misses her. I waited for her to say she missed me.......... I'm still waiting. It's okay though- the joy of being a grandmother is enjoying the baby and letting the parents enjoy the work.

I plan to join the L.A. Mocha Mom soon. I need to interact with some SAH moms/wives. I've reconnected with a few of my L.A. folks now that I have less time to socialize. Clearly I like having too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Magical Date- REpost

Love has been on my heart and soul this week. Check out the 'love' song on the sideline, it's currently moving me. S30's current post inspired me to do a repost of my magical date.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Magical Date
Okay this blog is about a date I had, my guy reads my blog so he's gonna have to read about himself in this one.

Well this date was magical because it consisted of my favorite things and my guy didn't even know they were my favorite things.

So I'm there visiting ( almost 300 miles seperate us) this was probably our first couple outing, first time without family and/or friends.

The conversation went something like this

Him: So what do you want to do?
Me: Anything is fine. (I know guys actually want an answer when they ask that)
Him: Do you want to see a movie?
Me: Nope, we can't talk during the movie.
Him: Do you like Jamba Juice?
Me: Yes, I do (super excited, I lu-uvvv Jamba Juice , I drink them when I want to treat myself)Him: Well I thought we could go to Jamba Juice and my favorite Sushi bar is right next to it, so we could go there
Me: Sushi? you eat sushi? What kind?

Ladies I wanted to jump with glee. Sushi is what I eat when I want to treat myself . Sushi for me is like my permission to relax and just enjoy. Jamba Juice is the same thing. Plus both are so expensive cuz it takes much Sushi to get full. This man was offering me three of my favorite things without even realizing it. Him, sushi and Jamba Juice. Ya'll I had to tell him.

Me: I usually only eat sushi when I get paid, it's how I treat myself.
Him: smile
Me: And I love Jamba Juice, I drink it when I want to treat myself. I never imagined that I'd ever have a man that I really like, sushi and Jamba Juice all together. It's like my fairytale.

The small pleasures in life really mean so much. This is not some fru fru guy either, he isn't petite nor does he drink tea with his pinky out. He's like a football kinda dude, which makes it all the better. A man with a liking for delicacies.

The day was beautiful, there was an art festival and we walked along and looked at the various sidewalk art and yes, he held my hand.

I sigh just thinking about it.

Side note: the best thing about my building is that it is across the street from my brother's building. In the middle of writing this blog we took a walk to the bank. I didn't want to go to the bank but being self employed I sometimes have to work on my clients cash schedule. We have lunch together on lots of days and sometimes we run errands together. It's fun. END SIDENOTE.

Posted by Call 2 Arms at 1:51 PM

Our Day

Yesterday morning we had crepes with sliced strawberries for brunch. They were very good and the recipe is super simple. I'm trying to figure out why I was willing to pay 5 bucks for a couple crepes at the Larchmont Farmer's Market.

TR shared the day with us. She sat in her swing and made her little baby noises as we ate brunch.

I made an Oreo Cookie Pie* for dessert. It's a yummy and simple recipe.
I prepared Jambalaya for dinner and when it got late we shared a huge slice of the dessert.

The middle parts were spent with us just hanging out. We bathed TR and Mr A washed her hair. She sure did enjoy herself. Perhaps we are that boring couple/family but I truly enjoy our lives.

This morning I woke up, heard TR sucking loudky on her pacifier, I scooped her up, showered her with kisses, told her how beautiful she is, changed her, gave her breakfast of milk and laid her down to sleep.

I'm sure life could get better, like a paid for home in Bel Air, property taxes on that home paid up for 20 years and maid service included, the stork dropping off a few more kiddies at well-timed intervals, a teletransportation machine, ownership of a prime office building in L.A.- but right now life feels pretty great.

*http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/OREO-Ice-Cream-Shop-Pie-2/Detail.aspx?prop31=1

ForLove 21

My cousin was in town last week - either Thursday or Friday and we discovered Forlove 21 at the Beverly Center. It's sister to Forever 21 but all accessories. Pretty cool place. We both had gift cards for Macy's and we got TR a bunch of cute outfits. We had lunch at Toast. Toast is a very L.A. place. I try to give the total L.A. experience when I can. I had "the Lus", and that sandwhich was amazing with addictive potential.

Speaking of "for love" and "forever" our wedding anniversary is upon us. Life with Mr A has been pretty great. I've noticed that the longer we are wed the quicker we get past any dispute. Pretty cool. That probably works great for Mr A because I'm a bit dramatic. Now we have little Miss TR and she adds a whole new beauty to life and our relationship.

We're still in awe that we've been blessed with our tiny person. I'm holding her right now. She usually is glued to Mr A's chest but he needed to get into his sleep. Me and TR are on one end of the sofa, he is on the other, my feet are under his thighs. The news is on and I'm slightly watching. Welcome to the Good Life.

I never knew how good this type of life could feel. Thank the Lord for blessing me. I don't know why he did or why this was granted to me, but I am grateful. We plan to remain living in the city, so we won't totally become that couple- you know "I Think I Love My Wife" dull and predictable. My great aunt Bessie and Uncle Major were like that- sans children. As a kid I felt like I was being punished when we went to their house. Their home was beautiful, a show place almost, too much valuable stuff to break and perfectly maintained wood floors that creaked when a kid moved. I'd try to limit my visits to times my grandparents were there. My grandparents defined vivacious.

Mr A was gifted- from me to him- a manstation type grill so he'll do barbecue this weekend. It's nice that folks celebrate and have firework displays in honor of our marriage. :)

Adventures in Mommyhood

It has always been my belief that children train parents more than parents train children.

Mr. A has already got TR accustomed to behavior that mommy doesn't do.

While TR was in the hospital she was always changed prior to eating. Now, no matter how hungry she is, she will not eat unless she has a fresh diaper. Fortunately we are using cloth so if she tinkles a drop we change the diaper. I really like how wasteful cloth allows us to be. The diaper service is grand.

Last night Mr A was outside when TR pooped. She was also hungry. The two always coincide. I guess her poop makes room and she wants to fill it. She was acting super hungry, rubbing her face across my chest, putting her fist in her mouth so I tried to feed her first. She wasn't having that. I laid her down to change her but she hates sitting in her poop so that was a disaster. She began wailing. Her hollering hurt my heart and I just held her close. She looked at me and screamed bloody murder for about 7 minutes. I thought she must be in pain. I called Mr A and he heard her yelling in the background. He was back super quick. By the time he arrived I had unpinned her diapers.

He scooped her up and she immediately stopped screaming. Only thing was she had poop on her butt and then he had it all over his hand. She found her spot in his neck and acted as if she hadn't scared me half to tears.

He never put her down. We got a towel and cleaned her and his hand. We put her diaper on and he fed her.

TR has trained mommy to understand that babies cry to communicate. I know what's best and as much as I want to hug her through her discomfort and crying, I can't just hold her. I can't ignore that she has a diaper full of poop. Sure she'll have to momentarily endure things she doesn't want to endure buts its for the best in the long run.

The Beginning

Our Bradley Coach just sent an email asking for my birth story and how Mr A performed as coach. I have yet to reply.

When they informed us we'd have to be induced, they told us we could have a natural child birth. The swelling was causing me great pain and drugs made TR's heart rate drop so I got an epidural. The epidural actually made my blood pressure drop, but only for a short while.

I would never choose an epidural. It paralyzes you. I was trying to move and couldn't figure out why I was having such difficulty. Then I was informed I couldn't eat once I got it.

They started inducing me, it was so slow. I felt very very little because of the epidural. I later read epidurals slows down labor. So after 72 hours of slow labor I could barely feel and feeling like I was about to die, I asked for a C-section- at least I thought I had. I asked for the C-Section at about 9:30 a.m. I was in the operating room before 10 a.m. Mr A told me the surgery had been discussed and scheduled the night before.

The doctors had made the surgery decision. Mr A and I had just discussed asking for it when they came and told us they would have to do one. I can't remember that convo.

The surgery wasn't bad, TR entered the world hollering like a champ. Recovery from the surgery wasn't bad either. The swelling was terrible but the water retention caused me to not have pain from the surgery.

That Bradley class was pretty pricey. I wonder if I could get a refund.

I spent a few moments crying, wondering what I'd done to make my baby come early, wondering what I could have done to change things. All of it made me be grateful for simple things. Having a baby is usually such a simple thing, and when my simple pregnancy got complicated I realized that blessings exists in simplicity. To never experiece the difficulty in something is a blessing.

Little Miss TR is home, and her cries, her coos, her kicks, her smiles are a blessing. They are a regular reminder of things I know not to take for granted. When she cries she gets a kiss from mommy and/or daddy. Today we double teamed her and showered her with kisses.

Perhaps I had a lesson to learn from my birth day. Even if I didn't have to learn something, I learned a lesson. Perhaps I'll delve into it later.

My mommy and my baby

Pretty soon, I'm going to write an actual post and finish my birth story.



Some sorta way TR got spoiled. The lactation consultant said babies who get lots of skin to skin contact go home earlier. So mommy (me) spent the day holding TR and daddy (Mr A) spent the night. I guess they didn't mean two parents coming to hold the baby a large part of a 24 hour period.

I don't consider a baby wanting to be held a bad thing, if you are able to continue holding them. Eventually TR won't want to be held. She won't be 30 trying to--- hmmm.... perhaps I'm wrong. I still love to be held.

Feed Me

Fret not- she is drinking mommy's breast milk.

I think green is her favorite color.

West Wing L& D- Part 2

So I hear the nurses discussing where to move me. They decided on the lovely labor and delivery wing. That should have clued me in that a delivery was in my very near future. Bed rest was my fantasy.

It's still a blur and I have to ask Mr A to fill in pieces but I'll recount as best I can. I had intended to drag this story out for a couple weeks but at the urging of S30 I'll share a bit more. Please pardon the changing tense, I'm reliving as I recount the story.

I get settled in the hospital room and am told I have high levels of protein in my urine. The nurse comes in with a steroid shot. These folks are moving too fast, I decline the shot. They said its to speed up the maturation of the babies lungs. In my mind I'm still not on board with an early delivery and I don't want to introduce drugs to my baby if I can avoid it. If we wait one more week, her lungs will be mature. We were so close to full term.

Mr A had gone to move the car. When he returned I told him what was going on with the shot. He told the nurse we needed info on this shot. One of the nurses went to get us info.

I tell them I want to wait for the results of the 24 urine sample before making a decision. In hindsight I don't think I had any decision making room. Delivery was a done deal.
Mr A goes home to get some of our things. He returns with the laptop and I send emails that I'll be on hospital bed rest. I'm firm in my fantasy.

My blood pressure is constantly being taken. Mr A was watching it and I was watching his reaction to it. We had agreed that I wouldn't worry about it. I have no idea why it rose so quickly and kept rising. They kept asking if I had a headache or blurry vision. I didn't. Mr A said as high as my pressure was, I should have had a headache. I don't know what it got to but it clearly- to everyone observing it- wasn't safe. But I felt fine.

Various doctors came in with papers for me to sign. I asked questions and with great hesitancy signed. The neonatologists came to tslk to us and tell us about the plan for TR and babies who arrive at her age. It never occured to me to deliver at a hospital that had the leading neonatal center, fortunately that is where we were.

While we were waiting on my 24 hour urine I told the dr. I'd had that taken a sample while I was in the Bay- just a couple of weeks before. I told her if anything had been wrong they would have told me.

The results came back the following evening.. I knew 3000 was mild and 5000 was severe. I was thinking, hoping I'd be mild and get bed rest. I was 10,000. I cried, I knew TR would have to be delivered. I didn't know all the why's but I knew there was a reason I'd been checked in the hospital.

I now weigh 7 more pounds than my pre-pregnancy weight. It feels lovely to button my pants again, although today they kept slipping down.

Get What You Need

You cant always get what you want
You cant always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need

That part of the Rolling Stone song ocassionally reverbrates through my head. Maybe its due to that commercial.

I'm realizing that with regular frequency people don't get what they want while others don't appreciate having what someone else is praying to recieve.

Perhaps its similar to having great difficulty finding what you are looking for but once you stop looking you discover it right under your nose.

This is not a relationship post but my above thoughts make me think of Rachel, Leah and Jacob. Rachel had Jacob's love but was miserable because she wanted his child.
Leah had Jacob's children but was sad because she wanted his love.

Either sister could have been happy with what they were blessed with but both were too focused on what they lacked.

I remember meeting a guy with super long thick lashes and I discovered that he actuslly had to keep them cut. That's a problem I would have loved to have. My lashes are thick and certainly not short but my sister and most of my paternal cousins have longer and thicker so I can't flatter myself with what I've got. That's another issue- what you have might be good but when you know there is better to be had, sometimes you forget to be thankful or even notice its nice to have.

I want to be grateful and appreciate what I have and not allow my focus to be kept on things I want or who has it better. This post isn't about material items either.

This post is just about wants in general. Most of us want something (I say most cuz there is always that person who says "I have everything I could want.") Most of us see someone who takes for granted what we greatly desire.

Such is life- there is nothing to do but recognize and be grateful for our own blessings.

I'm not a subscriber to the "I complained about my lack of shoes, until I saw a man with no feet", school of thought. My gratefulness needs to stand alone, not ride on the back of someone with less. Isn't it heartless to feel better because someone has it worse than you? That's no better than feeling bad because someone has it better.

Life is A Miracle

It was a cool day in May. I was wearing a green knit outfit. I can't call it a sweat suit but it was similiar to that. Mr A and I were trying to figure out alternate routes so we'd know which way was best when I went into labor. Because of our exploring routes we were running a wee bit late.

We got to the dr. for our regular prenatal visit. We had a another appointment prior to that so we walked to lunch and came back for the 2nd appointment. They had already taken my blood pressure which was a little high but nothing extreme. Apparently it was extreme since my blood pressure had always ran normal.

We were seen by one of the high risk doctors. Not because I was high risk but she just happened to be who we saw. I had requested to be placed in high risk care from the start but was too 'healthy'. My cousin passing after childbirth made me want to be extra cautious.

The dr had the nurse take my 'pressuh' again and it was still up. She told me to go to the hospital so they could check me out. She said she knew I was feeling well but not to go home, go to the hospital. We went and they hooked me up to a monitor that took my pressure every 10 or so minutes. I think that beeping and arm squeezing was making it go up. They put me on a fetal monitor and did an ultra sound. TR was fine.

It's a bit of a blur but eventually I was admitted.

I figured I was going to be put on bed rest. Tune in for the second part of our birth story.

Random

When Mr A and I moved shortly after getting married, we had no idea we lived on such a great bus line. We didn't know we lived on any bus line. We loved the floor plan and the area and that was that.

Now with gas - at Costco- approaching $5 a gallon I'm even more appreciative to live on the bus line. My sis was in town last week, we stopped to put gas in her rental before dropping it off. The tank was just a slight bit from full. She paid $6 to get it to full. I haven't put gas in the car for a long time and while I know the price, seeing the reality of how much just a little costs, was a shock.

Then Mr A and I went to Costco for gas. The tank was 1/2 full when we got there but it took @$45 to get it a bit past full. So in my head I'm calculating. $90 a week for one tank- although I'm sure we used more than that going back and forth to the hospital which is 10 miles each way. I decided to utilize the bus. At $90 a week, by the end of the month our gas bill could be a car note.

Mr A has been riding his bike to practice. He's looking great, too- whoo hoo!. We work from home so that wasn't an expense. Some say work close to home but working from home is the only way to go at these gas prices. I bet telecommuting will pick up. The car gets to rest, until the bus isn't convenient, nighttime travel or we have shopping.

I'm sure with gas this high and the price of it increasing, bus service will expand. At least I hope it does. It would be nice if public transportation was convienent to the masses.

I missed being a mommy on Mother's day. I was OOOOO so close. Mr A did get me the ice cream cake I'd been talking about for a month- we shared it with the wonderful hospital staff who we really liked. Any ideas on what TR and I should get Mr A on his very first Father's Day?