4 Falls of Love

Mr A and I began our affair of love 4 years ago in autumn. We met winter of 2004, chatted on the phone through the summer of 2004, met up a few times at the end of summer earl by October 2004 we were a couple.

I still remember 'the talk'. I remember how my heart beat so fast and how nervous but excited I was. I remember going shopping with my cousin and buying him a baby blue sweater. I bought it because I was thinking of him and he didn't own any pastel colors.

I remember taking the train to see him and him taking the train to see me. I remember going to the grocery store to prepare for his visit. I remember the feelings I was experiencing.

I asked Mr A if he remembers our first fall together. His answer was no. Fret not, I didn't hurt him. He usually does well when I ask him if he remembers firsts. He was up and out at 5 a.m. this morning, so perhaps he was tired.

Time flies so fast. In a few months we will have known each other 5 years. We've been a couple for 4 years, and married a little over two. It is really amazing how quickly time passes. Soon (just a few years) we'll be taking TR to her bilingual preschool. Soon we'll be 40 with elementary age children. We'll be 50 with college aged children. Goodness gracious, time waits on no one.

I think gymboree is for parents who spend 0 time with their child. I don't think I can attend or pay to attend a class and pay to sing songs and touch my baby's body parts. We do that every day. I think the part with the play area looked nice. That's for babies that are walking. Currently we have mommy and baby yoga and daddies too. I might give the music class another shot. Next up..... baby sign language. My mother laughed at me today, when I told her we were on our way to gymboree.

I did find a beautiful Christmas dress for TR and a few hats, one a paperboy hat. I love those. My mom plans to take TR to San Francisco at Christmas time. The hat will come in handy in the freezing city. They are going to browse Saks and see the tree at Neimans. It seems that TR will be reliving my childhood Christmases.

How the Rich Live

Ivanka Trump was on Morning Joe this a.m.

She said there is a palpable fear amongst people at this time of global economic crisis. She spoke of people she knew who made millions each year and how they were having family meetings on how they were going to cut back and make different decisions. I hear middle class folks feeling confident about their plantations ability to withstand and their feelings of job security and savings.

My grandmother was alive during the depression, she said they were using dollar bills as wall paper because they were worthless. Banks failed, money in those banks was lost. The govt doesn't have funds to insure all the money in banks. They can create more paper but it will be worthless. My grandmother and her parents were blessed to own their land and home and have farms and food to eat.

Middle class people do not seem to realize they are poor and that middle class is just a term to make people feel better. Middle class people are soooo drinking the kool-aid. It's the middle that keep the rich wealthy and the poor operating.

The wealthy work forever because they love what they do. Middle class work until they can afford to stop. The poor- I'm not sure what they do.

I was having this discussion with my mother yesterday. I was telling her people can't live on SSI anymore. She informed me that my statement is sort of true, sort of false.

If SSI is all a person has to live on, they can go rent a $2000 house and only pay 30% of their income, then they can get reduced rates on necessary services like phone and utilities. She helped one of her cousins get a home phone (he owns his home w/o mortgage because his mother paid for it, his mother died and now my mom helps him) and he only has to pay $5 per month.

If I die an old woman and die middle class, I believe I will have lived far beneath my potential and failed. I have no desire to achieve wealth for the perks, I just don't want to live my life in the trap of middle class. I want to win at this game called life. I also want my children to know they can go beyond being middle- if they so desire. I know I don't need to be rich and I'm not trying to buy anything, but the achievement of some real wealth is a goal of mine. Its sorta like people who want to climb a high mountain, they just want the satisfaction of acheiving a goal that takes discipline to meet.

My Reality

Am I correct in thinking a blog is similiar to being cast on a reality t.v. show? Bloggers show parts of their lives, either all of it or selected parts. In the past I wasn't too much of a reality fan, but reality t.v. is sucking me in.

I'm a fan of Real Housewives of Atlanta and I'm amazed at the vitriolic criticism these women are garnering. My goodness.....its totally amazing.

I hope they don't care. I don't think they make Atlanta (suburbs) look bad or women or women of color. If people think the any group of people are homogenous, then may the live happily in their vacuum. Do people watch Hills and think the show represents all young white folks? Black people never get a chance to just be. Someone always wants to be represented.

I wish Deshawn would open her mouth when she speaks. It is painful to watch her speak. I wonder if she has veneers and isn't comfortable with them.

I'm a fan of the Rachel Zoe Project. I remember her from the days she was accused of turning Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan into anorexics. I know she styled them into recognition.

I think The Hills is losing me. The show seems to have flatlined and until something different occurs I can't make myself watch.

I'm still watching The Game and that seems to have bitten the shark as well. I'll be glad when Tudors starts again.

The Game is just a horrible representation of Black athletes. One is a momma's boy, one has a white wife, the other one has become a 'baby daddy'. While I don't know any momma boy athletes I am very familiar with the other two. Are they making Ms. Brock Akil do this? This is the same madness that happened to Moesha.

I know I'd be crushed if the man I loved had a baby out there. I think I'm greedy and I'm just realizing this. I want 100% of my husband. I want us to exist in our own universe. I think it would be extremely difficult if there were pieces of him walking the earth, pieces that I had no part in creating. That would be like having a ladder up to out planet, instead of us just floating as we please.

The plan for Tuesday is Gymboree. The family is going to check out the 0-6 month class and see what its about. At the Baby Citizen of the World Class, one of the babies kept screaming. TR must have liked the noise because she's been blessing us with high pitched screams at various points throughout the day. When she does it, I call my mother and let her listen. My mother laughs and screams back.

I can't wait to go back to the Bay. We're spending a month up there and I plan to pull out pots, pans and wooden spoons, place TR in the kitchen with my mom and let them have fun.

Indian Summer

I don't know if it's an Indian Summer or global warming but today was hot. When I saw the weather report, I knew we needed to make it to the park before the heat of the day destroyed our plans and forced us to take shelter indoors.

TR and I made our first trip into the sand and got on a swing. Around noon the park was full of babies, they were sitting on blankets and crawling in the grass. Mr A joined us with picnic food and our lawn mats. He laid them out under a tree, we put TR down and she crawled around.

I love picnics and I realized this was TR's very first real picnic. We went to one Sunday but since we sat at tables and got our food from caterers, I don't think it counts. A picnic must contain laying out on the grass and food to qualify as picnic.

Fire

My only t.v. viewing options are cable and the fire watch on local stations. I've missed my normal programming for 2 days. We didn't make it to the park yesterday because TR was napping during that hour. Mr A had a meeting in the morning, practice in the afternoon and a late meeting, so TR and I spent the day in bed.

Mr A is home today so we will all be getting into traffic. One of the fires is in an area called Porter Ranch. Mr A used to work out that way and I toured some of the model homes there. The models were fab-looking. They were the large cheaply built ticky tacky look alike boxes(circa Weeds theme song) on tiny lots. At the time I was looking, the homes were in the high $700ks. I was just looking to pass time because I was visiting him at work and he was in a meeting.

There is a PBS special I'm trying to catch. It's called "Driven to Despair." It's supposed to discuss how the exodus to the surburbs and exurbs, coupled with increase in gas costs fueled the mortgage meltdown. I did my conspiracy post on such a topic over a year ago. My sister's professor told her class in the 90's about the great surburb exodus and then a rise in gas prices which would have folks trapped and the cities would once again become the area of choice. The suburbanites would then have challenges getting to the city even for work.

I guess he couldn't predict easy credit and folks walking away from homes.

Mr A I and didn't buy a new home after we married because we planned to move to the bay area. 2006 was the peak of real estate and while some folks were still hollering 'buy' we expected a decrease in price. We didn't expect all of this but watching some of these fire sales makes us even more pleased that we decided to move slow and figure out what we liked and where we wanted to live.

That decision also allowed Mr A to start a business. We were watching the news today and saw that one of the corporations he used to work for will be having layoffs. The other corporation he worked for underwent major changes a bit after he left. I'm sure it is stressful to wonder if your location will be impacted.

We've really been blessed with how things have been timed for us. We were blessed even in where we chose to live. We had no idea we were so centrally located and on fantastic public transit routes. We moved here while Mr A was at his old job and making a salary that was high for Los Angeles, plus bonuses that were the amount of some folks yearly salary. Of course much was eaten up in taxes so I knew we could live on far less. God has really blessed, kept and made provisions for us. While I realize these are tough economic times, my faith is not (and never has been) placed in my husbands or my great careers and earning capacity. It is not in us having multiple incomes. I know God is the one who made it possible for us to have regular business and regular income. I know He blesses our clients so they can bless us.

I'm not worried but my lack of worry has nothing to do with my confidence and reliance on our strengths but in the power and control of God. I really can't understand folks who get so confident in their own power and decision making. It is grace that allows people to be well enough to work, so how does one take confidence in income from a job?

Diary of a Mommy

First check out this site. Daddy Diaries, I'll wait. Tell your friends there is a site for first time fathers. Most resources are targetted to first time mothers but daddies are curious too.

Time flies so fast. The three of us are in bed. TR is kicking around, smiling, looking and doing baby things. Last year this time she was my passenger and only two folks were in this bed. Even then she was adding joy and excitment through anticipation. Now its joy and excitement through her presence.

Last March I blogged about going to a bar-b-cue where the host had a 2 month old, another woman was a few months pregnant and I was barely showing. A few weeks ago much of this group got together again, for a kids birthday party. The 2 month old is now 8 months, she and TR sat on the floor together and she nearly toppled on TR. The other baby was a few weeks old. It was slightly amazing to me.

On Friday TR and I went to a music class for infants. It's called World Citizen Baby. The babies sang songs in Spanish, Portuguese, Swahilli, played instruments and basically laughed and screamed at their mommies who sang songs and danced their babies around the room. One woman even brought her nanny. Must be nice. Most of the women appeared to be in their late 30's, early 40's. That made me ponder what I was doing in that mix, maybe I need to go to gymboree.

TR and I have been walking to the park around the same time everyday. We purposely go at the same time because the same kids are there with their nannies. The nannies speak Spanish/Spanglish to TR and their charges, so I figure she can watch the kids play and pick up the basics of a second language.

On Saturday TR had a photo shoot. The lady brought such pretty props. It was lots of fun and I'm looking forward to the prints.

She'll finish the shoot in a couple of weeks and Mr A and I will take photos with her.

That is all.

Rain Rain Come Again

It rained this Saturday, it was lovely. I appreciate a rainy day, it creates a vibe I could describe but won't.

I had a very nice weekend. On Friday Mr A, TR and I went to Pacific Palisdades. I wrapped TR in a nice heavy cotton baby blanket and she slept almost from the time we got to the game until the time we got home. It was a quite cool out but she was toasty warm.

I think that was her first trip to the beach.

One of my sorors from my Bay Area chapter moved to L.A., so we visited a chapter and had a great time. We'll probably affiliate with that chapter. I also met another Soror who also moved down here from the Bay Area. She and her husband recently bought in Baldwin Hills and when they first moved to L.A. they lived in the area we live in. I thought that was pretty cool. Like-minded women.

I was gone @6 hours on Saturday and I don't think I've been away from TR that long since she came home. As a result of our 6 hour seperation one of my boobs was so heavy with milk that I thought I'd scream. My sweet little baby is better than any breast pump. She drained that milk. Mr A had fed her while I was gone but she seemed to want exactly what I had.

This actually happened before. When she was first born I had to pump. The first time I pumped I only got a few cc's/ml. The doctors measured her belly to determine how much milk she needed. The amount I had produced was the exact amount they had measured her to need. I was so happy!

It's amazing how God built a baby and a mommy. My production relaxes at night, I guess because she mostly sleeps through the night. Six hours in the night does not have the same result. But 6 hours in the middle of the day had a drastically different result. I guess TR and I are in sync.

On Sunday our intent was to hit the 8 a.m. service. We were up late Saturday and didn't get up as early as we wanted. As a result we went to West A so as not to miss the message. West A isn't our first choice so we'll have to be sure to do better.

Mr A's friend had gone ocean fishing and caught lots of tuna. I think Mahi. His friend and his girlfriend came by so Mr A could grill the tuna. His friend has a baby grill and Mr A has a man station and while Mr A can work miracles with the grill, he can work great works with a good grill.

The tuna was great. I got to hang out with my friend and Mr A got to hang out with his childhood bestfriend. TR had fun hanging with and talking to the adults and watching football.

I'm looking forward to putting up October decorations. Having a child in the house just makes life so festive.

Chuckle Chuckle Chuckle

McCain lost on stage With Music

What I'm Wearing Today

I was up at 2 a.m. and decided to shower. I missed showering yesterday. Mr A has been at a training from 8 to 5, and its been just TR and me at home this week.

It's only Wednesday and I'm grateful Mr A works from home. I'm sure I could do this everyday but I'm grateful we are doing this together.

Laat night, he came home, got the car and headed out to get gas and a hair cut. I was passed out when he got home. Sure I could have gotten gas while he was gone, but I'm turning into one of those women. You know..... the ones who don't get their own fuel, and can't work the remote control like my 83 year old aunt. She's been married 60+ years and has never pumped gas. She doesn't even know how. Her husband gets her car, fills it up and returns it. He pays for her gas as well. I know some men (not Mr A) who require their wife to pay for her own gas, labelling it as her expense.

I disagree with that especially if she uses gas to buy groceries. Some men want to be head of household, but want to share expenses. If I made TR pay bills, she'd be justified in telling me since she supports herself financially or chips in, I am limited in what I can tell her. I'd of course warm a switch up and work on her tail, but she'd be reasonable to think what she said.

Anyway, I woke up the 2nd time around 6 a.m and put on workout shorts and a white t-shirt. TR had carrots for an early lunch and since she has picked up the habit of touching the spoon as it head towards her mouth, I'm wearing carrots. I could have changed but then when she spit up milk on me a couple of hours later I would have hsd to change again. I look like baby food smeared housewife.

TR is generous. When she's eating she'll put her hand in her mouth and then put it in my mouth. I don't know how to tell her that I appreciate her gesture of giving but am not a fan of baby food and certainly not baby food she's already eaten on.

My mother was feeding her and I looked at my mother and knew exactly what TR ate. My mother had dried apple sauce on her forehead. I just recently began feeing her by spoon, Mr A. had held that task. He is amazing. When he feeds her she doesn't need a bib or cloth. Everything ends up in her mouth. They have ettiquette conversations so perhaps that's why she dines very neatly with him.

In other things, I think she can read. She moves her eyes in the correct direction when I'm reading. She can also swim. We were in the bath last weeks and she arched her body into back float position, relaxed and proceeded to float, as I held her.

I later noticed her doing the doggy paddle. Mr A is a great swimmer, he's even trained in survival swimming and he'll give her formal instruction a little later. Maybe next summer.

I may be exaggerating on the reading but everything else is exactly as it has happened.

The Mommy Life

I'm thoroughly enjoying the mommy life. It has to be one of the best roles ever invented.

Yesterday TR and I took a trip to our banks. I considered putting her in her stroller and taking a nice walk but decided to drive so I could get home and have lunch.

As I got dressed and did my hair, I noticed her watching me. She usually lays on the bed as I get myself ready. I remember being a kid and lying on the bed watching my grandmother get dressed on Sunday mornings. My mother would be dressed or at least in her slip by the time we awoke, so I don't really remember her getting ready.

After I got dressed I put TR's clothes on. She wore her pink sweats, a white shirt with a ruffled collar and a green jacket. It got warm during our outing so she removed the jacket. Dressing her is pretty fun because she laughs, smiles and moves as we dress her. My brother was dressing her last week and he was laughing because she is so interactive.

Since she can hold her head I'm able to carry her around pretty easily, so we walked around the village to do our errands. We got home and hung out.

I enjoy her so much. What's also amazing is my new waking hours. I'm up and alert by 6 a.m most mornings, waiting for her to wake up. She sleeps well through- most nights but I'm still up waiting. If I get her when she starts moving around and holding her head up, she'll ususlly start out with a smile. She tries to give us time to get to her before she starts yelling.

She is up from her nap, streching, smiling, and surveying her environment. It's just great to watch her wake up. Babies grow, change and learn so fast and I'm enjoying this journey.

Pants on Fire

Liar, Liar.

I've concluded that some liars aren't actually lying to me, they are deluding themselves. They are interpreting reality in a way they need to deal with their set of facts. Their experiences might give us a different view on the same facts.

Two people can see the same picture and intrepret its meaning in totally different ways. Those two ways might be different from what the artist intended. I try to remind myself of this when I am told one thing but the facts would lead me to my own and different conclusion.

I'm sure there are things I say that might lead folks to think I exist in a different reality. Perception is reality. I watch the campaign and various commentary of it and often think republicans can't be real. They can't really think Palin is competent to be president. They have to think something is wrong with McCain for choosing her.

I do think waiting for the president to die is a great job for a mother with young kids. That's probably the best gig imaginable for a work from home mom.

By the by, TR's home state is neighbor to Mexico. In fact she could see Mexico and walk to it, if she were in San Diego. She is female. She is qualified to be V.P. nominee on the Republican ticket.

The next time I'm shaking my head exasperated about liars, yearning to call them out, I shall remember that perception is nine-tenths of reality.

Stay in Your Lane

I'd love to tell someone to stay in their lane but I'm not experiencing any conflicts. I'm a servant of God, wife, mother, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, business owner, thinker, nearly full time viewer of MSNBC election coverage and don't have the time to give to enemies or unfriendlies. Maybe someome will provide me with a brief opportunity to throw on my sassy coat, tilt my head and say, "stay in your lane." LOL. I can sooo see myself doing that.

I'm cheesing the cheesiest grin because I think Dawn and Q of making the Band are adorable. Ain't love grand? Isn't romance amazing? I AM a sucker for love.

Mr A made and gave me coupons for my birthday last year. The coupons included things like belly rubs (I was preggers and addicted to my belly rubs), breakfast in bed, various massage, instant forgiveness, romantic picnic, all day church event, etc. He basically made a book of things he knows I enjoy. Recently I had to turn in one of my instant forgiveness coupons. As soon as I handed it to him he laughed and smiled. I thought that was uber romantic, especially since I think no one should be mad at me for more than 5 minutes. I have one instant forgiveness left.

For the material centered folks, he also gave me other gifts. I was out of town that morning and when he picked me up at the airport he had the first gift sitting in the front seat with the coupons. At home was more gifts laid across our bed. I'll take a gift but the thought he put into it was the grandest part for me.

My sweetums still evokes that unexplainable thing in me. That thing that makes me know fairytale love is real, makes me acutely feel the strength of it emanating from the core of my body, not just my mind. I always knew it was real and would have been thoroughly single before I accepted anything other than my fairytale.

So often I thank God. When Mr A and I sit down to dinner and TR is sitting in her swing making her little baby noises I feel even more like we've been blessed with the (my) fairytale.

Anyway as I was watching Dawn and Q, my heart was smiling and I was smiling because I enjoy the love that is apparent in others. I appreciate that quiet love.

I did wonder why they let the camera men in. There have been many ocassions when I get lost in Mr A and tune everyone and everything out, but I don't know how that could happen if I walked in a room full of cameras.

Disclaimer: This is not intended to convey a message that fairytale love has some magical potion. Fairytale love is just part of our foundation.

In other things TR and I were in the airport and a woman stopped and asked her if that was her first flight. I laughed and told her it was more like her 5th or 6th. TR is a frequent traveller. I hate flying but she seems to love it.

Coupons

Today I used a coupon and yesterday I used a few coupons. I'm getting pretty good at the use of coupons. I enjoy seeing those savings on my reciept. The key for me is leaving the coupons in the car. Mr A and I are gaining mastery of the art of grocery shopping. Our schedule has fallen in sync with the recurring grocery sales.

I prefer Pavillons which is Safeway in the Bay Area. It's visually pleasing with nice warm colors. I also like Gelson's becaust its warm and doesn't feel at all like a grocery store. I rarely go to Gelson's. I'll go to Ralph's but I notice its usually crowded and has longer lines. I adore Trader Joe's and have never really shopped Whole Foods. I like to get local produce so I love Farmers Markets.

What I really love, although I'm too lazy to do it often, is the Santa Monica Farmer's Market. Imagine warm mornings, a beach breeze, calm air, blue skies, the ocean in eyes view and picking out farm fresh fruits and veggies. It feels almost unreal.

The A family is planning to do yoga Tuesday afternoon. TR seemed to enjoy herself and I think its important she get the stimulation and exercise. Yoga actually makes me want to take a nap, but its supposed to help a person stay youthful. I also like Bikram yoga, so maybe I'll hit one of those classes up too.

This has been so random.

Mommy & Baby (and daddy too)

The A family attended yoga today. I had the most fun during the baby yoga time. TR got wore out and though she struggled to remain awake she fell asleep a few moments after class ended.



The babies did streching exercises and this is the dance/rejoice time.
Mr A and TR have been doing this dance, I call it the 'flying carpet' at home. Her balance and his ability to keep her balanced are well-synced. Don't try this at home kids!

One of the actresses from Whi.te Chicks was in our class. I kept looking at her trying to figure out why she looked familiar. Her baby was 5 weeks. I'm sure she noticed me looking, I hope she doesn't think I'm a fan. There was another woman who laid down and her boobs stayed up. Her baby was 5 months and the woman had not a sliver of fat. She also wore a midriff top and yoga pants. I got distracted trying to figure out how she managed that. She also laid down on her side and breast fed. Because her boobs stayed so pert, she managed to do that feeding with extreme ease.

Mommy Wars

As a work from home mommy, I consider myself to be outside the mommy wars. I likely wouldn't engage in the warfare if I worked outside the home or if I was a SAHM. I do think kids benefit from day care but my mother said kids like to relax in their own home. When we were kids and before my mother became a SAHM, we had a woman come to our house to take care of us. Nowadays, they would call that a nanny but back then, it was called 'a woman who came to our house to take care of the kids.'

That's sorta like people in Beverly Hills have 'guest houses' but the folks in Compton have back 'houses.' It really is the same thing, both have kitchens, bathrooms, and bedrooms. Or maybe its like how the Rodeo in Beverly Hills is pronounced Rho-day-O, but the Rodeo off Crenshaw is pronouced Row- Dee- O.

I digress. Since TR doesn't have the opportunities day care offers my goal is to provide her with similiar options. She'll do yoga for exercise, I found a music workshop for infants and the next session starts next month, I located a Spanish for babies and a few other interesting things. While these activities provide exposure to different things, mommy needs to get out the house on a more regular basis and that's more of a driving force than anything else.

I'm distracted now and don't feel like re-reading. Have a lovely weekend.

Alaska's Largest Rally

Women against Palin. 1400 people came out.

http://bigshow.bigfolio.com/?s=000011662&t=0e6a8ae03101be65098418ccb735e4a1

Dancing Machine

TR and I got back to L.A. on Sunday night. TR is a great passenger. So far on every flight she has fallen asleep right before take off and if she wakes up during the flight, she'll fall asleep before the descent could make her ears pop. She's usually awake when we touch down. So far flying with her has worked out great.

She was asleep when we arrived at the airport in L.A. Later that night Mr A was getting her ready for bed and when she awoke, she saw him, looked at him in slight surprise and she started dancing. Literally dancing and laughing. She had one leg moving up and down and one arm moving with her leg movements. I saw all of Mr A's teeth and all of TR's gums. They were very happy to see each other. We were in Oakland for 4 days, and it seems she was missing her daddy.

Had I known she was going to do all that, I would have had my camera ready.

Mr A told me to be sure that I blog about TR's enjoyment of football. I don't know how it happened but whenever the sport is on t.v. or when we're at a game, she is engaged. If we turn the t.v. from football she'll either holler or turn from the t.v.

In other things it appears TR's bank is on the brink of failure. My mother just recently opened the account for her. When TR is an old woman she'll be able to tell her grandbabies that she went to the polling station to vote for Obama and that her first bank account failed, and she wasn't even a year old. She's living an amazing part of history.

So Muuuuuch

I've been quite busy, so busy that its too much to blog about. I've been enjoying myself.

I don't practice criminal law but- as a favor or at annoying levels of arm twisting- I'll be Johnetta Cochran. I explain that the odds might be better with a public defender over me - a civil attorney. I think if folks want to commit crimes they need to keep a legal defense fund.

I won my first criminal trial which was also my first jury trial 2 years ago. A few of the jurors were crying and most came to hug and congratulate my client afterwards. I'm pretty good with the spoken word- if I must say so myself.

This most recent criminal matter was dismissed. I've advised the client that I'm done. Any more criminal matters will be handled without my assistance. Hopefully he'll pay me the remainder of my money and stay out of trouble.

Hopefully people will stay out of trouble so I can focus on the work I enjoy, representing the kiddies. Having folks freedom attached to my work is not fun.

TR spent much of the week with my mom. I was working so hard I barely got to hold her. I think I prefer a week or two of a hectic work schedule and a few months of down time. The up time gets my blood pumping and I enjoy the fruits during the down times.

On Saturday my chapter went to see The Familly that Preys and then to lunch. We skipped the movie and did lunch. It was so much fun. Sisterly activities is major highlight of sorority involvement. I keep missing events put on here in L.A. but one day, I'll make one.

On Friday my mom, TR and I went to Stockton (about 80 miles from Oakland) for a funeral. Prior to the service we went to breakfast. At the restaurant, I discovered where many of the working class Oakland blacks had gone. It was amazing. Black people are so mobile. I don't know if that's always a good thing, since a lot of the migration is to locate a cheaper cost of living.

Stockton is also an area with an extremely high rate of foreclosure. Even though people moved there for cheaper living, it apparently wasn't cheap enough. It must be awful to lose a home in the middle of what used to be orchards and pastures. Farmland had to die so cheap -and now empty- mcmansions could be built. Now we all have to pay more for produce because it has to be transported further.

I wonder where the people who have to move, move to? I also wonder if black people are the biggest victims of this? We always get in at the end of pyramid schemes. I know that the areas in CA with the highest foreclosures, such as Stockton and Riverside County are also the areas where the black people were moving to.

stuff

mr a and i are at a h.s. football game. watching the kids has made me fondly reflect on my h.s. years. it has also made me realize how fat kids are these days. i remember only one chunky cheerleaderr the entire time i was in school. everyone else was slender, no skinnies either. by chunky i mean she had rolls and meat on her frame. i saw a pic of her last week and she was obese. she's also living in the south so maybe she might do a'ight.
anyway..... on this squad the meaty/roll girls outweigh the average. the 2 slim girls consist of a blond and an asian. everyone else is latina. i've read that black women may all be obese fairly soon. i blame the terms bigboned and thick for this. as for the latinos, i think they may be hitting 90% obese by the end of next week.

when tr starts going to h.s. games i'll be sure to deliver decent snacks to she and her friends. these kids are here buying pizza hut pizza, snicker bars
and soda.

there are lots of young couples in our neighborhood. i think there must be fertility juice in the water because there are a good number of babies. its more like 1-2 per couple not 3-4 per home. our neighbor has a baby who just turned one. she and i and our daughters, went on a walk around the neighborhood. it was fun. we both want to maintain figures. if i i fall apart i hope its after 55. i want to be the attractive mommy even if i'm an old one. at a minimum i'd like to be fit 'till my kids are out of college.

the neighjbor also pays 125 a week for child care at a family day care and told me that's low. she also had a latina lady who would come to her home for 160. but unless i'm home to supervise i'd want a real caregiver. i'm glad i work from home.

whats weird is now that i live in a neighborhood where so many neighbors walk i think its odd to live somewhere where the neighbors don"t get out. we may have to move to berkeley when we transition because that's a city that has areas similiar to our l.a. neighborhood.

i have a pic, i have to figure out how to upload. the high school is in a pretty nice location

Messy

I've been involved in government matters since my teen years.

A few years ago Oakland elected a mayor and I knew the city would experience turmoil. I blogged about it. I'll have to find the link. Here it is!

Under the current mayor, Oakland now has 1) folks robbing folks of their laptops in public places like restaurants and on Bart and 2) robbers going to the 'nice' areas and taking over restaurants and robbing people. The robbers don't even bother putting masks on, they know Oakland Police won't be looking for them.

I'm convinced this awful mayor was elected because the strongest othy er candidate was Mexican. The Mexican candidate is great and committed to the city. I was walking in support of the Mexican mayor and people expressed the fear that if he was electerd the Mexicans would prosper.

People are okay to suffer, to prevent another group/person from prospering.

I hope this doesn't happen in our presidential election. I was watching CNN's Campbell Brown interview some man named Tucker. Instead of him answering her questions he just continued to beat the point that Palin has more experience than Obama. Did McCain really pick her just so he could jump back on the experience topic.

It seems republicans primary concern is controlling the lives of others. No abortion, no gay marriage, no sex ed. God has granted us free will, but I guess the republicans think they are bigger than God because they want to take free will away.

I have to watch as Oakland tanks. I hope the hate people hold won't mean I have to watch as the country tanks- further than where Bush has tanked it.

I'm frustrated by the madness and will be purging my mind of the mess. It's all too confusing. I'll just remain prayerful and believe God hears.

Unlike some of the republicans I won't be praying that torrential rains interrupt the lives of anyone.

Edit: After reading that old post I'm now inspired to post about the corruption. How the city manager and apparently a few other city people, were interfering in police investigations and arrests of their drug dealing, organized crime operating relatives.

Lies, Deceit, Cover-Ups- Palin is the grandma

We've had enough lies, deceit and cover-ups with Bush and Cheney administration.


Palin seems equipped to continue the deceit.


Palin was in Texas delivering the keynote speech at an energy conference when she says she went into early labor to her special needs child. Instead of going to a hospital she hopped a flight from Texas to Alaska. That flight would be about 6 hours.

The rule of thumb is, each child you give birth to, comes faster than the last. After 4 kids baby number 5 should have popped out. She got on a flight and none of the airline personnel were aware she was pregnant or in labor.

Then she goes back to work 3 days after giving birth.

http://www.adn.com/626/story/382864.html


This all sounds bizarre. It makes more sense if Palin is covering up and pretending the babe is hers when it is really her 16 year old daughters.

We are no longer in the 40's/50's. What is the point of the lies? Is this just something the non-sex having pro-life folks do? If its true we'll know for sure that McCain is an idiot. He didn't even take time to google the woman. If you google her, you will find that these questions have existed since April 2008.

TR for VICE PRESIDENT

We used to joke that TR was going to be Obama's running mate.

With the pick of Palin, I now realize that I should have given TR's name to McCain. She's a proven fighter, a change agent. Being born isn't easy. You have to be the one sperm out of the masses to reach the egg. You have to survive as your mommie's natural body chemistry attempts to destroy you. She has changed a lot since moving in with us, she's added hours of fun.

The only difference bewteen TR and Palin is TR probably would have turned the position down. Although she could appeal to women and the youth vote, she'd likely tell McCain it would be unfair to leave the country in the hands of someone unprepared to run a country.

I won't be voting for McCain but if he happened to win, is it really fair to put Palin in charge of the country he says he puts first. Everyone better get their 5 million together and bank it overseas.

Ick on Solange

I'm sure its hard being straight up and down skinny when your sister is curvy Beyonce. But being rude for no reason and lacking the skills to be rude while still coming off as sweet shows she needs Papa Knowles to train her in media savvy.

Check out "Solange's Akward Moment" http://www.fox5vegas.com/video/17313509/index.html

By the By, she called Jay Z her brother-in-law. Was she trying to give their 'secret' away?

Let Us Pray- My Confessions

I need to better with discipline. Discpline is key. At church Sunday, a visiting minister said "Destiny requires discipline."

I have a vision of my Bel Air home and discipline is the only thing that has prevented me from already owning it.

I don't believe there is anything I (or anyone else) can't achieve, its a matter of being willing to go after it and going after it with diligence.

My brother recently got the permits and approvals he needed to start a particular business. Everyone- including the folks who have to issue the approvals- has been quite surprised by how smoothly he went through the process. It usually takes folks a few years to get through. He is diligent and disciplined as a habit and got through each phase in under the timelines. This is also a business where lots of folks finish the process than lose their licenses because they don't remain disciplined.

I think my being the youngest affected my discipline. My mom is exceedingly discplined and organized. She is on top of everything. My sister is disciplined and organized. My brother does go on hiatus every now and again but he works so hard doing his up times that things don't fall apart when he shuts down. My father is disciplined in regards to certain things, most specifically his health. He eats healthy, works out and keeps active.

I think my lack of discipline is more about birth order. The youngest sorta floats.

I too can be disciplined. I'm not, but I can be.

While I could and want to hold TR all day, I want her to learn discipline through my example. Mr A is super duper disciplined but I don't want her to associate discipline as solely a man quality . One thing I realize about being disciplined is the people who have it, make the job they are doing look easy. Folks will want what they have and not realize they are actually consistent in keeping it easy.

My mom used to work at a school and she made her job look super easy. One of the young teachers went back to school and got a Masters so she could get the job my mom had. She was actually plotting. My mother was offered another position at a different school, which she gladly took and the young teacher became the resource specialist.

After a few months the older teachers told my mom that the young teacher was overwhelmed in that position. Her case load was huge and it was hugely time consuming. That young teacher didn't know that if my mom can't sleep, she doesn't lay there wishing for sleep. She gets up and does something that needs to be done. She didn't percieve her job to be 8:30 to 2:45. She didn't put anything off. She'd work from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. without complaint. She was organized, disciplined and diligent.

She never looks at anyone else and complains about what they aren't doing, she'll just do it and keep moving. I've never heard her blame anyone for why something didn't get done. She will figure out a way to make it happen. My brother is the same way.

That is discipline. That is how I'm going to be. Self-disciplined. When you are disciplined you don't have to suffer the consequences of a lack of discipline.

What are we praying for? No, not that I'll be disciplined. I know God has given me the strength to do it. It's on me to do it. We're praying that these folks quit acting silly and stingy and this case settles for a huge amount, and I can move on with my life.

Crack Wacks

I'd like to send my thanks once again to my dear cousin who shared this laugh with me.

Apparently Jo Jo, crack and concert tours don't mix well.

Hillarious!!!!!


Hurry, you know how folks like to demand the funniest stuff be removed.

Man Shortage

I now know why Atlanta is experiencing a man shortage.

Some women apparently have a husband, a boyfriend and "company".
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/08/22/boyfriend_confronts_couple.html?imw=Y

The Next Time..........

I have $1000 to burn, this is where I will be. Then I'll take myself to lunch. The total will probably be @$600, but I need $1000 to burn because I like to have money left over.

http://www.damoneroberts.com

I'll let an ar-tist go at my brows.


http://www.warrentricomi.com.

I want a great cut.

Domestic Designs

One of my desires is to be a domestic (looking for any word other than Diva, why are folks who label themselve diva generally uncute?) ...................... powerhouse.

Last night I made shrimp and sausage jambalya from scratch. Zatarains mix stayed on the shelf. For dessert I made Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Pie. I even made us a late lunch. I'm doing quite well in my homemaker goals. Mr A loved everything I made.

My ultimate goal is to be the mommy that prepares breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for her kids. When we were kids we only ate out on Saturdays, after events, and never fast food. My grandmother loved to cook and and my mother always had something prepared for us.

I know we had fast food chains as children, but for some reason it seemed like folks had more time back then. Maybe its because my mom and grandmothers were stay at home folks. I look at kids now and they are always in a rush. Eating in the car and running busy lives.

When we were in Jr. High, my mom would make us sandwiches to eat on our way to our afterschool piano lessons. Other than that, when we were out, we'd stop at a park and have a little picnic. She seemed to have so much time, just for us kids.

My grandmothers always had full meals with left overs prepared everyday, except Saturday. Now wives- including me- are bringing home food to feed the family. Is there r eally less time? Are we just worse at managing it? What the heck is going on?

I also want to be great at keeping the family organized. My mom said kids like structure so I'm sure that's why she was so together raising stairstep kids. Being a classroom teacher to 30 kids prior to having her own probably gave her invaluable experience in organizing us.

I want to give my child(ren) the type of childhood I had.

Before TR arrived, I had visions of my baby in the back of the car, in her car seat, kicking her feet and making baby noises. I also envisioned the baby in sunglasses- I have yet to find a pair for her. Now I envision her with her a sippy cut, dropping crumbs and saying baby words. I envision her and our other children having conversations and me chuckling at how kids operate. I envision all this happening in our Bel Air and Oakland Hills home.

Mr A and I have concluded that we're going to live in both cities.

These are my domestic and family designs.

Laboring

S30's posts inspired me to pick up a formal prayer journal. I've had it nearly a month and have yet to write. Rome wasn't built in a day. I used to write in my 'faith book' but it was nothing major. It had things like monthly facials. At over $100 for a service, plus plane ticket, car rental and hotel- it took faith to believe I could keep that up.

I think writing my prayers and then reviewing them will be a great thing. Most things are a process it's sorta easy to forget where you started from.

S3o posted something today that also inspired me. Something like labor is intense but you know you are about to deliver.

I've been dreading starting back to work and having to get back on this time intensive case. The other party wants to settle but I haven't even been willing to call to get on that. I will do it today.

Thanks S30!!

Mommy Leave

I've been enjoying my time off so much that I don't want to return to work life.

I stopped working for about 9 months starting a little before Mr A and I got married, after a few months I wante to exercise the brain cells beyond dinner preparations.

I can hold TR all day so this time off is much different. I've decided to work 3 days a week, which includes a 1/2 day of work on Friday. I might have Saturday hours as well. That schedule will leave no time for slacking.

I've had my work on hold since mid-April. I'm scheduled to retun in September. In my mid-twenties mode of thinking, I'd be back at work already but 1) if I was dead folks would move on like I'd never lived and 2) TR is my top priority child now. I luvvs the kiddies, but I've got my own now.

Fortunately I can make most of my appearances by phone, so I can stay home. But the mental seperation will be trying.

I thing being a mom is going to make me rougher and less inclined to BS. That's a good thing.

Live and Let Die- an ode to old wives

I get a lot of folks who come to my blog via a search on 'old mammas.' When I was a kid my grandmother and mother informed me that folks who have their first baby when old are generally overprotective and act as if their baby will break. They can sometimes act as if they are the first woman in the universe to have a child.

My aunt is raising her grandchild because her daughter passed said, you can tell the difference because the young mothers take their babies into the world earlier.

This post is about women who wed when old. I was also an older bride. Old brides can be the worst. A proposal and 4 days of marriage can often make them believe they are a relationship expert. If you ask them why if they know so much they were single so long- after they curse you out they will explain they had not met one they were compatible with.

Yet in the breath before that, they tell other women they are single because they are broken, don't know how to recoginze, get or keep a good man.

Get it? They were old brides because they were choosy, but you are single because you aren't
fab and well-adjusted like they are. Either way you lose they win.

Then some old brides will beat the word and variations of the word husband bloody. They forget you knew their hubby name before he was husband. He lost it, because she needs her M.R.S. to be acknowledged.

That's as dumb as me calling myself doctor 'cause I have a doctorate, if someone needs medical attention, my title means 0 to them. Just like folks M.R.S. means 0 to anyone other than their mate.

What the hades I care about someone's opinion on marriage? I don't own any stock in the general institution. I don't need others to desire it to validate me. Heck they'll probably be more same sex marriages in CA than opposite. I'm not offended by how folks choose to configure their stuff. How am I personally affected if people think marriage is .......... whatever they think it is. It's all ego.

Antyway, these are just my random observations. I try not to be that annoying know it all and let folks live and let my opinion (cuz everyone has one) die. I'm about to make lunch for me and my husband( pronounced huz-band, please elongate the z)

Stuff

I try to post about other stuff.

Then- just like now- I look at my baby strech in her sleep and its curtains for any other thoughts.

I listen to her make her cooing sounds and its a mommy post. Then she wakes up and it sit her on my knees and she looks at me and moves her mouth, (I think in imitation of my mouth) as I'm talking to her and that's how I want to spend my day. She smiles and laughs, even if its sometimes gas, and I feel like I won a billion dollars. I would say a million but ya'll know a billion is the new black.

HighLife

Mr A and I went to Oakland on Friday. His fantasy football league met in Sac on Saturday, so TR and I got to spend time with my mom and siblings. Mr A's fantasy league friends are the same guys from his yearly ski trip. The same group he was skiing with when we met.

I had planned to give TR a bath before we left home but that didn't work out. On Saturday I told my mom she needed a bath and asked if she had a tub we could use. Solution: my mom helped me take a bath with TR. She brought her in once I was situated and got her out when TR was squeaky clean. That bath was so much fun. That was living the high life. TR got to play in the water and she seemed to enjoy herself too. She loves bath time.

Once TR got out, I made the water piping hot and got some nice relaxation time.

We're that family that comes together after church every Sunday for dinner. After dinner my brother and I decided to venture over to the home of my mom's newest neighbor. Her former neighbor died and the new folks bought last month. They were having a housewarming and had a fire truck parked at the house. After the truck was there an hour I figured the new owner must be a fireman.

The new neighbors are a cute young couple. She a nurse and he a fireman. There were lots of young fireman and about 3 young women. Perhaps they'll get married and have kids soon, then TR will have a playmate when she visits her grandma.

First of All...... I'm The Bomb

I am the bomb- I know this and am not scared to acknowledge this, but I also love the part of Brandy's song where she sings those words. Check it out, its linked on the side, Then she goes through the numbers on the 'LIST'. CUTE!!

I've been a Brandy fan since watching her first video on 'The Box". Whatever happened to the Box? I loved that channel. I just read the wiki snippet. MTV/Viacom bought the box. Smart move because I quit watching MTV once the box started. Box was real music all the time. MTV was falling off even in the 90's. I remember the Box had interviews with TLC, College Boyz and other groups before the overcontrolled radio and music t.v. got them. Those first interviews would be so very different than when MTV got them.

Thank goodness for the internet. Once again real artists can get out there. We're no longer stuck with just the artists labels and radio decide to force on us.
You gotta go to youtube and check out the videos by souljaboy and ice-t, on their beef. They are both idiots. Its evident that the beats are what sells, much of the music lyrics are a waste of pen to paper. Victimizing trees- needlessly.

For Rich or Richer

Shaunie and Shaq are on the mend.

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/state/content/gen/ap/BKN_ONeal_Divorce.html

Some folks just need a little distance to recognize what's up. Get it together!!

Girls Day Out

TR, our borrow child-girl and I had girls day starting Tuesday.

Mr A picked up his goddaughter on Tuesday and we proceeded to hang out.

One of our events included some time at Kenneth Hahn Park. This is a cute park and the idea is great. However, I'm from Oakland- land of the Oak, and am used to natural parks, mountains and real redwood forests and oak trees. We are blessed to have the Bay and the Mountains within eye sight of each other. The bay breeze and the trees helps it remain cooler in the mountains, making outdoor activity more pleasurable. I'm sure developers will destroy it in the next 20 years but I grew up with that. The Kenneth Hahn park was a cute man-made take on a real park, and I tried not to turn my nose up.

Us girls walked along the manmade stream and waterfall. It's quite lovely visually. The only problem was the litter bug people. We didn't get as far as the man made lake.

The goal of being at the Park, was to attend a Mocha Mom meeting. That goal will have to be fulfilled another day.

We spent two days at American Girl Place. Our borrow child loved that place- it was her first time going. I love it too. Mr A wanted to buy her a doll last Christmas but I told him those dolls would be to expensive for her mother to maintain.

I told my own mother that I want her to take TR (when she is older) and me there for high tea. When I explained the whole concept to my mother, especially the doll hospital, pricey hair salon, and a restaurant that provides chairs and place settings for the dolls she asked me if I was in Beverly Hills. She liked it and said she would come.

We hit the Grove before 2 p.m on Wednesday and I figured that would be a good time. It was not, the place was packed. On Tuesday we were there closer to 5 and it was fairly quiet. One of the best things about my work schedule is being able to avoid after work crowds, however it seems like everybody is on the same work schedule at the spots I like to frequent, so I'm still battling for parking spaces and such.

I had a fun day hanging with the girls and doing girl stuff. I had a baby and a 10 year old. That's a great mixture. The 10 year old was a great help and made transporting the babe much easier.

Westside Insulation

I think I posted about my opposition to the city of L.A. banning fast food chains in certain areas of the city. Well yesterday at church my eyes were assaulted and I realized how the ban might be beneficial. I am no longer opposed.

On Friday I met up with Marvelous Mwabi- who was here visiting from KY. We journeyed to a cute little area in L.A. and had a Jamba Juice. We stopped in Pinkberry but I'm only willing to eat there if I have a coupon.

I remember yogurt shops were popular when I was a kid. They disappeared but just like the 80's fashion, they are making a comeback. Unlike the yogurt spots of my childhood, the Pink.berry prices are ridiculous, especially considering how small the fruit is. A shaved ice is $7.25.

TR and I enjoyed spending the afternoon with Mrs. Mwabi. Heyyyyy Mwabi.

On Saturday we hosted another bar-b-que. The turn out was good but we still have meat for days. Mr A started preparing his bbq sauce on Friday and it was a major hit.

TR was invited to her first party so before she and I went to our own q, we went to the 1st birthday celebration of our neighbor. TR slept through it but I had a nice time. The cupcakes were fantastic. I realize I'm not the youngest mom but those moms were even longer in tooth. It appears we won't be the oldest parents dropping our kids off at kindergarten.

Life on the Westside is so different. I witnessed two women comparing their boob jobs and looking at the lines where the doctors cut. These two women were married, in their 40's and had kids around 9.

As we were leaving church on Sunday, the woman sitting next to Mr A, told me I had a fine baby. I guess she appreciated the lack of crying. TR gave one little scream but that was all. After church we attempted to visit our borrow children. They weren't home.

We stopped by the borrow kids grandmothers house and she proceeded to inform me that the fat of bearing children would hit me when I got older. She told me I'd gotten hippy. I've always had hips, and a trunk of junk. Then she told me I had a bit of a tummy. I didn't point out that she was holding my infant which would explain my bit of tummy.

Thank goodness I'm not self conscience or of thin skin. I just think she was peeved that she couldn't look at me and say 'wow' you fell apart like my daughters did.'

My Life in the Sunshine

California Sunshine that is.

I don't want your life. I'm loving the one I'm living. I have total control (as strengthed by God) over my life. So if I thought your life was so worthy of having I'd get out my xerox and copy it.

Everynow and again I'll discuss with one of my California born and bred folks about how we'd hate to live somewhere else. Else does not including NYC, Paris, Tokyo, type places. We'll discuss the few folks who moved hollering about the hig cost of living and an inability to get A, B or C done. Ironically they usually go wherever they go and still live regular lives. Basically we wouldn't go somewhere based on a low cost of living. We'd rather earn more money.

Then I'll recall a discussion I had where someone said they didn't know how folks could live in places like CA, DC, NYC. I was perplexed and after some dialogue, I realized they really had a true affection for their location. They weren't there by default. Part of the discussion included silly stuff like folks in these cities eat bologna sandwhiches while they can go out to dine. But I'll let that part go. Folks who are trained to think poor think everyone is poor

I was listening to the radio last night. The host has a blog and people were arguing about the best whiskey. I guess the fight turned ugly. Her response was, "whatever Whiskey you like best, is the best whiskey."

When I'm judging folks I try to recognize that my preference does not need to be what everyone elsr prefers. They are not wrong, pitiful, classless or whatever for having a different opinion.

God did not make us originals so we could spend our time becoming a copy.

I still talk about folks, but I do it with these guidelines in mind.

What the HAY?

Yesterday at the grocery store I picked up a magazine on grilling. I figured it would be about 5 dollars. I got home, looked at the reciept and saw $9.95. I will definitely utilize these recipes. They look pretty tasty.

I had fun visiting Mr A at practice. He introduced TR to the other coaches and kids. The boys were doing some type of drill. I watched as 50 or so boys ran towards my baby at their top speed as Mr A held her. That startled me for a moment. I just had to hope none of them lost balance. Mr A gave TR instructions on how to yell at the kids when she coached them. I thought that was prety funny. I love listening to their conversations.

TR and I went to Kmart in what ended as an unsucessful search to find her a few elastic headbands. Nothing big, just the thin little satin bands. After being in the store 5 minutes, she demanded food. I went into the dressing room to nurse. She took her sweet time dining.

Later on we hit the grocery store, our final stop. She had started screaming around Wilshire and Labrea (I think that was Labrea) and it got louder as I pulled into the garage of the grocery store. She ate again as we sat in the car. All these food breaks prolonged our time out.

TR and I got home after 7 p.m. yesterday. Mr A prepared a wonderfully tasty meal of grilled steak with carmelized peppers and some sort of wine reduction- his own creation with pasta and green beans on the side. I adore green beans. I'll have to step it up tonight. I already have lunch figured out but dinner is a mystery to me.

I might actually enjoy going to football practice. I even ran into another wife that I knew and we chatted. She was waiting in her car. She is mom to 4 kids and her 4th was a preemie girl. It was nice talking to her. I took my lawn mat yesterday but in the future I'll take the lawn chair, my book and snacks. We'll have a once a week- summertime picnic.

Days Of Our Lives

I had court in the Bay on Monday (yesterday) so Mr A and I decided that TR and I would make an extended weekend up there. I got to spend time with my mom who I miss and she got to spend time with TR- whom she misses. On Friday TR (her first flight) and I went to Oakland. TR was a great on the plane. I saw those folks with the looks of dread, fearing we'd sit near them. HA! Before that flight was over we were recieving smiles and questions.

My mom picked us up at the airport. Her usual airport greeting includes an instruction for whatever child to kiss her. I had TR in her sling and this time she told me to hand her over. TR has an Oakland car seat/stroller (gift from my father) and an L.A. car seat/stroller (gift from my mother) so my mother held her while I got the seat-I'd never seen and hadn't read up on- adjusted. I had to wake my mother up at midnight to demand my kiss.

I finally got to see the diaper cake my sister gave us. It was packed with treats and quite lovely. It's also about 6 tiers so we'll bring it home the next time Mr A comes to Oakland. My brother's godmother also gave us gifts of clothes. I didn't check bags, and came back with so much for TR that I had to leave my own clothes in Oakland.

Saturday was the Cancer Relay walk with my sorority. I attended with my sister and cousin. The event was lots of fun. Hanging with the ladies is always ripe for good times. I got to catch up with my cousin who is home from med school and I got the latest gossip. The sorors didn't get to meet TR because she was home with my mom.

Prior to going to the walk, my cousins and aunt stopped by to see TR. TR loves people so they all had a good time. Sunday she got to meet the folks at church and a couple of my mom's cousins from Florida who happened to be there. She was surrounded by folks and handled herself very well. She tried to meet and greet everyone.

On Monday she came to court with me. They usually ban babies but they let her stay inside. At one point she made a litttle noise and the baliff made my mom take her into the interview room. I hadn't planned to go back to work so soon but the client did a little pleading as he apologized for jacking up my mommy leave. I wasn't about to leave TR at home so he got the both of us. I'd been continuing the matter since June and having other folks appear for me, but it was time to move forward.

I've been having a bit of a love hate, more hate relationship with Mr's A football coaching. This football is a true committment of time. It's worse than a job -to me- but he loves it and he feels he is having an impact on some ruffian kids- black boys lives.

Anyway........ I've decided to be more supportive, incorporate football into my life, and get more sun. The school is near a great shopping area, its near quite a few hollywood hot spots. I'd name them but ya'll know some bloggers get too involved in the story. I may even start taking snacks for the kids and coaches.

Today I'm going to try and find TR a skirt to go with the lovely onesies my sis got her at our Centennial Celebration. I'll likely stop by the book store and then TR and I will be going to watch Mr A coach those boys.

Mr A is grilling steaks later this evening, so I'll go pick those up on the way home. Thanks to the heat and his love of cooking Mr A is doing lots of grilling.

This morning we recieved a package. My brother who is in NYC, overnighted us Red Velvet Cake from Make My Cake.

He said the owner threw a mini fit when she discovered his plan. The owner said the cake is made fresh and they had not perfected a shipping technique to maintain that freshness and taste. She did not want them shipped and told him that he should have told her his plan before he bought them. That is loving her profession- she wants to guarantee the taste.. I noticed the shipping cost was a little over $40. That's a good brother I've got. I cringe every time I use a 42 cent stamp. He also overnighted my mom a whole cake.

And these are the Days of Our Lives.

Golly Gosh

It's August 1st.

Time is flying by at Concorde jet speed.

Aaaarrrrggghh

My girlfriend has been working on Disn.ey's firs.t b.lack princ.ess. I was aware of how difficult it was for Disney to make that movie because it had to be approved by so many sects of black people. She shared with me some of the ridiculous (she didn't call them ridiculous) measures Disney took to make a movie, that will probably still make folks upset and feel unrepresented. The writers were actually sending scripts to various black folks to get their opinions and made script changes based on what those opinions were. So the creative vision of the film got destroyed by opinions.

The movie had been Madd.y the Fr.og Prin.cess, but folks started complaining about her name being Maddy and not pretty like the other Di.sney Princess'. Her name was Madelaine and she is from N.O. Then an uproar on why she had to be a frog princess. They changed the name to Tia.na and of course complaints began that the name was very ethnic.

Sorta like the CNN special- which I didn't watch, but am near vomit level at the number of useless complaints concerning it. CNN failed to get the consensus of various black sects and people were displeased. Folks were complaining about that "Our Kind of People" book because it didn't represent black people well. Folks complained about the Cosby show because of blah blah blah, folks complained about the Good Times because of blah blah blah. We just complain.

How about not consuming the product and spending your money on what you like. It's like this madness with the fast food ban in L.A. If people want to be fat and greasy on the inside and out, let them. Why should the gov't be so paternalistic?


I look forward to the day when black folks can just be. Be without attempting to prove they do or don't exist within a stereotype. Then one day everyone else will realize we aren't of one thought, don't need a leader and our entertainment options won't have to fit into a formula before receiving a green light.

I could go on, but life is too short to spend time complaining and being annoyed.

FAME

My high school was a performing arts magnet. It was also one of the best in the Bay Area for athletics. I lived in the area and that was my talent.

From my 3 years of high school I can look and see many of my classmates followed their dreams. I turn on my t.v. or radio and hear folks I know or recognize. I was very pleased to see Ledisi get a grammy nomination. She was a senior when I was a sophomore and I always hoped she'd be recognized for her talent. I'm so glad she preservered. The world deserves to hear her voice.

When gospel choir would travel to do performances, we'd always request that she sing For The Good of Them. I thought kids needed to be blessed with her voice. She didn't sing to showcase her vocal chords, it was from the heart.

I'd be in choir singing my teenage heart out and near tears, in fact most of the choir would be in tears when she was done. Her voice was so sincere, so powerful, so amazing. She was so tired of singing that song but we'd always request it.

It's amazing how long it can take real talent to receive recognition and a true gift to gain acceptance. I think its a must to have the drive to continue when obstacles present themselves.
The folks who seem to get 'it' easy, aren't always the best, they aren't even the most driven or worthy. Sometimes depending on what the 'it' is, they were the ones willing to compromise first. They were the ones willing to sell, give away or barter whatever they needed to get 'it'. They were the ones willing to float instead of rise to their personal best. They aren't the ones who gain longevity.

I had other classmates, who got record deals and would miss days in class due to touring. Those careers evaporated pretty quickly. Then they found themselves entangled with labels and not even owning their name.

It may have taken my scholmate a while to get her foot in the door but I noticed her voice has grown and I recently read an article and it appears she has grown as an individual and gained an ability to master the business and maintain her musical and personal integrity. Sometimes the wait is a blessing. Sometimes the wait might be the thing you need to test your commitment to your goal. If you let it go, did you really want 'it'?

Chuuch

Our weekend was lovely.

We hit the Grove on Friday and had dinner in the Farmer's Market. TR rode in my sling and she got a great deal of attention. I never realized how much interest babies evoke in strangers.
TR seems to be social like her dad so she didn't mind the attention.

I've always liked babies that I know , but I was unprepared to be approached and questioned by so many strangers. People were all up in my sling. 'Pregnant women and babies are people magnets. I admit to getting excited today when I saw a pregnant woman. I loved carrying TR and seeing the woman made me reminisce fondly.

We went to American Girl Place and TR got checked out like she was a doll. I think the sling adds to the fascination. Other parents were pushing their baby in cadillac strollers and a few had the bjorns, and I imagine our contraption is less familiar therefore automatically interesting. Someone even asked me if I had a real baby in there. I heard one woman tell her child I was a good mommy because I carried my baby.

On Saturday, Mr A worked his magic on the grill. One of our neighbors was over and told Mr A that he needs to be on one of those Food Network shows.

Mr A cooks/grills with total love and does something special with the meat. I'd tell his secret ingredients but our retirement job might be some type of restaurant, so the method has to be protected. Another neighbor came by with homemade guacomale dip and chicken wings. He marinates his chicken in plain yogurt. Mr A grilled the chicken. It was tender and um um good. The dip was amazingly tasty.


Sunday was church and TR was Mr A's passenger. TR was great in church. After service we hit Costco. Observing the reactions to Mr A transporting TR was very interesting. I got a little perturbed when 3 women stopped him by the zip loc bags. Then I recalled that when I woild see a handsome man caring for his cute baby, I'd oooooh, awwwweee and have little heart thumps. The world is a sexist place and I have sexist inclinations too. Yes.............. I just called Mr A handsome and TR cute.

Mr A and I have a game of monopoly to finish. I think I'm winning. He has more cash but I have the most expensive properties with hotels on them.

Have a blessed week.

Smile

TR had her first photo shoot today. The photographer came to the house and we had a good time watching it happen. The photographer was great. She wore her pink kimono.

Mr A has been putting our grill to good use. He got it at the beginning of July and we've used it 3 weekends and at least one week night this month. One night he grilled pork chops and they were amazing. The last time he used it, he made us dinner for a few days and one of our neighbors brought crabcakes for us to grill. He's been using wood- instead of charcoal- and the food tastes yummy.

He'll be grilling again tomorrow and TR and I will be sitting outside watching him do his thing.

Sunday will be our first trip to church with the newest addition to our family. Well...... we went all the time when she was my passenger but ya know what I'm saying.

Have a beautiful weekend.

ROMANCE..

...is about the possibility of the thing. From the time when you first meet some fine ass woman... To the time you make love to her. From the time you first propose to her. To the time you say I do. When people who have been together for a long time say that the romance is dead....naah......they just exhausted the possibilities. LOVE JONES.

I am a romantic and if there's a cure for this I don't want it, if there's a remedy, I run from it. Check out my newest song of the moment- Love Hangover. I won't attempt to describe what romance is for me, words would only diminish the truth of it.

This week Mr A and I went on our first couple outing/date since TR came home. It was a lovely afternoon/evening. We started missing TR towards the end of our evening, so it was great getting back to the house to be with her. This was the first time she was without one of us and I expected her to be kicking a slight fit.

When we arrived she was hanging out with my mother and my great aunt and she barely glanced at us. Oh well....... having her receive me with open and waiting arms was just my fantasy. I'm pleased that she didn't spend the entire evening fretting over the absence of mommy and daddy.

We hit the same area of our very first (alone) date but a different restaurant and we didn't go to Jamba Juice. Revisiting that spot was pretty - heart flutter- cool. Nearly 4 years after that first date, we were back in the same place, having our first date as parents. I guess that is what O.prah might call a full circle moment.

The most romantic and heart moving moment for me was my telling Mr A I had a belly ( not a big belly but I went from flat to round). Mr A pulled me close and told me I was beautiful and so was my belly. When he was done speaking softly in my ear, my heart was smiling. Sincere expressions of love and acceptance are romance for me.

TR got her immunizations and now that we are clear to hit the streets, I'll be getting this body back in condition. I love looking in the mirror and knowing I look good. Even more I love looking in full length mirror and realizing I look fabulous to be mommy to a newborn. Once I get in tip top form we can get to work on a sibling for TR.

I've got a video of TR and Mr A dancing that I want to post. More stuff that makes my heart smile. Check your emails for a link or if I figure out how to password protect- the password.

Far East Fashions

My sis made a shopping trip to Asia a few weeks ago and returned with these two outfits for TR, the diaper bag and a huge diaper cake- the diaper cake includes sleeper sets, towels, and lots of other things.

My mom said the diaper cake was too large for her to travel with so we'll pick it up next time we are in Oakland. I asked my mother how my sister could get from Hong Kong to Oakland with everything, but she can't get from Oakland to Central Ca with the diaper cake. I'm anxious to see it.

I hope to make the next Asia trip. The idea of a 14 hour flight is less than thrilling but the look of custom made clothes is fab. If anyone wants to see some pics of the outfits she had made, shoot me an email.

Maybe someone will invite us to a wedding or a party and TR can wear one of these.

100 Years

TR and I missed the Centennial Celebration in D.C. but were there in spirit.

TR got a pink dress, which she is modeling. Had we gone to D.C., this is probably what she would have worn to the gala.

Mr A, TR and me took our own walk. TR was wrapped in my pink and green personal carrier. Mr A got the fabric and got the instructions online. I love carrying her this way. I just have to learn how to do the wrap for myself.

My sis went on a shopping trip to Asia. I can't wait to get the clothing she brought back for TR. Pictures will be posted.

Then and Now

I looked at my archives and came across my http://call2arms.blogsome.com/2005/12/08/babies/#comments post on babies.

The various things I imagined about having a baby were right on. We were within our 3 year desired timeline of having a baby and so far so fun. Last night she went to sleep at 1 a.m and slept until after 6. I roused her to feed her and she sucked while sleeping. She's eating baby food- which my momma said help babies sleep longer.

I've discovered what s30 meant by leaking breasts. Its more like a flood. We both get drenched. The babe isn't bohemian but she does spend her days either topless with her cloth diaper on or a onesie. She owns lots of clothes but hasn't started wearing them.

She's my happy, friendly, warm, chubby baby that goes to strangers without crying.

She hasn't pulled my hair yet and when she grips my cheek sits a death grip. I love her warm little breath on my cheek and I'm in love with her gums. I have a photo and she's smiling and her gums are fully displayed.

She doesn't yell or cry too much, but she makes noises for most of her communication purposes ans she screams when she crawls or rolls over. When I'm on the phone she'll get very quiet. At this point I love to hear her little noises.

We didn't move to Baldwin Hills and its unlikely we will. We discoverd we love the side we're on and if we stay in L.A. we want to be on this side of the city.

Beware of the Mommy

TR is so fabulous. I said beware of the mommy- heed words of caution.

She is just now 2 months and crawling. She's been crawling since she was a couple of weeks old but she's covering more distance now. I had her in bed with us one morning and I awoke to her attempting to nurse. She had crawled to my breast and kept lifting her head trying to get to the nipple. When she is eating and wants to be burped she sticks her arms out.

When she wants to poop she makes little noises and we put her on "the throne" position, she relaxes, focuses and poops.

Visitors have informed me that she is a good baby- apparently because she doesn't waste a lot of time crying. She does more cooing and purring to communicate. I'm also told I've got it good because she will sleep 4 hours at night.

She appears to have dimples in every place imaginable. Two deep dimples in her cheeks, chin dimple, a little dimple by the bridge of her nose, and dimples where her smile line is. She smiles a lot. She has eyes like mine- large almond shaped.

Her hair has a red tint. My mother and Mr A's mother have reddish/red hair. Mr A's mom had told me Mr A had red hair as a kid. but it looks black now.

After her bath this morning I styled the top of her hair in a mini mohawk.

While I love green, I think she'll be wearing more yellow because it flatters her coloring. She has her first professional photo shoot soon, and I already have her outfit planned.

I can't wait until we can take the world by storm. I'm going stir crazy in the house- we're doing it the old fashioned way and keeping baby indoors for a while. But when I leave the house I want to hurry back because I want to see her little face and hold her. My mom will be coming to a city near L.A. soon and we're going to go hang out there with her. My mother told me to tell TR that she really misses her. I waited for her to say she missed me.......... I'm still waiting. It's okay though- the joy of being a grandmother is enjoying the baby and letting the parents enjoy the work.

I plan to join the L.A. Mocha Mom soon. I need to interact with some SAH moms/wives. I've reconnected with a few of my L.A. folks now that I have less time to socialize. Clearly I like having too much to do and not enough time to do it.

Magical Date- REpost

Love has been on my heart and soul this week. Check out the 'love' song on the sideline, it's currently moving me. S30's current post inspired me to do a repost of my magical date.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Magical Date
Okay this blog is about a date I had, my guy reads my blog so he's gonna have to read about himself in this one.

Well this date was magical because it consisted of my favorite things and my guy didn't even know they were my favorite things.

So I'm there visiting ( almost 300 miles seperate us) this was probably our first couple outing, first time without family and/or friends.

The conversation went something like this

Him: So what do you want to do?
Me: Anything is fine. (I know guys actually want an answer when they ask that)
Him: Do you want to see a movie?
Me: Nope, we can't talk during the movie.
Him: Do you like Jamba Juice?
Me: Yes, I do (super excited, I lu-uvvv Jamba Juice , I drink them when I want to treat myself)Him: Well I thought we could go to Jamba Juice and my favorite Sushi bar is right next to it, so we could go there
Me: Sushi? you eat sushi? What kind?

Ladies I wanted to jump with glee. Sushi is what I eat when I want to treat myself . Sushi for me is like my permission to relax and just enjoy. Jamba Juice is the same thing. Plus both are so expensive cuz it takes much Sushi to get full. This man was offering me three of my favorite things without even realizing it. Him, sushi and Jamba Juice. Ya'll I had to tell him.

Me: I usually only eat sushi when I get paid, it's how I treat myself.
Him: smile
Me: And I love Jamba Juice, I drink it when I want to treat myself. I never imagined that I'd ever have a man that I really like, sushi and Jamba Juice all together. It's like my fairytale.

The small pleasures in life really mean so much. This is not some fru fru guy either, he isn't petite nor does he drink tea with his pinky out. He's like a football kinda dude, which makes it all the better. A man with a liking for delicacies.

The day was beautiful, there was an art festival and we walked along and looked at the various sidewalk art and yes, he held my hand.

I sigh just thinking about it.

Side note: the best thing about my building is that it is across the street from my brother's building. In the middle of writing this blog we took a walk to the bank. I didn't want to go to the bank but being self employed I sometimes have to work on my clients cash schedule. We have lunch together on lots of days and sometimes we run errands together. It's fun. END SIDENOTE.

Posted by Call 2 Arms at 1:51 PM

Our Day

Yesterday morning we had crepes with sliced strawberries for brunch. They were very good and the recipe is super simple. I'm trying to figure out why I was willing to pay 5 bucks for a couple crepes at the Larchmont Farmer's Market.

TR shared the day with us. She sat in her swing and made her little baby noises as we ate brunch.

I made an Oreo Cookie Pie* for dessert. It's a yummy and simple recipe.
I prepared Jambalaya for dinner and when it got late we shared a huge slice of the dessert.

The middle parts were spent with us just hanging out. We bathed TR and Mr A washed her hair. She sure did enjoy herself. Perhaps we are that boring couple/family but I truly enjoy our lives.

This morning I woke up, heard TR sucking loudky on her pacifier, I scooped her up, showered her with kisses, told her how beautiful she is, changed her, gave her breakfast of milk and laid her down to sleep.

I'm sure life could get better, like a paid for home in Bel Air, property taxes on that home paid up for 20 years and maid service included, the stork dropping off a few more kiddies at well-timed intervals, a teletransportation machine, ownership of a prime office building in L.A.- but right now life feels pretty great.

*http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/OREO-Ice-Cream-Shop-Pie-2/Detail.aspx?prop31=1