Happy HAPPY

Mr and I are at our New Year Eve destination. We are about a quarter tank of gas from L.A. but the home is lovely. TR was invited and most everyone here has their youngun in tow. TR is out of town with my mom. I'm sure she would enjoy this party. There is an almost 12 month old here but she almost took TR down last time they played together. TR was 3 or 4 months then and the other baby was about 7 months. TR moves around better so they might be able to intereact.
I"m already sleepy. We are spending the night here but I don't want to poop the party by turning in early. Mr A and I made gumbo so that is on for tomorrow. Have a blessed 2009 and be safe.

Goals

I have a goal to write a list of goals. I'll have to sir down and think of things I want to accomplish. Mr A and I have goals as a family so I'll likely incorporate some of those into my personal goals.

TR is going out of town for a few days. I wonder if I'm ready. I'm sure she is. Mr A and I, my mother and siblings went to dinner last week and we droppeed her off at my aunt's house. She was sleep when we left and I was concerned she would wake up in unfamiliar surroundings and cry.

My cousin said TR woke up, stared at them and proceeded to play. When we arrived to pick her up, she appeared to be having a great time. My aunt also gave her a full length fur. My baby is certainly fab. I think she has more clothes than both Mr A and myself. I had planned to dress my babe in onesies, but she has full outfits and shoes.

There is more. I'm sure I'll post before the New Year, if not Have a Blessed 2009!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Merry Christmas to all of you.

I've already opened my gifts from TR and Mr. A. Now I am looking forward to Mr A and my mom opening their gifts from TR.

Seasons greetings.

xoxoxo, The A family

p.s. we are the A family because its Mr A's initials. I wouldn't give my husband my surname, in real life or blogland. I know someone thought A was for Arms. puleeze

I guess this thing can work.

You Should Be a Politician

Confident, assertive, and dedicated - you know what you want in life and how to get it. Stubborn and opinionated, you can stand your ground... even if it's unpopular. And while you have strong views, you never overwhelm people with your opinions. A true charmer, you subtly influence people into seeing things your way. You do best when you: - Work according to your own rules - Can change the world with what you do You would also be a good lawyer or talk show host.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

American Boy

I like that song and since part of this post will refer to American Girl dolls, I thought I could be random with the title.

We've been enjoying our Christmas Season. On Friday, our borrow child/goddaughter came over to spend the weekend. Saturday was a fun and full day of shopping. Sadly, I don't think we got gifts for anyone but ourselves.

I got a dress at Loehmans, the dress I had envisioned since seeing a similiar dress in the Neiman catalog. We then headed to the Beverly Center, where we bumped into Keith Sweat. I was never a fan of his crooning but since discovering he wrote that Burger King jingle with the words, Girl you've got a 10=piece, don't be stingy, I've lost respect. I admit to loving that song but I also admit to knowful I shoud be ashamed for humming it in my free time and chuckling.

I wanted to ask Keith, where Lisa Wu, i.e, Real Housewife of Atlanta was. Looking at him, I could see how he might be a wife abuser. He looked vain. But he did look nice and not at all elderly.

The great thing about the Beverly Center is, its rarely crowded. Mr A cites the prices as the reason for that. I know they have a Gymboree, a Sephora and an Apple Store, beyond that the prices don't impact me. I do hit that Macy and one day I want to give Bloomingdales a try. I've only ever browsed that store. I will say the one is San Francisco is beautiful and glorius. Everyone who enjoys shopping must go. It is visually appealing.

One of the great thing about husbands is how they let you plan their outfits. I was able to pick out a couple of things for Mr A and he actually likes them. I was the one that introduced nice colors into his wardrobe and even shoes with some color. I am such a fab wife.


After shopping we went out to the Valley for dinner and then to drive down Candy Cane Lane. The houses were great. It took us a couple of hours because the streets were jam packed with onlookers.

Moving back to what a fab wife I am........
On Sunday while driving in the car, me and TR in the back a woman flags Mr A to roll his window down. He does and neither of us think anything of it. The woman then says.... heyyyy handsome. Neither of us think anything of this either. Then she tilts her head and sees me and her reaction was hillarious. She apologizes and they drive on. I'm in the back cracking up and telling Mr A how I am a great fashion coordinator. I also have years of practice advising my brother.

Later on that day, Mr A went to pick up some food while TR and I waited in the car. Why did a woman ask to sample his peach cobbler. He told her his wife probably wouldn't like that.

I remember being young and seeing a pretty nice looking man in a terrible looking tie and outfit. I told my mom that he must be single because no woman would let him leave his house like that. My mother said his wife probably dressed him that way on purpose to make sure he made it back home every day.

In other things I always found a good test to determine if a man is single is the ash between his fingers. If he is all lotioned up in the spot many men forget about, then he got somebody. If he has somebody and is still ashy....... poor him.

I'll have to get to American Girl later, this has gotten too long.

L.A. to the Bay and Back

Mr A and I are back in L.A. but only for a few days.

I had a hair appointment this morning and the lady was telling me three of her clients called her this morning to tell her they'd been laid off. She said lots and lots of her clients and girlfriends were going through the same.

So far I only know one person that has been laid off. Mr A's old co-worker who had been at his company 18 years. I think part of the reason is the guy wouldn't take any promotions. He was in management and making enough to live nicely so he didn't want to take on more responsibility just for more money.

I understand working for money because we all have to live, but leaving home each day just to get a check has to be destructive to the soul. I really think being able to love what you spend the day doing makes up for salary. I also think if you love what you do, the salary will come.

After my hair appointment I thought I'd do my part to stimulate the economy and do a little retail shopping. I arrived at the store and discovered the lot was full -at 11 a.m.!!  I thought this weather would keep folks indoors.  I headed to the grocery store. It's cold and rainy so I was thinking of foods that keep the soul warm.  

I bought a mini Christmas tree. We'll only be here a few days but I still want a little festivity in the place. I put up a few decorations before Thanksgiving.  I have been away since before

 Thanksgiving. I missed home.

I'm back home now hanging with Mr. A and TR.

Misery Needs Company

I was trying to have a good day but it seemed folks were determined to push me off of my mountain.  In turn I ended up having an attitude with folks that didn't deserve it, namely my mother. I didn't have a bad attitude but any at-ti-tude is unnecessary. Its probably worse when folks are evil to folks who have no idea where the evil arose from.

Oh what a web bad moods weave.  If not careful misery can be contagious.  

Last week my father offered to  buy TR baby food. He asked me for a list. I made a table and told him she eats fruits, vegetables, rice cereal and oatmeal.  I also told him she is on stage 2.  He brought back lots of  baby food with meat and some vegetable items.

I guess he wanted a list to ignore.  He came in and proceeded to spend about 10 minutes insulting me. I wonder if I should tell him why his other children ignore his calls.  I would ignore his calls but my mother answers the phone without looking at caller i.d.

Some of the stuff he says might be acceptable if he had said them when I was a young person interested in listening.  I'm 30+.

I think much of his advice are based on his own regrets and failures. He wants to share his opinions on marriage, family and money.  I guess he can tell me what not to do, but he wants to tell me what TO do.

I'm pretty sensitive to the moods and vibes of folks I am close to.  I'm discovering this can be a bad thing when people enjoy being depressed.

I was visiting my cousins a couple of weeks ago and we were watching Charlie Brown. One of my cousins pointed out that that show had introduced depression to our generation.  I guess that's why I never liked the show. 

Anyway my emotions are just all discombobulated. I need to figure out how to remain emotionally unaffected by folks with misery in their aura. I really want TR to live in an emotionally well-balanced home. I want her to know we can experience sadness or low moments but we don't allow it to  control our life or diminish our spirit. 

I need to get my light back.

Great Dates

 I had a hot date last night. I chose Elephant Bar because I thought we could see a movie at the nearby AMC. It's been a couple of years since I've been to that restaurant but I really enjoyed the meal and our drinks. I thoroughly enjoyed my sexy companion.

 There were no movies we were willing to see. I certainly wasn't willing to waste my movie tickets or an hour of my life on Cadillac Records.  I like Beyonce as a performer but I wish they would quit casting her in movies that have the potential to be good or great without her. The only movie I've watched with her in it was Dream Girls, and now when I watch it on DVD or cable, when it hits the second part were she is central, we stop watching.  It's not right to do that to movie goers.

I'd been meaning to go to Sephora and make use of my coupon. I didn't have the coupon but decided to go anyway. I chose my items and asked the clerk if I could get the money off.  I was able to pull on the coupon on Mr A's phone and they used the gift coupon code to give me the discount. Pretty cool.

Mr A tried not to go into the store with me. I think he is opposed to entering beauty emporiums as part of the man code.  I explained to him that at this point in my life he is the main person I want to look good for.  I like that twinkle in his eye when I'm looking good. I wouldn't want to buy a nail polish color and have him think its terrible every time he looks at  my hands.   I also wouldn't want to get a fragrance that he doesn't like.  I'm not sure he bought that, but since we were in the neighborhood it only made sense that I go buy my beauty goodies.

I don't usually drag him with me on my shopping excursions. I respect the man code. What man wants to go with their woman as she picks out shoes, purses, jewelry or clothes and I'm sure makeup would be an additional type of torture?  I was in and out of Sephora so quickly that any woman would be amazed.

 I married a man like Mr A for a reason. I didn't want a husband that wanted to have an opinion on colors. My mother said my father wanted to help pick out furniture and be involved in her home decor when they got their house. She wasn't prepared for that as that was not how her parents operated. The yard was my grandfather's domain, except for my grandmother's flowerbeds and the house was my grandmothers decorating domain. Mr A opposes too much red but after that its my choice. 

As I think about it last year after Christmas the family went to Palo Alto to shop.  The ladies headed into Sephora and my brother and Mr A hung outside. My great uncle Robert came in, he is  80+ and Mr A made fun of him because when he exited the store he'd been sprayed by the perfume girls.  I think Uncle Robert liked it in there. He was smiling really big.

It's great to have a night out with my sweetums and then come home and kiss our sleeping babe.

More things change

the more they stay the same.

I was checking out my posts from December 7, 2008. They were about business endeavors and getting up early.

I'm cool in the spring/summer months but winter is just difficult. I slept in this morning until about 9 a.m. The days before saw me starting early.

http://call2arms.blogspot.com/2004/12/getting-up-early.html

Here's another post about reaching towards my creative business goals. I still want to do something creative but as I've gotten older my interests changed. I have another fun business idea, that I need to implement.

http://call2arms.blogspot.com/2004/12/spreading-word.html

Scraps of Love- Money can't buy

It has been my intention since before Thanksgiving to get supplies to scrapbook and organize Mr A's college pics, letters and other keepsakes. After church I hit Michaels and my love of all things craft took over, plus they were having a 40% off sale.

Mr A will be home soon. I will show him what I bought, tell him the cost and see what he says. I think I have a shopping problem. I don't shop very often but when I do, I make up for lost time.
My brother and I went to Union Square yesterday. I sooooo love it over there. It just feels good. Union square, most specifically Saks and Neiman got me through law school. When I felt tired of school I'd go there and be inspired by what I wanted to afford in my future.

I actually have a gift card for Neiman that I need to put to use.... when I find that darn card.

Mr A went to the 49ers-Jets game today. His former college roomate invited him. The friend lives up north in (said with a NeNe leaks twirl) 'exclusive' Sonoma County. Not a lot of broke folks up there. I love my people but Mr A has a lot of white friends and when they invite you somewhere its a different type of invite.

I guess most of us don't have access to complimentary tickets to sporting events to give away. But even when its dinner, they will try to either pay for it all or all the drinks.

Mr A is home. JOY!! More later.

plans

My work has been going fairly well. I'm working on improving my discipline. Thursday and Friday went fairly well. On Friday I was up before 7 a.m. and even had breakfast started.



"If I want to be great, I have to win the victory over myself..... self discipline."



I do want to be great. I want to be superwoman, and I want it all. I know what is possible for me. I dare to try.



I watched the TVone Beyonce special and while I'm not a fan I appreciate her work ethic and persistence. She is committed to being an actress and while she isn't that great, she continues to press on. Maybe "Cadillac Records" will be her shining acting moment. I can only appreciate that type of commitment to a goal.



Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines.



Aside from my work I have a few personal pleasures I'm planning for 2009. Mr A and I love the beauty of wine country so we'll head up there for a spa day. My mom's cousin has a time share in Calistoga and- last year- offered us free use. I'd like to do the train ride with lunch.



I want to visit the Canyon Ranch at the Venetian. They have some great packages. I'm not a fan of flying, but I'll likely fly up to Oakland and drop TR off and fly back. I've never actually been to Vegas but I have flown into the airport. I dislike flying there because of the turbulence. Perhaps Mr A will be willing to take the train.



We might take a family trip to Colorado. That would include siblings and a couple of cousins. I plan to ski with abandon- unless we have TR's sibling on the way.

Those are January through March leisure goals. I don't like to plan my leisure activities too far in advance. If I have too long to think about a trip, I won't want to go. I lose enthusisam if I have too long to consider a destination. Some of my best trips have occured on a few weeks or days planning. The ski trip where I met Mr A was made with 3 days planning. I sent an email on that Tuesday asking my cousins if they wanted to attend. By Thursday my cousin had secured a cabin and we were on our way that Friday. That trip was grand, and made even more grand because of my meeting Mr A.

Our last trip to Aspen was planned with just a couple of weeks. We all said we should go and we booked flights and hotels and headed out. We had a group of six and we all had a great time- and no we didn't sleep six to a room, nor did we cook in our room. We had 3 seperate rooms and dined like regular vacationers. Cash is king.

The Interfering Wife

I was awake around 4 a.m. because my brother called me. I was awake again at 5:30 a.m because my mother called me, but I didn't make it out of bed until 8. Who can get up early when folks won't let you sleep? Mr A was gone by 5:45 a.m. This early people amaze me.

I have already gotten work done, played with and bathed TR, fed her a strawberry from this great Munckin contraption and now I'm wasting time online.

Years ago my great-uncle had a construction business. He had a contract with the state to build silence walls (I don't know the official names) on the freeway. This was a huge contract. My uncle didn't have any children of his own but he had 2 step-daughters that he basically raised. He took excellent care of their mother, paid for the house they lived in and did them well. He paid for their college, weddings etc. These daughters are my mothers first cousins.

My great-uncle hired his son-in-laws. My great-aunt suggested they not work for him but they did. He was a 6'4, slim, big hat wearing and booming voiced southern man. He was straight-forward and if you weren't of a certain personality than you might be offended by some of what he said. He and my grandfather were great friends and as a child I recognized his great heart. I also appreciated how he and my grandfather would get together and try to out do each other.

My great-uncle would give my brother a $20 and my gramps would give me $50. This would go on until my brother and I would have a $100. We were only in elementary, jr. high and that was a lot of money around the holidays.

One holiday, perhaps memorial day, he and his crew had to work. His son-in-laws got to the job, worked part of the morning and informed him that they were taking off early. Uncle told them they could not. They got uppity and told him they wanted to spend the day with their wives (who had been calling them every 20 minutes) and bar-b-cue. He told them they of everyone, had to stay because if he let them leave, the other men would be upset by the favoritism. He also told them if they stayed and worked together then everyone could go home earlier and be with their family.

The two son-in-laws told him they were out and to watch as they left. Uncle fired them.

The fall out was tremendous. The daughters were so upset and createde so much confusion that my uncle and aunt were seperated within a month. My uncle gave her the divorce and let her keep all the stuff they'd acquired over 30 years. My uncle passed some years ago and my aunt has been living with her daughter for nearly 15 years now. My uncle was from a well-to-do family, so she lost out on that inheritance.

My uncle having no one to leave his business to, eventually dissolved it. The plan had been to leave it to the sorry son-in-laws. They probably weren't qualified to take it over and they
certainly lacked work ethic.

They eventually found other jobs, none that paid as much and none that were as easy on them.
I remember them having to work holidays and my grandmother pointing out that they hadn't told the boss they were refusing to work to be with their family.

I often recount that story and reflect on how terribly foolish my cousins were. I reflect on what was and what might have been had people not had less respect for a job because it was family owned.

It's good to have family businesses. Your children can pursue their dreams and if things don't work out, or while they are in pursuit they can work in your business or a relatives business and you don't have to give them parental handouts.

4 a.m.

My brother sent a couple of emails to me around 4 a.m. this morning. I'm helping him with some of his business matters and the emails were about business. My mom was up doing paperwork and I was up trying to get TR back to sleep. She wanted to play.

Yesterday morning my mom was up on her treadmil at 5 a.m. She called her cousin who was also up. When I say 'up' I mean up and moving. My mom went by her cousins house at 5:30 a.m. and they handled business.

My goal is to be one of the early movers. I should be up getting work done. I'd already be a millionaire if I had that type of work ethic and committment. I only work like that when I'm working on a deadline. I'm sure my business would be amazing if I was like them.

My current goal: I have a brief due in late December. My goal is to have the final draft complete by Monday December 8. It's going fairly well. I usually procrastinate on these things.

I'll have to work on that 4 a.m. thing. Maybe I'll start at 6 a.m. Maybe if I work a little bit of exercise in my morning, I can be going by 5:30 a.m.

Regular rest and little hard work is not the path to wealth. I don't know anyone who achieved great success by sleeping in.

4 a.m.

Petrol

We were in Vallejo this weekend and Safeway had regular gas for $1.77. That price is before the club discount. WOW!!

The news has reported that we've been in a recession for a year. DUHHH! Some sheeple seemed to believe there wasn't a recession because of the defenition of the word. We're probably in the early part of a depression so calling a recession is still underplaying what's really occuring.

Mr A and I are still in Oakland. My brother started a business and Mr A is helping him get and keep things together. My brother had been calling me almost bi-weekly trying to find out when Mr A could get up here.

A couple of weeks ago one of the employees was calling my brother every ten minutes complaining about stress. My brother works in a different city and that day he was in a meeting that he couldn't leave. My mother and sister had to go and let the employee go home. Can you believe that silly person keeps asking my brother when he'll get back on the schedule? If you walk off the job, why would someone want you back.

That applies to relationships, when people break up/walk away from the relationship why do they go back and why do people take them back? If it was bad enough to leave, then its bad enough to be consistent in that decision. It's one thing to think about quitting but when you actually quit then its bad.

Why do I keep running into divorced women who hypenated while married but use only the exes name once divorced?

Why are people having divorce parties? They should be pricked with a needle on their big toe. It's a party to celebrate a person making a disatrous life decision and tying to lives together only to rip them asunder.

Such thought patterns IMO is what seperates a marriage as a religious institution from a civil union as a legal matter. In my version of Christianity you may get a state sanctioned divorce but you are married under God's eyes. Once you marry the next spouse you are an adulter. Everyone doesn't believe like I do, so for them a divorce party is just an expose on how insignificant their legal marriage is to them. In God, a marriage is til death, in the state a marriage is until the other person does what you don't like.

Disclaimer: If you mate is beating or abusing you or your kids then I'm not suggesting anyone remain. I do suggest you remain single because clearly you are bad or careless at choosing mates.