Happy HAPPY

Mr and I are at our New Year Eve destination. We are about a quarter tank of gas from L.A. but the home is lovely. TR was invited and most everyone here has their youngun in tow. TR is out of town with my mom. I'm sure she would enjoy this party. There is an almost 12 month old here but she almost took TR down last time they played together. TR was 3 or 4 months then and the other baby was about 7 months. TR moves around better so they might be able to intereact.
I"m already sleepy. We are spending the night here but I don't want to poop the party by turning in early. Mr A and I made gumbo so that is on for tomorrow. Have a blessed 2009 and be safe.

Goals

I have a goal to write a list of goals. I'll have to sir down and think of things I want to accomplish. Mr A and I have goals as a family so I'll likely incorporate some of those into my personal goals.

TR is going out of town for a few days. I wonder if I'm ready. I'm sure she is. Mr A and I, my mother and siblings went to dinner last week and we droppeed her off at my aunt's house. She was sleep when we left and I was concerned she would wake up in unfamiliar surroundings and cry.

My cousin said TR woke up, stared at them and proceeded to play. When we arrived to pick her up, she appeared to be having a great time. My aunt also gave her a full length fur. My baby is certainly fab. I think she has more clothes than both Mr A and myself. I had planned to dress my babe in onesies, but she has full outfits and shoes.

There is more. I'm sure I'll post before the New Year, if not Have a Blessed 2009!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Merry Christmas to all of you.

I've already opened my gifts from TR and Mr. A. Now I am looking forward to Mr A and my mom opening their gifts from TR.

Seasons greetings.

xoxoxo, The A family

p.s. we are the A family because its Mr A's initials. I wouldn't give my husband my surname, in real life or blogland. I know someone thought A was for Arms. puleeze

I guess this thing can work.

You Should Be a Politician

Confident, assertive, and dedicated - you know what you want in life and how to get it. Stubborn and opinionated, you can stand your ground... even if it's unpopular. And while you have strong views, you never overwhelm people with your opinions. A true charmer, you subtly influence people into seeing things your way. You do best when you: - Work according to your own rules - Can change the world with what you do You would also be a good lawyer or talk show host.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

American Boy

I like that song and since part of this post will refer to American Girl dolls, I thought I could be random with the title.

We've been enjoying our Christmas Season. On Friday, our borrow child/goddaughter came over to spend the weekend. Saturday was a fun and full day of shopping. Sadly, I don't think we got gifts for anyone but ourselves.

I got a dress at Loehmans, the dress I had envisioned since seeing a similiar dress in the Neiman catalog. We then headed to the Beverly Center, where we bumped into Keith Sweat. I was never a fan of his crooning but since discovering he wrote that Burger King jingle with the words, Girl you've got a 10=piece, don't be stingy, I've lost respect. I admit to loving that song but I also admit to knowful I shoud be ashamed for humming it in my free time and chuckling.

I wanted to ask Keith, where Lisa Wu, i.e, Real Housewife of Atlanta was. Looking at him, I could see how he might be a wife abuser. He looked vain. But he did look nice and not at all elderly.

The great thing about the Beverly Center is, its rarely crowded. Mr A cites the prices as the reason for that. I know they have a Gymboree, a Sephora and an Apple Store, beyond that the prices don't impact me. I do hit that Macy and one day I want to give Bloomingdales a try. I've only ever browsed that store. I will say the one is San Francisco is beautiful and glorius. Everyone who enjoys shopping must go. It is visually appealing.

One of the great thing about husbands is how they let you plan their outfits. I was able to pick out a couple of things for Mr A and he actually likes them. I was the one that introduced nice colors into his wardrobe and even shoes with some color. I am such a fab wife.


After shopping we went out to the Valley for dinner and then to drive down Candy Cane Lane. The houses were great. It took us a couple of hours because the streets were jam packed with onlookers.

Moving back to what a fab wife I am........
On Sunday while driving in the car, me and TR in the back a woman flags Mr A to roll his window down. He does and neither of us think anything of it. The woman then says.... heyyyy handsome. Neither of us think anything of this either. Then she tilts her head and sees me and her reaction was hillarious. She apologizes and they drive on. I'm in the back cracking up and telling Mr A how I am a great fashion coordinator. I also have years of practice advising my brother.

Later on that day, Mr A went to pick up some food while TR and I waited in the car. Why did a woman ask to sample his peach cobbler. He told her his wife probably wouldn't like that.

I remember being young and seeing a pretty nice looking man in a terrible looking tie and outfit. I told my mom that he must be single because no woman would let him leave his house like that. My mother said his wife probably dressed him that way on purpose to make sure he made it back home every day.

In other things I always found a good test to determine if a man is single is the ash between his fingers. If he is all lotioned up in the spot many men forget about, then he got somebody. If he has somebody and is still ashy....... poor him.

I'll have to get to American Girl later, this has gotten too long.

L.A. to the Bay and Back

Mr A and I are back in L.A. but only for a few days.

I had a hair appointment this morning and the lady was telling me three of her clients called her this morning to tell her they'd been laid off. She said lots and lots of her clients and girlfriends were going through the same.

So far I only know one person that has been laid off. Mr A's old co-worker who had been at his company 18 years. I think part of the reason is the guy wouldn't take any promotions. He was in management and making enough to live nicely so he didn't want to take on more responsibility just for more money.

I understand working for money because we all have to live, but leaving home each day just to get a check has to be destructive to the soul. I really think being able to love what you spend the day doing makes up for salary. I also think if you love what you do, the salary will come.

After my hair appointment I thought I'd do my part to stimulate the economy and do a little retail shopping. I arrived at the store and discovered the lot was full -at 11 a.m.!!  I thought this weather would keep folks indoors.  I headed to the grocery store. It's cold and rainy so I was thinking of foods that keep the soul warm.  

I bought a mini Christmas tree. We'll only be here a few days but I still want a little festivity in the place. I put up a few decorations before Thanksgiving.  I have been away since before

 Thanksgiving. I missed home.

I'm back home now hanging with Mr. A and TR.

Misery Needs Company

I was trying to have a good day but it seemed folks were determined to push me off of my mountain.  In turn I ended up having an attitude with folks that didn't deserve it, namely my mother. I didn't have a bad attitude but any at-ti-tude is unnecessary. Its probably worse when folks are evil to folks who have no idea where the evil arose from.

Oh what a web bad moods weave.  If not careful misery can be contagious.  

Last week my father offered to  buy TR baby food. He asked me for a list. I made a table and told him she eats fruits, vegetables, rice cereal and oatmeal.  I also told him she is on stage 2.  He brought back lots of  baby food with meat and some vegetable items.

I guess he wanted a list to ignore.  He came in and proceeded to spend about 10 minutes insulting me. I wonder if I should tell him why his other children ignore his calls.  I would ignore his calls but my mother answers the phone without looking at caller i.d.

Some of the stuff he says might be acceptable if he had said them when I was a young person interested in listening.  I'm 30+.

I think much of his advice are based on his own regrets and failures. He wants to share his opinions on marriage, family and money.  I guess he can tell me what not to do, but he wants to tell me what TO do.

I'm pretty sensitive to the moods and vibes of folks I am close to.  I'm discovering this can be a bad thing when people enjoy being depressed.

I was visiting my cousins a couple of weeks ago and we were watching Charlie Brown. One of my cousins pointed out that that show had introduced depression to our generation.  I guess that's why I never liked the show. 

Anyway my emotions are just all discombobulated. I need to figure out how to remain emotionally unaffected by folks with misery in their aura. I really want TR to live in an emotionally well-balanced home. I want her to know we can experience sadness or low moments but we don't allow it to  control our life or diminish our spirit. 

I need to get my light back.

Great Dates

 I had a hot date last night. I chose Elephant Bar because I thought we could see a movie at the nearby AMC. It's been a couple of years since I've been to that restaurant but I really enjoyed the meal and our drinks. I thoroughly enjoyed my sexy companion.

 There were no movies we were willing to see. I certainly wasn't willing to waste my movie tickets or an hour of my life on Cadillac Records.  I like Beyonce as a performer but I wish they would quit casting her in movies that have the potential to be good or great without her. The only movie I've watched with her in it was Dream Girls, and now when I watch it on DVD or cable, when it hits the second part were she is central, we stop watching.  It's not right to do that to movie goers.

I'd been meaning to go to Sephora and make use of my coupon. I didn't have the coupon but decided to go anyway. I chose my items and asked the clerk if I could get the money off.  I was able to pull on the coupon on Mr A's phone and they used the gift coupon code to give me the discount. Pretty cool.

Mr A tried not to go into the store with me. I think he is opposed to entering beauty emporiums as part of the man code.  I explained to him that at this point in my life he is the main person I want to look good for.  I like that twinkle in his eye when I'm looking good. I wouldn't want to buy a nail polish color and have him think its terrible every time he looks at  my hands.   I also wouldn't want to get a fragrance that he doesn't like.  I'm not sure he bought that, but since we were in the neighborhood it only made sense that I go buy my beauty goodies.

I don't usually drag him with me on my shopping excursions. I respect the man code. What man wants to go with their woman as she picks out shoes, purses, jewelry or clothes and I'm sure makeup would be an additional type of torture?  I was in and out of Sephora so quickly that any woman would be amazed.

 I married a man like Mr A for a reason. I didn't want a husband that wanted to have an opinion on colors. My mother said my father wanted to help pick out furniture and be involved in her home decor when they got their house. She wasn't prepared for that as that was not how her parents operated. The yard was my grandfather's domain, except for my grandmother's flowerbeds and the house was my grandmothers decorating domain. Mr A opposes too much red but after that its my choice. 

As I think about it last year after Christmas the family went to Palo Alto to shop.  The ladies headed into Sephora and my brother and Mr A hung outside. My great uncle Robert came in, he is  80+ and Mr A made fun of him because when he exited the store he'd been sprayed by the perfume girls.  I think Uncle Robert liked it in there. He was smiling really big.

It's great to have a night out with my sweetums and then come home and kiss our sleeping babe.

More things change

the more they stay the same.

I was checking out my posts from December 7, 2008. They were about business endeavors and getting up early.

I'm cool in the spring/summer months but winter is just difficult. I slept in this morning until about 9 a.m. The days before saw me starting early.

http://call2arms.blogspot.com/2004/12/getting-up-early.html

Here's another post about reaching towards my creative business goals. I still want to do something creative but as I've gotten older my interests changed. I have another fun business idea, that I need to implement.

http://call2arms.blogspot.com/2004/12/spreading-word.html

Scraps of Love- Money can't buy

It has been my intention since before Thanksgiving to get supplies to scrapbook and organize Mr A's college pics, letters and other keepsakes. After church I hit Michaels and my love of all things craft took over, plus they were having a 40% off sale.

Mr A will be home soon. I will show him what I bought, tell him the cost and see what he says. I think I have a shopping problem. I don't shop very often but when I do, I make up for lost time.
My brother and I went to Union Square yesterday. I sooooo love it over there. It just feels good. Union square, most specifically Saks and Neiman got me through law school. When I felt tired of school I'd go there and be inspired by what I wanted to afford in my future.

I actually have a gift card for Neiman that I need to put to use.... when I find that darn card.

Mr A went to the 49ers-Jets game today. His former college roomate invited him. The friend lives up north in (said with a NeNe leaks twirl) 'exclusive' Sonoma County. Not a lot of broke folks up there. I love my people but Mr A has a lot of white friends and when they invite you somewhere its a different type of invite.

I guess most of us don't have access to complimentary tickets to sporting events to give away. But even when its dinner, they will try to either pay for it all or all the drinks.

Mr A is home. JOY!! More later.

plans

My work has been going fairly well. I'm working on improving my discipline. Thursday and Friday went fairly well. On Friday I was up before 7 a.m. and even had breakfast started.



"If I want to be great, I have to win the victory over myself..... self discipline."



I do want to be great. I want to be superwoman, and I want it all. I know what is possible for me. I dare to try.



I watched the TVone Beyonce special and while I'm not a fan I appreciate her work ethic and persistence. She is committed to being an actress and while she isn't that great, she continues to press on. Maybe "Cadillac Records" will be her shining acting moment. I can only appreciate that type of commitment to a goal.



Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines.



Aside from my work I have a few personal pleasures I'm planning for 2009. Mr A and I love the beauty of wine country so we'll head up there for a spa day. My mom's cousin has a time share in Calistoga and- last year- offered us free use. I'd like to do the train ride with lunch.



I want to visit the Canyon Ranch at the Venetian. They have some great packages. I'm not a fan of flying, but I'll likely fly up to Oakland and drop TR off and fly back. I've never actually been to Vegas but I have flown into the airport. I dislike flying there because of the turbulence. Perhaps Mr A will be willing to take the train.



We might take a family trip to Colorado. That would include siblings and a couple of cousins. I plan to ski with abandon- unless we have TR's sibling on the way.

Those are January through March leisure goals. I don't like to plan my leisure activities too far in advance. If I have too long to think about a trip, I won't want to go. I lose enthusisam if I have too long to consider a destination. Some of my best trips have occured on a few weeks or days planning. The ski trip where I met Mr A was made with 3 days planning. I sent an email on that Tuesday asking my cousins if they wanted to attend. By Thursday my cousin had secured a cabin and we were on our way that Friday. That trip was grand, and made even more grand because of my meeting Mr A.

Our last trip to Aspen was planned with just a couple of weeks. We all said we should go and we booked flights and hotels and headed out. We had a group of six and we all had a great time- and no we didn't sleep six to a room, nor did we cook in our room. We had 3 seperate rooms and dined like regular vacationers. Cash is king.

The Interfering Wife

I was awake around 4 a.m. because my brother called me. I was awake again at 5:30 a.m because my mother called me, but I didn't make it out of bed until 8. Who can get up early when folks won't let you sleep? Mr A was gone by 5:45 a.m. This early people amaze me.

I have already gotten work done, played with and bathed TR, fed her a strawberry from this great Munckin contraption and now I'm wasting time online.

Years ago my great-uncle had a construction business. He had a contract with the state to build silence walls (I don't know the official names) on the freeway. This was a huge contract. My uncle didn't have any children of his own but he had 2 step-daughters that he basically raised. He took excellent care of their mother, paid for the house they lived in and did them well. He paid for their college, weddings etc. These daughters are my mothers first cousins.

My great-uncle hired his son-in-laws. My great-aunt suggested they not work for him but they did. He was a 6'4, slim, big hat wearing and booming voiced southern man. He was straight-forward and if you weren't of a certain personality than you might be offended by some of what he said. He and my grandfather were great friends and as a child I recognized his great heart. I also appreciated how he and my grandfather would get together and try to out do each other.

My great-uncle would give my brother a $20 and my gramps would give me $50. This would go on until my brother and I would have a $100. We were only in elementary, jr. high and that was a lot of money around the holidays.

One holiday, perhaps memorial day, he and his crew had to work. His son-in-laws got to the job, worked part of the morning and informed him that they were taking off early. Uncle told them they could not. They got uppity and told him they wanted to spend the day with their wives (who had been calling them every 20 minutes) and bar-b-cue. He told them they of everyone, had to stay because if he let them leave, the other men would be upset by the favoritism. He also told them if they stayed and worked together then everyone could go home earlier and be with their family.

The two son-in-laws told him they were out and to watch as they left. Uncle fired them.

The fall out was tremendous. The daughters were so upset and createde so much confusion that my uncle and aunt were seperated within a month. My uncle gave her the divorce and let her keep all the stuff they'd acquired over 30 years. My uncle passed some years ago and my aunt has been living with her daughter for nearly 15 years now. My uncle was from a well-to-do family, so she lost out on that inheritance.

My uncle having no one to leave his business to, eventually dissolved it. The plan had been to leave it to the sorry son-in-laws. They probably weren't qualified to take it over and they
certainly lacked work ethic.

They eventually found other jobs, none that paid as much and none that were as easy on them.
I remember them having to work holidays and my grandmother pointing out that they hadn't told the boss they were refusing to work to be with their family.

I often recount that story and reflect on how terribly foolish my cousins were. I reflect on what was and what might have been had people not had less respect for a job because it was family owned.

It's good to have family businesses. Your children can pursue their dreams and if things don't work out, or while they are in pursuit they can work in your business or a relatives business and you don't have to give them parental handouts.

4 a.m.

My brother sent a couple of emails to me around 4 a.m. this morning. I'm helping him with some of his business matters and the emails were about business. My mom was up doing paperwork and I was up trying to get TR back to sleep. She wanted to play.

Yesterday morning my mom was up on her treadmil at 5 a.m. She called her cousin who was also up. When I say 'up' I mean up and moving. My mom went by her cousins house at 5:30 a.m. and they handled business.

My goal is to be one of the early movers. I should be up getting work done. I'd already be a millionaire if I had that type of work ethic and committment. I only work like that when I'm working on a deadline. I'm sure my business would be amazing if I was like them.

My current goal: I have a brief due in late December. My goal is to have the final draft complete by Monday December 8. It's going fairly well. I usually procrastinate on these things.

I'll have to work on that 4 a.m. thing. Maybe I'll start at 6 a.m. Maybe if I work a little bit of exercise in my morning, I can be going by 5:30 a.m.

Regular rest and little hard work is not the path to wealth. I don't know anyone who achieved great success by sleeping in.

4 a.m.

Petrol

We were in Vallejo this weekend and Safeway had regular gas for $1.77. That price is before the club discount. WOW!!

The news has reported that we've been in a recession for a year. DUHHH! Some sheeple seemed to believe there wasn't a recession because of the defenition of the word. We're probably in the early part of a depression so calling a recession is still underplaying what's really occuring.

Mr A and I are still in Oakland. My brother started a business and Mr A is helping him get and keep things together. My brother had been calling me almost bi-weekly trying to find out when Mr A could get up here.

A couple of weeks ago one of the employees was calling my brother every ten minutes complaining about stress. My brother works in a different city and that day he was in a meeting that he couldn't leave. My mother and sister had to go and let the employee go home. Can you believe that silly person keeps asking my brother when he'll get back on the schedule? If you walk off the job, why would someone want you back.

That applies to relationships, when people break up/walk away from the relationship why do they go back and why do people take them back? If it was bad enough to leave, then its bad enough to be consistent in that decision. It's one thing to think about quitting but when you actually quit then its bad.

Why do I keep running into divorced women who hypenated while married but use only the exes name once divorced?

Why are people having divorce parties? They should be pricked with a needle on their big toe. It's a party to celebrate a person making a disatrous life decision and tying to lives together only to rip them asunder.

Such thought patterns IMO is what seperates a marriage as a religious institution from a civil union as a legal matter. In my version of Christianity you may get a state sanctioned divorce but you are married under God's eyes. Once you marry the next spouse you are an adulter. Everyone doesn't believe like I do, so for them a divorce party is just an expose on how insignificant their legal marriage is to them. In God, a marriage is til death, in the state a marriage is until the other person does what you don't like.

Disclaimer: If you mate is beating or abusing you or your kids then I'm not suggesting anyone remain. I do suggest you remain single because clearly you are bad or careless at choosing mates.

The Queen

I've been saying TR thinks she is a princess.

Today we were in the bank and an Indian woman's year and a half old baby wanted to play with TR. When we told her TR's name, she was wowed. She said the name was her daughter's nickname and had been her own nickname.

In her language TR's name means 'queen'. Pretty cool.

Thanksgiving Thankful

Our holiday was great. TR was a hit and we managed the passing around of her well. She didn't get passed from cousin to cousin until the part of the evening when folks said what they were grateful for. By then Mr A and I were able to make sure that crazy kid wasn't around to commit any acts of violence.

My family holidays are a gathering of my maternal great-grandfather Har.dy's offspring, other family and friends. Har.dy had 8 children. 3 of those children are still living. When all 8 were alive they would get together for the holidays, and once they had kids they still got together and once they had grandkids they still got together.

My paternal family is the same way, only most go to church together and see each other more often.

Our goddaughter seemed to have a goodtime. We kept warning her to watchout for the bad child. I was very worried about what they might do to the sweet little godchild until Mr A reminded me that she lived in the hood in L.A. That girl can handle herself.

It's always a risk when your family breaks out into the "what I am thankful for segment", you hope people aren't too long-winded, you hope no one gets overly mushy or cries (we have one drama queen and as expected she did cry in soap opera fashion) and you hope no one says anything nutty.

Well as we got towards the end of the cousins and I was feeling good about what a lovely family I have, my two nutty twin cousins reminded me that abberations do occur. The twins are my mothers first cousins and she has no idea where they came from. They look like their siblings but their behavior is quite different.

So the first twin stands and tells about how he has been celibate and drug free for 8 years and has X million dollars and can afford sex and drugs. He launches into a wild story that I've heard numerous times. We were in Aspen one year and he started telling Mr A the story and some sort of way Mr A managed to escape and I had to sit there and listen to this same story for probably the 3rd time. This is a story you really don't want to hear once on your life. At Thanksgiving, perhaps because he had an audience, he seemed to get a little raunchy with the story and said he'd been a 'sex freak', 'sexual freak'.

It was quite hillarious. As much as I run from conversations with these cousins, I'm still grateful for them. The sexual freak ccame to L.A. to visit TR when she was in the hospital, he's come to visit me the first time I lived in L.A and even though he is fearful of heights he walked up to my apartment that was perched on a steep hillside and had nearly one hundred steps. I had lovely views but a couple of people were afraid to make the hike and stayed in their car. The other twin has covered costs for family that might be financially prevented from attending family reunion dinners and events.

There is reason to be grateful for even your annoying and nutty cousins. Can't nobody love you and look out for you like a relative.

Thanksgiving Menu......

.....for TR

In between these meals she'll snack on milk

Breakfast

Oatmeal with applesauce and banannas, some other fruit and milk

Lunch

Squash and milk

Dinner

Peas, sweet potoatoes, squash, bannans, peaches, and milk.

I hope she enjoys her first Thanksgiving. Let us pray for me because I don't think I'm mentally ready for her to be passed around a house full of extended relatives and kids. Our goddaughter is joining us, she's 10. I think I might instruct her to give folks handsanitizer and to hold TR. I don't mind her being held by various people in small settings but I just ain't ready for this.

One of my cousins has terribly untrained children. They are amazing terrors. The 2 of them seem like 20 kids. These children were the only ones banned from our wedding. I told her mother (who was my road dawg growing up) kids weren't allowed but I told everyone else kids were invited. My brother has already asked me what I plan to do if the oldest child does what we expect her to do. I need to pray hard right now, because I so can envision myself putting my foot in that kids chest.

It's a sad thing when people fail to raise their children. It's bad for the future life of the kids who have to live with the consequences of being troubled. I once heard a message about failure to chastise your children creates people who have to live a life of consequence, not choice.

Heck I'm feeling bold. If my cousin is there I might ask her what she plans to do to help her kids. She likes to say they won't listen, she even medicates them. Those kids were infants and that is when you start training them to listen and behave. I will say they probably have some tough genes to train. My cousins father was a criminal and her kids father(s) are criminals. Someone has to stop the cycle of madness.

I can't predict what and who my kids will turn into but I do know that I will be putting in the work to develop wonderful individuals who bless lives.

I have no problem with kids who are active, annoying and who get into things. I do have a problem with children who look for hammers and screwdrivers and try to destroy things. Kids who come to your home and beat up the toy dog and run around and the parent(s) act as if they didn't bring kids.

It is one thing to fail, its a totally different thing to not try.

You Are Beauty-ful

I've been going back and forth debating the purchase of a couple of finger nail polish bottles. One of the colors I've had my eye on is Black Sequins by Dior and a Sephora shade. I can't recall the name but the last time I was there the color was gone.

The dilemna began because a review on the Sephora site said the Opi by Sephora Black is a good as the Dior black sequins. The Dior is $19, the OPI by Sephora is $9. I don't really wear nail polish so I don't know the wisdom of the more expensive purchase. I also really liked the way the dior looked but the review said the glitter faded.

Mr A thinks black nails are goth but he has no general objections.

I opened my email and discovered a $15 coupon for purchases of $35 or more. I've been plotting my next purchases so of course the coupon has made me really ponder what I want to get. I could get a few OPI colors and a lip gloss or something or I could get the Dior and something else. Maybe I'll get a flavored body duster.

So I guess I'll be looking on line and plotting my purchase. I'm still trying to figure out why I'm trying to buy nail polish, knowing I'll probably only wear it once or twice. Well the holidays are upon us, so perhaps I'll get good use.

I'm excited.

In other things TR just got a gift card for Babies R Us. I don't know that she needs anything. She has more clothes than I do. She has clothes that are dry clean only. I had no idea baby clothes needed to be professionally handled. I'd hold on to the card, but who knows where Babies R Us is financially, they could be bankrupt by January.

Censorship

I'm a bit of a snob and slightly vain. I work fairly hard not to offend with my posts. It's becoming work. I'm not snobbish in an "I must die in Dior" way, or any type of consumerism. I'll start a post and stop because I think someone might read and feel attacked. Its challenging because for whatever reason people forget that if they don't visit my blog, I basically don't exist. Instead of being upset they can click away or not click at all. Preferably people would read and move on with their life. Usually I've moved on from what I've written before its finished. I don't take my own or anyone else posts so seriously.

I think I'll stop censoring myself and write what I want. I'll let Mr A read before I post and tell me if I've gone too far. My friends and family are like me, so I can relax and say what I want.

It feels good to get with my family and friends and talk about things and know at the end of the discussion no one feels put down. Its good to have people in real life who are like me and who are open to discussing the things I'm interested in talking about.


If I keep blogging, be ready for this spot to get gully. BE-WARY.

EDIT: I'm also fairly carefree, very lighthearted and random so be ready for that too.

Been A Long Time

At home in L.A. I leave our heat on to 70. It rarely comes on because the weather tends to stay warm. When indoors I tend to wear shorts, light skirt, a tank or t-shirt and slipper sandals (not houseshoes) or barefeet. I usually wear my wooden slippers because I like the click on the hardwood floors.

We sleep in less than that. TR usually sleeps in just her diaper or a short sleeve onesie. She'll ocassiopnally wear some type of sleep suit. She's a warm blooded baby. Mr A got me out of the practice of wearing p.j.s and its very hard to go back to them. Mr A is also warm blooded, so he'd likely burn if he wore p.j.s

Here in Oakland life is different. My mom's house is ranchstyle and 80% bay windows, 20% walls. The house is built in a U-shape to take advantage of the view from all rooms. So many Windows makes it hard to hold heat and the location means colder weather than other parts of the city.

TR and I went to bed early last night because I was cold and wanted to enjoy the electric blanket. I told this to my mother, she told me the reason I was so cold was because I was naked. I was not naked but I was wearing very little. I asked her how she can sleep in so many clothes. Not only does my mother wear heavier clothing, she is constantly on the move. She is in her garden, in the kitchen, in the garage so she stays warm.

I was telling this to Mr A and he told me that I used to live like that. That I used to wear pajamas and exist in the cold weather. I cannot recall that part of my past. We've been 'living together' nearly 3 years and those 3 years of being warm and sleeping unfettered is what I know.

I love homes that have views, floor to ceiling windows to enjoy those views and I love the hills. I don't need a super large home, just big enough for 3-5 kids and us. I'm now realizing that when we do buy, we need to factor in heating bills. Maybe we can install some time of screen over the windows to help hold heat in but can be removed when we want to enjoy our views.

It's amazing how quickly we can forget our past. I know I'm not the only one. My Soror moved from San Francisco to L.A. this summer. She told me she was in the Bay on a low 70 day and was cold. I totally relate to that. It's been around high 60's and I'm sure that had I never moved I would not be freezing.

I do realize that if I got some exercise during the day, I'd also be warmer throughout the day. I'll get on that.

In other things, I've decided on the name for our second daughter. I'm really excited about it. Prayerfully both Mr A and I will be blessed to have, name and raise more kids.

Mind games

I'm usually up before 8 a.m on most mornings. Many mornings I'm up and moving by 7 a.m. Its never a problem.

I have an 8:30 a.m/ meeting tomorrow and I'm tired at the idea of having to get up, be ready and be out so early. It's even more bizarre because I prefer my stuff to start at 8 a.m. because 10 a.m. is too late. I like to get work out of the way so I can enjoy my day.

I don't know why being required to start my work day early takes the pleasure out of starting my day early.

Other Mind Games

Why do women who have no desire to be mothers get with men who desire children? Everyone does not want kids and that is fine- but why do people ignore the reality that denying children to a person who wants them/or feeling forced to be a parent is a huge deal?

Why would a person want to have a relationship with a person when they hold positions that different? There are many things in a relationship that can remain seperate such as- finances, chores, family events- but kids are a joint venture.

Mr A and I had the children discussion handled early. He wanted to be a father and told me he would not marry a woman who was unsure about her desire for kids or did not want kids.

This applies to woman as well. Women who want kids should run from men who are clear about not wanting them. Why play those games or hope to change hearts. Kids should have parents who feel blessed to have them.

I'm often confused by things people do that they know will cause hurt to the person they claim to want to be with.

Toot Toot!!

Picture me air pulling the chain to blow the whistle of my own horn.

Mr A and I are such a good team, business and otherwise.

I think it was in late 2007 that we did work with a start-up company. As many start-ups do, the business started up prior to spending the funds on professional planning. Problems began after leases were signed and facilities were furnished. Mr A and I came along and helped resolve things and create the operating agreement. Part of the reason we are a fab team is because our backgrounds complement each other. I was able to tell him the legal aspects, he told me the business needs and we created various scenarios to benefit the business and give the client choice. It wasn't just a pretty document, it is a real and useful document.

That operating agreement took forever because the business relationship of the partners was on the decline. It had to include prior issues that existed and how to handle them. There were also 4 partners, I told them 4 people would be sure to present future tie-vote problems. We tried to develop a method to deal with that but of course they couldn't agree. We managed to create a cute model to break the ties.

Recently one of the partners called us to come back. HMMMMM...... they hadn't put us on monthly retainer. Mr A was kind enough to give them our retainer pricing.

I reviewed the operating agreements and realized just how fabulous we are. We covered potential issues very thoroughly and once we were apprised of the problems we were able to pinpoint exactly how the agreement would control.

Mr A wrote a super long letter, identifying all 4 partners failures. He also told them what they needed to do to make their business work. That letter was tough and true. They partners were upset with that letter. Mr A then went to a board meeting. I did not go, a lawyer would only make things deterioate because that's what lawyers even in their silence tend to bring. Folks start feeling attacked and other folks start feeling like they've got back-up. Mr A is sorta the forensic business person. He can go in, evaluate and develop methods to make the business work. Folks can get upset but he's mathematical about it, they can say why its true or not but his delivery helps remove the emotion and focus on the needs of the business.

Mr A went to the meeting, told them what they needed to do and the next thing I hear the partners have followed his instructions. They are now doing what they need to do and business is doing what it needs to do to be successful.

I'm so proud of us. We are quite fab. Mr A is especially fab because he does the real work and still says `our' business. I haven't done much work for over a year. I do handle contracts and such when necessary.

Going into business with other people can be challenging, which is why folks need to set out agreements whilst on friendly terms.

My Baby Love

written Saturday

Mr A grilled today and the idea of mascara popped into my mind.

I've heard wonderful things about Dior Blackout, I had an online coupon for Sephora and went online to make the purchase. The discount equaled the shipping cost so I decided to go to Sephora and get my goods. I also lack the patience to wait for things to arrive by mail if I have a choice.
I went online to locate a coupon for Sephora and came across a 30% coupon for Gymboree. TR went to a class at Gymboree a few weeks ago, so I knew I wanted to buy a few holiday outfits for her. Mr A gave me a couple of Macy Gift Cards so I made some purchases there as well.
The clerk at Macy asked me when I was going to shop for myself and I told her shopping for the baby is much more fun. TR is now getting clothes for babies 6-12 months and as I shopped I noticed the newborn clothes and realized just how big my baby has gotten. Time goes so fast.

Here are pics of what I got. Times like this makes me wish we lived closer to Oakland. If we did, I could show my loot to my mom. Mr A can't really appreciate baby clothes the way a woman could. He likes the clothes and I know he tries to oo and aww with me, but a man just doesn't have the same cooing over clothes ability of a woman. I emailed these pics to my mom, when she gets up later tonight she can call me and we'll discuss what I got. I admit that I went slightly overboard with the shopping at Gymboree.
My shopping trip was at the Beverly Center and the clerk at Sephora told me their lines are longer than ever. Some of the other stores have seen a decline in customers. I guess folks are serious about their beauty.


slideshow gone

I was trying to limit my slideshow to pics of TR's outfits but I can't. Her outfits are at the start and the others pics are from years past.

Government Lunch

Years ago, during my masters program, I would sit and have lunch at a mini-park in the midst of San Francisco's financial district. I'd imagine my future life, work on my book (I've been writing a book forever) think of goals, and dream of working in one of those tall buildings that surrounded the park. I envisioned myself leaving my office and having lunch in the park.

I had noticed that not many people utilized that park. It was the only open space smack in the middle of the financial district, but I didn't pay much attention to its emptiness. Not long after my planning, I was offered a job right there. As I exited Bart or got off the bus each day, it would occur to me that I was right where I had envisioned myself.

I was telling Mr A this story and telling him that although I was working in a building by the park, I never had time to actually sit and eat lunch there. He pointed out that the park was likely empty because the people in the surrounding buildings were busy working and didn't have time to hang out in the park for lunch.

Another example of longing for the grass that is greener on the other side but failing to consider how costly the water bill might be.

Note: This post is titled government lunch because I'm convinced the government is the only sector where working people have time to lunch and where folks will take lunch no matter their workload. I worked for the gov't one summer and the non management workload isn't even comparable to private industry.

Back Then

I was checking out my early blog posts. The posts when Mr A and I were newly boyfriend and girlfriend and attempting to build relationships with our respective immediate families.

We've come a long way.

My early audience and commenters were my formerly blogging cousins and Mr A. I started blogging because my cousins had blogs but they have long since left blogland.


These posts were written were the end of October 2004 http://call2arms.blogspot.com/2004/10/meet-my-family_27.html and the first of November 2004 http://call2arms.blogspot.com/2004/11/family.html.

I'll probably need to pull this out when TR starts dating. Mr A is already planning the hazing he intends to inflict upon any boy/man who wants to date TR.

Commuter Appreciation

November is certainly high on my list of favorite months. We are firmly into holiday season. This NYE will be the fourth Mr. A and I have spent together. Our third Christmas and Thanksgiving. January will be 5 years since we first met. Time flies.

I had court in S.F. last week and took BART. I enjoyed being in the mix of commuters again. Between school and work I spent about 5 years riding BART from Oakland to San Francisco. Its always amazing to reflect on life's progression.

Oddly, I dislike The City until I'm there. Once there I want to enjoy the place. Even the rain adds to the charm of The City. I might stowaway on my mom and TR's Christmas journey. I love Christmas season is lovely in S.F. and N.Y.C. I enjoy the hustle and bustle of a city.

L.A. has a different vibe. I think the warm weather tampers the festive spirit found in busy cold weather climates.

Mr A and I have been discussing the difference in ski locales. He prefers snow of the rockies. I prefer the rockies because of the cute villages. I appreciate Tahoe because its close and good for a quick trip. When I'm thirsting for real skiing I want Aspen or Vail.

I want TR's first of snow to be Colorado. Mr A says he wants her to do snowboard lessons on a local mountain so she won't be a ski snob and unwilling to do California mountains.

Hmmmmm....... what's wrong with snow snobbery.

Walkable

We've been giving great thought to our planned move to the Bay Area.

I've grown to love our L.A. neighborhood. It's walkable. There is a lovely park in the middle of our little area, and each day kids can be seen playing in the sand area, couples and families have picnics and elderly people sit out and relax. TR and I were there on last Friday and saw a group of kids on a play date. I enjoy living in an area where people take their kids out and where the people mingle with their neighbors.


Lots of our neighbors walk their dogs and/or their kids so you get a chance to meet everyone. Mr A misplaced the car key last week. We were about to have the car towed to the dealership and pay ~$200 for a new key. Our neighbor saw Mr A and asked him if he had lost his key. Turns out if anything in the neighborhood is lost, people bring it to her. Who knew Mayberry existed smack in the middle of Los Angeles?

In the other direction of home, is a cute village with many banks, sidewalk cafes, boutique shopping, drug store and other cute shops. There is also the Sunday Farmers Market. Just this past weekend we put TR in her stroller, had a nice walk to the village, handled a few errands and had lunch at a Japanese restaurant. Then we walked home. We don't have a grocery store in reasonable walking distance- although I have walked there- if we did, I don't know if I'd be willing to leave our area.

I've been trying to envision the Oakland areas that have the same/similiar access. I've also been pondering Berkeley. Mr A likes Berkeley. San Francisco is too cold and foggy for me to consider although some of the neighborhoods are very cute.


We're not suburb types so we don't want to live outside city limits. Plus if we were going to live distant from Oakland, we'd just stay in Los Angeles.

The list of what I want in a neighborhood is increasing. We plan to send our children to private school, so we can move without regard to area schools.

We made a good decision with our current residence. We prayed over it and we've been blessed in the location. It's difficult to make the move when where we are is so nice. I just want to remain in an area where life can be enjoyed on foot. I really appreciate how nice life can be when neighbors get out of their cars and become a part of their neighborhood. It's easier to go on a walk when you can walk to a destination and then back home.

Old Wives Tales

My mother told me a few months ago that if TR was sleepy but wouldn't go to sleep I should just put my hand over her eyes and she'd fall asleep. I thought she was joking.

Yesterday, I was tired, TR was tired but she wouldn't go to sleep. I put my hand over her eyes and noticed each time I did it, her eyes stayed shut longer and longer. I called my mom and told her, but explained that whenever I moved my hand TR would eventually reopen her eyes. My mom said to leave my hand for a couple of minutes. I did it, saw TR's breathing get deep and even and she was asleep.

Amazing. I'll have to listen to my mother more often.

A must read!!!

http://leishacamden.blogspot.com/2008/10/not-that-it-matters.html

A wonderful story of helping a stranger with a wonderful and timely ending.

Read and share!

4 Falls of Love

Mr A and I began our affair of love 4 years ago in autumn. We met winter of 2004, chatted on the phone through the summer of 2004, met up a few times at the end of summer earl by October 2004 we were a couple.

I still remember 'the talk'. I remember how my heart beat so fast and how nervous but excited I was. I remember going shopping with my cousin and buying him a baby blue sweater. I bought it because I was thinking of him and he didn't own any pastel colors.

I remember taking the train to see him and him taking the train to see me. I remember going to the grocery store to prepare for his visit. I remember the feelings I was experiencing.

I asked Mr A if he remembers our first fall together. His answer was no. Fret not, I didn't hurt him. He usually does well when I ask him if he remembers firsts. He was up and out at 5 a.m. this morning, so perhaps he was tired.

Time flies so fast. In a few months we will have known each other 5 years. We've been a couple for 4 years, and married a little over two. It is really amazing how quickly time passes. Soon (just a few years) we'll be taking TR to her bilingual preschool. Soon we'll be 40 with elementary age children. We'll be 50 with college aged children. Goodness gracious, time waits on no one.

I think gymboree is for parents who spend 0 time with their child. I don't think I can attend or pay to attend a class and pay to sing songs and touch my baby's body parts. We do that every day. I think the part with the play area looked nice. That's for babies that are walking. Currently we have mommy and baby yoga and daddies too. I might give the music class another shot. Next up..... baby sign language. My mother laughed at me today, when I told her we were on our way to gymboree.

I did find a beautiful Christmas dress for TR and a few hats, one a paperboy hat. I love those. My mom plans to take TR to San Francisco at Christmas time. The hat will come in handy in the freezing city. They are going to browse Saks and see the tree at Neimans. It seems that TR will be reliving my childhood Christmases.

How the Rich Live

Ivanka Trump was on Morning Joe this a.m.

She said there is a palpable fear amongst people at this time of global economic crisis. She spoke of people she knew who made millions each year and how they were having family meetings on how they were going to cut back and make different decisions. I hear middle class folks feeling confident about their plantations ability to withstand and their feelings of job security and savings.

My grandmother was alive during the depression, she said they were using dollar bills as wall paper because they were worthless. Banks failed, money in those banks was lost. The govt doesn't have funds to insure all the money in banks. They can create more paper but it will be worthless. My grandmother and her parents were blessed to own their land and home and have farms and food to eat.

Middle class people do not seem to realize they are poor and that middle class is just a term to make people feel better. Middle class people are soooo drinking the kool-aid. It's the middle that keep the rich wealthy and the poor operating.

The wealthy work forever because they love what they do. Middle class work until they can afford to stop. The poor- I'm not sure what they do.

I was having this discussion with my mother yesterday. I was telling her people can't live on SSI anymore. She informed me that my statement is sort of true, sort of false.

If SSI is all a person has to live on, they can go rent a $2000 house and only pay 30% of their income, then they can get reduced rates on necessary services like phone and utilities. She helped one of her cousins get a home phone (he owns his home w/o mortgage because his mother paid for it, his mother died and now my mom helps him) and he only has to pay $5 per month.

If I die an old woman and die middle class, I believe I will have lived far beneath my potential and failed. I have no desire to achieve wealth for the perks, I just don't want to live my life in the trap of middle class. I want to win at this game called life. I also want my children to know they can go beyond being middle- if they so desire. I know I don't need to be rich and I'm not trying to buy anything, but the achievement of some real wealth is a goal of mine. Its sorta like people who want to climb a high mountain, they just want the satisfaction of acheiving a goal that takes discipline to meet.

My Reality

Am I correct in thinking a blog is similiar to being cast on a reality t.v. show? Bloggers show parts of their lives, either all of it or selected parts. In the past I wasn't too much of a reality fan, but reality t.v. is sucking me in.

I'm a fan of Real Housewives of Atlanta and I'm amazed at the vitriolic criticism these women are garnering. My goodness.....its totally amazing.

I hope they don't care. I don't think they make Atlanta (suburbs) look bad or women or women of color. If people think the any group of people are homogenous, then may the live happily in their vacuum. Do people watch Hills and think the show represents all young white folks? Black people never get a chance to just be. Someone always wants to be represented.

I wish Deshawn would open her mouth when she speaks. It is painful to watch her speak. I wonder if she has veneers and isn't comfortable with them.

I'm a fan of the Rachel Zoe Project. I remember her from the days she was accused of turning Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan into anorexics. I know she styled them into recognition.

I think The Hills is losing me. The show seems to have flatlined and until something different occurs I can't make myself watch.

I'm still watching The Game and that seems to have bitten the shark as well. I'll be glad when Tudors starts again.

The Game is just a horrible representation of Black athletes. One is a momma's boy, one has a white wife, the other one has become a 'baby daddy'. While I don't know any momma boy athletes I am very familiar with the other two. Are they making Ms. Brock Akil do this? This is the same madness that happened to Moesha.

I know I'd be crushed if the man I loved had a baby out there. I think I'm greedy and I'm just realizing this. I want 100% of my husband. I want us to exist in our own universe. I think it would be extremely difficult if there were pieces of him walking the earth, pieces that I had no part in creating. That would be like having a ladder up to out planet, instead of us just floating as we please.

The plan for Tuesday is Gymboree. The family is going to check out the 0-6 month class and see what its about. At the Baby Citizen of the World Class, one of the babies kept screaming. TR must have liked the noise because she's been blessing us with high pitched screams at various points throughout the day. When she does it, I call my mother and let her listen. My mother laughs and screams back.

I can't wait to go back to the Bay. We're spending a month up there and I plan to pull out pots, pans and wooden spoons, place TR in the kitchen with my mom and let them have fun.

Indian Summer

I don't know if it's an Indian Summer or global warming but today was hot. When I saw the weather report, I knew we needed to make it to the park before the heat of the day destroyed our plans and forced us to take shelter indoors.

TR and I made our first trip into the sand and got on a swing. Around noon the park was full of babies, they were sitting on blankets and crawling in the grass. Mr A joined us with picnic food and our lawn mats. He laid them out under a tree, we put TR down and she crawled around.

I love picnics and I realized this was TR's very first real picnic. We went to one Sunday but since we sat at tables and got our food from caterers, I don't think it counts. A picnic must contain laying out on the grass and food to qualify as picnic.

Fire

My only t.v. viewing options are cable and the fire watch on local stations. I've missed my normal programming for 2 days. We didn't make it to the park yesterday because TR was napping during that hour. Mr A had a meeting in the morning, practice in the afternoon and a late meeting, so TR and I spent the day in bed.

Mr A is home today so we will all be getting into traffic. One of the fires is in an area called Porter Ranch. Mr A used to work out that way and I toured some of the model homes there. The models were fab-looking. They were the large cheaply built ticky tacky look alike boxes(circa Weeds theme song) on tiny lots. At the time I was looking, the homes were in the high $700ks. I was just looking to pass time because I was visiting him at work and he was in a meeting.

There is a PBS special I'm trying to catch. It's called "Driven to Despair." It's supposed to discuss how the exodus to the surburbs and exurbs, coupled with increase in gas costs fueled the mortgage meltdown. I did my conspiracy post on such a topic over a year ago. My sister's professor told her class in the 90's about the great surburb exodus and then a rise in gas prices which would have folks trapped and the cities would once again become the area of choice. The suburbanites would then have challenges getting to the city even for work.

I guess he couldn't predict easy credit and folks walking away from homes.

Mr A I and didn't buy a new home after we married because we planned to move to the bay area. 2006 was the peak of real estate and while some folks were still hollering 'buy' we expected a decrease in price. We didn't expect all of this but watching some of these fire sales makes us even more pleased that we decided to move slow and figure out what we liked and where we wanted to live.

That decision also allowed Mr A to start a business. We were watching the news today and saw that one of the corporations he used to work for will be having layoffs. The other corporation he worked for underwent major changes a bit after he left. I'm sure it is stressful to wonder if your location will be impacted.

We've really been blessed with how things have been timed for us. We were blessed even in where we chose to live. We had no idea we were so centrally located and on fantastic public transit routes. We moved here while Mr A was at his old job and making a salary that was high for Los Angeles, plus bonuses that were the amount of some folks yearly salary. Of course much was eaten up in taxes so I knew we could live on far less. God has really blessed, kept and made provisions for us. While I realize these are tough economic times, my faith is not (and never has been) placed in my husbands or my great careers and earning capacity. It is not in us having multiple incomes. I know God is the one who made it possible for us to have regular business and regular income. I know He blesses our clients so they can bless us.

I'm not worried but my lack of worry has nothing to do with my confidence and reliance on our strengths but in the power and control of God. I really can't understand folks who get so confident in their own power and decision making. It is grace that allows people to be well enough to work, so how does one take confidence in income from a job?

Diary of a Mommy

First check out this site. Daddy Diaries, I'll wait. Tell your friends there is a site for first time fathers. Most resources are targetted to first time mothers but daddies are curious too.

Time flies so fast. The three of us are in bed. TR is kicking around, smiling, looking and doing baby things. Last year this time she was my passenger and only two folks were in this bed. Even then she was adding joy and excitment through anticipation. Now its joy and excitement through her presence.

Last March I blogged about going to a bar-b-cue where the host had a 2 month old, another woman was a few months pregnant and I was barely showing. A few weeks ago much of this group got together again, for a kids birthday party. The 2 month old is now 8 months, she and TR sat on the floor together and she nearly toppled on TR. The other baby was a few weeks old. It was slightly amazing to me.

On Friday TR and I went to a music class for infants. It's called World Citizen Baby. The babies sang songs in Spanish, Portuguese, Swahilli, played instruments and basically laughed and screamed at their mommies who sang songs and danced their babies around the room. One woman even brought her nanny. Must be nice. Most of the women appeared to be in their late 30's, early 40's. That made me ponder what I was doing in that mix, maybe I need to go to gymboree.

TR and I have been walking to the park around the same time everyday. We purposely go at the same time because the same kids are there with their nannies. The nannies speak Spanish/Spanglish to TR and their charges, so I figure she can watch the kids play and pick up the basics of a second language.

On Saturday TR had a photo shoot. The lady brought such pretty props. It was lots of fun and I'm looking forward to the prints.

She'll finish the shoot in a couple of weeks and Mr A and I will take photos with her.

That is all.

Rain Rain Come Again

It rained this Saturday, it was lovely. I appreciate a rainy day, it creates a vibe I could describe but won't.

I had a very nice weekend. On Friday Mr A, TR and I went to Pacific Palisdades. I wrapped TR in a nice heavy cotton baby blanket and she slept almost from the time we got to the game until the time we got home. It was a quite cool out but she was toasty warm.

I think that was her first trip to the beach.

One of my sorors from my Bay Area chapter moved to L.A., so we visited a chapter and had a great time. We'll probably affiliate with that chapter. I also met another Soror who also moved down here from the Bay Area. She and her husband recently bought in Baldwin Hills and when they first moved to L.A. they lived in the area we live in. I thought that was pretty cool. Like-minded women.

I was gone @6 hours on Saturday and I don't think I've been away from TR that long since she came home. As a result of our 6 hour seperation one of my boobs was so heavy with milk that I thought I'd scream. My sweet little baby is better than any breast pump. She drained that milk. Mr A had fed her while I was gone but she seemed to want exactly what I had.

This actually happened before. When she was first born I had to pump. The first time I pumped I only got a few cc's/ml. The doctors measured her belly to determine how much milk she needed. The amount I had produced was the exact amount they had measured her to need. I was so happy!

It's amazing how God built a baby and a mommy. My production relaxes at night, I guess because she mostly sleeps through the night. Six hours in the night does not have the same result. But 6 hours in the middle of the day had a drastically different result. I guess TR and I are in sync.

On Sunday our intent was to hit the 8 a.m. service. We were up late Saturday and didn't get up as early as we wanted. As a result we went to West A so as not to miss the message. West A isn't our first choice so we'll have to be sure to do better.

Mr A's friend had gone ocean fishing and caught lots of tuna. I think Mahi. His friend and his girlfriend came by so Mr A could grill the tuna. His friend has a baby grill and Mr A has a man station and while Mr A can work miracles with the grill, he can work great works with a good grill.

The tuna was great. I got to hang out with my friend and Mr A got to hang out with his childhood bestfriend. TR had fun hanging with and talking to the adults and watching football.

I'm looking forward to putting up October decorations. Having a child in the house just makes life so festive.

Chuckle Chuckle Chuckle

McCain lost on stage With Music

What I'm Wearing Today

I was up at 2 a.m. and decided to shower. I missed showering yesterday. Mr A has been at a training from 8 to 5, and its been just TR and me at home this week.

It's only Wednesday and I'm grateful Mr A works from home. I'm sure I could do this everyday but I'm grateful we are doing this together.

Laat night, he came home, got the car and headed out to get gas and a hair cut. I was passed out when he got home. Sure I could have gotten gas while he was gone, but I'm turning into one of those women. You know..... the ones who don't get their own fuel, and can't work the remote control like my 83 year old aunt. She's been married 60+ years and has never pumped gas. She doesn't even know how. Her husband gets her car, fills it up and returns it. He pays for her gas as well. I know some men (not Mr A) who require their wife to pay for her own gas, labelling it as her expense.

I disagree with that especially if she uses gas to buy groceries. Some men want to be head of household, but want to share expenses. If I made TR pay bills, she'd be justified in telling me since she supports herself financially or chips in, I am limited in what I can tell her. I'd of course warm a switch up and work on her tail, but she'd be reasonable to think what she said.

Anyway, I woke up the 2nd time around 6 a.m and put on workout shorts and a white t-shirt. TR had carrots for an early lunch and since she has picked up the habit of touching the spoon as it head towards her mouth, I'm wearing carrots. I could have changed but then when she spit up milk on me a couple of hours later I would have hsd to change again. I look like baby food smeared housewife.

TR is generous. When she's eating she'll put her hand in her mouth and then put it in my mouth. I don't know how to tell her that I appreciate her gesture of giving but am not a fan of baby food and certainly not baby food she's already eaten on.

My mother was feeding her and I looked at my mother and knew exactly what TR ate. My mother had dried apple sauce on her forehead. I just recently began feeing her by spoon, Mr A. had held that task. He is amazing. When he feeds her she doesn't need a bib or cloth. Everything ends up in her mouth. They have ettiquette conversations so perhaps that's why she dines very neatly with him.

In other things, I think she can read. She moves her eyes in the correct direction when I'm reading. She can also swim. We were in the bath last weeks and she arched her body into back float position, relaxed and proceeded to float, as I held her.

I later noticed her doing the doggy paddle. Mr A is a great swimmer, he's even trained in survival swimming and he'll give her formal instruction a little later. Maybe next summer.

I may be exaggerating on the reading but everything else is exactly as it has happened.

The Mommy Life

I'm thoroughly enjoying the mommy life. It has to be one of the best roles ever invented.

Yesterday TR and I took a trip to our banks. I considered putting her in her stroller and taking a nice walk but decided to drive so I could get home and have lunch.

As I got dressed and did my hair, I noticed her watching me. She usually lays on the bed as I get myself ready. I remember being a kid and lying on the bed watching my grandmother get dressed on Sunday mornings. My mother would be dressed or at least in her slip by the time we awoke, so I don't really remember her getting ready.

After I got dressed I put TR's clothes on. She wore her pink sweats, a white shirt with a ruffled collar and a green jacket. It got warm during our outing so she removed the jacket. Dressing her is pretty fun because she laughs, smiles and moves as we dress her. My brother was dressing her last week and he was laughing because she is so interactive.

Since she can hold her head I'm able to carry her around pretty easily, so we walked around the village to do our errands. We got home and hung out.

I enjoy her so much. What's also amazing is my new waking hours. I'm up and alert by 6 a.m most mornings, waiting for her to wake up. She sleeps well through- most nights but I'm still up waiting. If I get her when she starts moving around and holding her head up, she'll ususlly start out with a smile. She tries to give us time to get to her before she starts yelling.

She is up from her nap, streching, smiling, and surveying her environment. It's just great to watch her wake up. Babies grow, change and learn so fast and I'm enjoying this journey.

Pants on Fire

Liar, Liar.

I've concluded that some liars aren't actually lying to me, they are deluding themselves. They are interpreting reality in a way they need to deal with their set of facts. Their experiences might give us a different view on the same facts.

Two people can see the same picture and intrepret its meaning in totally different ways. Those two ways might be different from what the artist intended. I try to remind myself of this when I am told one thing but the facts would lead me to my own and different conclusion.

I'm sure there are things I say that might lead folks to think I exist in a different reality. Perception is reality. I watch the campaign and various commentary of it and often think republicans can't be real. They can't really think Palin is competent to be president. They have to think something is wrong with McCain for choosing her.

I do think waiting for the president to die is a great job for a mother with young kids. That's probably the best gig imaginable for a work from home mom.

By the by, TR's home state is neighbor to Mexico. In fact she could see Mexico and walk to it, if she were in San Diego. She is female. She is qualified to be V.P. nominee on the Republican ticket.

The next time I'm shaking my head exasperated about liars, yearning to call them out, I shall remember that perception is nine-tenths of reality.

Stay in Your Lane

I'd love to tell someone to stay in their lane but I'm not experiencing any conflicts. I'm a servant of God, wife, mother, daughter, sister, cousin, friend, business owner, thinker, nearly full time viewer of MSNBC election coverage and don't have the time to give to enemies or unfriendlies. Maybe someome will provide me with a brief opportunity to throw on my sassy coat, tilt my head and say, "stay in your lane." LOL. I can sooo see myself doing that.

I'm cheesing the cheesiest grin because I think Dawn and Q of making the Band are adorable. Ain't love grand? Isn't romance amazing? I AM a sucker for love.

Mr A made and gave me coupons for my birthday last year. The coupons included things like belly rubs (I was preggers and addicted to my belly rubs), breakfast in bed, various massage, instant forgiveness, romantic picnic, all day church event, etc. He basically made a book of things he knows I enjoy. Recently I had to turn in one of my instant forgiveness coupons. As soon as I handed it to him he laughed and smiled. I thought that was uber romantic, especially since I think no one should be mad at me for more than 5 minutes. I have one instant forgiveness left.

For the material centered folks, he also gave me other gifts. I was out of town that morning and when he picked me up at the airport he had the first gift sitting in the front seat with the coupons. At home was more gifts laid across our bed. I'll take a gift but the thought he put into it was the grandest part for me.

My sweetums still evokes that unexplainable thing in me. That thing that makes me know fairytale love is real, makes me acutely feel the strength of it emanating from the core of my body, not just my mind. I always knew it was real and would have been thoroughly single before I accepted anything other than my fairytale.

So often I thank God. When Mr A and I sit down to dinner and TR is sitting in her swing making her little baby noises I feel even more like we've been blessed with the (my) fairytale.

Anyway as I was watching Dawn and Q, my heart was smiling and I was smiling because I enjoy the love that is apparent in others. I appreciate that quiet love.

I did wonder why they let the camera men in. There have been many ocassions when I get lost in Mr A and tune everyone and everything out, but I don't know how that could happen if I walked in a room full of cameras.

Disclaimer: This is not intended to convey a message that fairytale love has some magical potion. Fairytale love is just part of our foundation.

In other things TR and I were in the airport and a woman stopped and asked her if that was her first flight. I laughed and told her it was more like her 5th or 6th. TR is a frequent traveller. I hate flying but she seems to love it.

Coupons

Today I used a coupon and yesterday I used a few coupons. I'm getting pretty good at the use of coupons. I enjoy seeing those savings on my reciept. The key for me is leaving the coupons in the car. Mr A and I are gaining mastery of the art of grocery shopping. Our schedule has fallen in sync with the recurring grocery sales.

I prefer Pavillons which is Safeway in the Bay Area. It's visually pleasing with nice warm colors. I also like Gelson's becaust its warm and doesn't feel at all like a grocery store. I rarely go to Gelson's. I'll go to Ralph's but I notice its usually crowded and has longer lines. I adore Trader Joe's and have never really shopped Whole Foods. I like to get local produce so I love Farmers Markets.

What I really love, although I'm too lazy to do it often, is the Santa Monica Farmer's Market. Imagine warm mornings, a beach breeze, calm air, blue skies, the ocean in eyes view and picking out farm fresh fruits and veggies. It feels almost unreal.

The A family is planning to do yoga Tuesday afternoon. TR seemed to enjoy herself and I think its important she get the stimulation and exercise. Yoga actually makes me want to take a nap, but its supposed to help a person stay youthful. I also like Bikram yoga, so maybe I'll hit one of those classes up too.

This has been so random.

Mommy & Baby (and daddy too)

The A family attended yoga today. I had the most fun during the baby yoga time. TR got wore out and though she struggled to remain awake she fell asleep a few moments after class ended.



The babies did streching exercises and this is the dance/rejoice time.
Mr A and TR have been doing this dance, I call it the 'flying carpet' at home. Her balance and his ability to keep her balanced are well-synced. Don't try this at home kids!

One of the actresses from Whi.te Chicks was in our class. I kept looking at her trying to figure out why she looked familiar. Her baby was 5 weeks. I'm sure she noticed me looking, I hope she doesn't think I'm a fan. There was another woman who laid down and her boobs stayed up. Her baby was 5 months and the woman had not a sliver of fat. She also wore a midriff top and yoga pants. I got distracted trying to figure out how she managed that. She also laid down on her side and breast fed. Because her boobs stayed so pert, she managed to do that feeding with extreme ease.

Mommy Wars

As a work from home mommy, I consider myself to be outside the mommy wars. I likely wouldn't engage in the warfare if I worked outside the home or if I was a SAHM. I do think kids benefit from day care but my mother said kids like to relax in their own home. When we were kids and before my mother became a SAHM, we had a woman come to our house to take care of us. Nowadays, they would call that a nanny but back then, it was called 'a woman who came to our house to take care of the kids.'

That's sorta like people in Beverly Hills have 'guest houses' but the folks in Compton have back 'houses.' It really is the same thing, both have kitchens, bathrooms, and bedrooms. Or maybe its like how the Rodeo in Beverly Hills is pronounced Rho-day-O, but the Rodeo off Crenshaw is pronouced Row- Dee- O.

I digress. Since TR doesn't have the opportunities day care offers my goal is to provide her with similiar options. She'll do yoga for exercise, I found a music workshop for infants and the next session starts next month, I located a Spanish for babies and a few other interesting things. While these activities provide exposure to different things, mommy needs to get out the house on a more regular basis and that's more of a driving force than anything else.

I'm distracted now and don't feel like re-reading. Have a lovely weekend.

Alaska's Largest Rally

Women against Palin. 1400 people came out.

http://bigshow.bigfolio.com/?s=000011662&t=0e6a8ae03101be65098418ccb735e4a1

Dancing Machine

TR and I got back to L.A. on Sunday night. TR is a great passenger. So far on every flight she has fallen asleep right before take off and if she wakes up during the flight, she'll fall asleep before the descent could make her ears pop. She's usually awake when we touch down. So far flying with her has worked out great.

She was asleep when we arrived at the airport in L.A. Later that night Mr A was getting her ready for bed and when she awoke, she saw him, looked at him in slight surprise and she started dancing. Literally dancing and laughing. She had one leg moving up and down and one arm moving with her leg movements. I saw all of Mr A's teeth and all of TR's gums. They were very happy to see each other. We were in Oakland for 4 days, and it seems she was missing her daddy.

Had I known she was going to do all that, I would have had my camera ready.

Mr A told me to be sure that I blog about TR's enjoyment of football. I don't know how it happened but whenever the sport is on t.v. or when we're at a game, she is engaged. If we turn the t.v. from football she'll either holler or turn from the t.v.

In other things it appears TR's bank is on the brink of failure. My mother just recently opened the account for her. When TR is an old woman she'll be able to tell her grandbabies that she went to the polling station to vote for Obama and that her first bank account failed, and she wasn't even a year old. She's living an amazing part of history.

So Muuuuuch

I've been quite busy, so busy that its too much to blog about. I've been enjoying myself.

I don't practice criminal law but- as a favor or at annoying levels of arm twisting- I'll be Johnetta Cochran. I explain that the odds might be better with a public defender over me - a civil attorney. I think if folks want to commit crimes they need to keep a legal defense fund.

I won my first criminal trial which was also my first jury trial 2 years ago. A few of the jurors were crying and most came to hug and congratulate my client afterwards. I'm pretty good with the spoken word- if I must say so myself.

This most recent criminal matter was dismissed. I've advised the client that I'm done. Any more criminal matters will be handled without my assistance. Hopefully he'll pay me the remainder of my money and stay out of trouble.

Hopefully people will stay out of trouble so I can focus on the work I enjoy, representing the kiddies. Having folks freedom attached to my work is not fun.

TR spent much of the week with my mom. I was working so hard I barely got to hold her. I think I prefer a week or two of a hectic work schedule and a few months of down time. The up time gets my blood pumping and I enjoy the fruits during the down times.

On Saturday my chapter went to see The Familly that Preys and then to lunch. We skipped the movie and did lunch. It was so much fun. Sisterly activities is major highlight of sorority involvement. I keep missing events put on here in L.A. but one day, I'll make one.

On Friday my mom, TR and I went to Stockton (about 80 miles from Oakland) for a funeral. Prior to the service we went to breakfast. At the restaurant, I discovered where many of the working class Oakland blacks had gone. It was amazing. Black people are so mobile. I don't know if that's always a good thing, since a lot of the migration is to locate a cheaper cost of living.

Stockton is also an area with an extremely high rate of foreclosure. Even though people moved there for cheaper living, it apparently wasn't cheap enough. It must be awful to lose a home in the middle of what used to be orchards and pastures. Farmland had to die so cheap -and now empty- mcmansions could be built. Now we all have to pay more for produce because it has to be transported further.

I wonder where the people who have to move, move to? I also wonder if black people are the biggest victims of this? We always get in at the end of pyramid schemes. I know that the areas in CA with the highest foreclosures, such as Stockton and Riverside County are also the areas where the black people were moving to.

stuff

mr a and i are at a h.s. football game. watching the kids has made me fondly reflect on my h.s. years. it has also made me realize how fat kids are these days. i remember only one chunky cheerleaderr the entire time i was in school. everyone else was slender, no skinnies either. by chunky i mean she had rolls and meat on her frame. i saw a pic of her last week and she was obese. she's also living in the south so maybe she might do a'ight.
anyway..... on this squad the meaty/roll girls outweigh the average. the 2 slim girls consist of a blond and an asian. everyone else is latina. i've read that black women may all be obese fairly soon. i blame the terms bigboned and thick for this. as for the latinos, i think they may be hitting 90% obese by the end of next week.

when tr starts going to h.s. games i'll be sure to deliver decent snacks to she and her friends. these kids are here buying pizza hut pizza, snicker bars
and soda.

there are lots of young couples in our neighborhood. i think there must be fertility juice in the water because there are a good number of babies. its more like 1-2 per couple not 3-4 per home. our neighbor has a baby who just turned one. she and i and our daughters, went on a walk around the neighborhood. it was fun. we both want to maintain figures. if i i fall apart i hope its after 55. i want to be the attractive mommy even if i'm an old one. at a minimum i'd like to be fit 'till my kids are out of college.

the neighjbor also pays 125 a week for child care at a family day care and told me that's low. she also had a latina lady who would come to her home for 160. but unless i'm home to supervise i'd want a real caregiver. i'm glad i work from home.

whats weird is now that i live in a neighborhood where so many neighbors walk i think its odd to live somewhere where the neighbors don"t get out. we may have to move to berkeley when we transition because that's a city that has areas similiar to our l.a. neighborhood.

i have a pic, i have to figure out how to upload. the high school is in a pretty nice location

Messy

I've been involved in government matters since my teen years.

A few years ago Oakland elected a mayor and I knew the city would experience turmoil. I blogged about it. I'll have to find the link. Here it is!

Under the current mayor, Oakland now has 1) folks robbing folks of their laptops in public places like restaurants and on Bart and 2) robbers going to the 'nice' areas and taking over restaurants and robbing people. The robbers don't even bother putting masks on, they know Oakland Police won't be looking for them.

I'm convinced this awful mayor was elected because the strongest othy er candidate was Mexican. The Mexican candidate is great and committed to the city. I was walking in support of the Mexican mayor and people expressed the fear that if he was electerd the Mexicans would prosper.

People are okay to suffer, to prevent another group/person from prospering.

I hope this doesn't happen in our presidential election. I was watching CNN's Campbell Brown interview some man named Tucker. Instead of him answering her questions he just continued to beat the point that Palin has more experience than Obama. Did McCain really pick her just so he could jump back on the experience topic.

It seems republicans primary concern is controlling the lives of others. No abortion, no gay marriage, no sex ed. God has granted us free will, but I guess the republicans think they are bigger than God because they want to take free will away.

I have to watch as Oakland tanks. I hope the hate people hold won't mean I have to watch as the country tanks- further than where Bush has tanked it.

I'm frustrated by the madness and will be purging my mind of the mess. It's all too confusing. I'll just remain prayerful and believe God hears.

Unlike some of the republicans I won't be praying that torrential rains interrupt the lives of anyone.

Edit: After reading that old post I'm now inspired to post about the corruption. How the city manager and apparently a few other city people, were interfering in police investigations and arrests of their drug dealing, organized crime operating relatives.

Lies, Deceit, Cover-Ups- Palin is the grandma

We've had enough lies, deceit and cover-ups with Bush and Cheney administration.


Palin seems equipped to continue the deceit.


Palin was in Texas delivering the keynote speech at an energy conference when she says she went into early labor to her special needs child. Instead of going to a hospital she hopped a flight from Texas to Alaska. That flight would be about 6 hours.

The rule of thumb is, each child you give birth to, comes faster than the last. After 4 kids baby number 5 should have popped out. She got on a flight and none of the airline personnel were aware she was pregnant or in labor.

Then she goes back to work 3 days after giving birth.

http://www.adn.com/626/story/382864.html


This all sounds bizarre. It makes more sense if Palin is covering up and pretending the babe is hers when it is really her 16 year old daughters.

We are no longer in the 40's/50's. What is the point of the lies? Is this just something the non-sex having pro-life folks do? If its true we'll know for sure that McCain is an idiot. He didn't even take time to google the woman. If you google her, you will find that these questions have existed since April 2008.

TR for VICE PRESIDENT

We used to joke that TR was going to be Obama's running mate.

With the pick of Palin, I now realize that I should have given TR's name to McCain. She's a proven fighter, a change agent. Being born isn't easy. You have to be the one sperm out of the masses to reach the egg. You have to survive as your mommie's natural body chemistry attempts to destroy you. She has changed a lot since moving in with us, she's added hours of fun.

The only difference bewteen TR and Palin is TR probably would have turned the position down. Although she could appeal to women and the youth vote, she'd likely tell McCain it would be unfair to leave the country in the hands of someone unprepared to run a country.

I won't be voting for McCain but if he happened to win, is it really fair to put Palin in charge of the country he says he puts first. Everyone better get their 5 million together and bank it overseas.

Ick on Solange

I'm sure its hard being straight up and down skinny when your sister is curvy Beyonce. But being rude for no reason and lacking the skills to be rude while still coming off as sweet shows she needs Papa Knowles to train her in media savvy.

Check out "Solange's Akward Moment" http://www.fox5vegas.com/video/17313509/index.html

By the By, she called Jay Z her brother-in-law. Was she trying to give their 'secret' away?

Let Us Pray- My Confessions

I need to better with discipline. Discpline is key. At church Sunday, a visiting minister said "Destiny requires discipline."

I have a vision of my Bel Air home and discipline is the only thing that has prevented me from already owning it.

I don't believe there is anything I (or anyone else) can't achieve, its a matter of being willing to go after it and going after it with diligence.

My brother recently got the permits and approvals he needed to start a particular business. Everyone- including the folks who have to issue the approvals- has been quite surprised by how smoothly he went through the process. It usually takes folks a few years to get through. He is diligent and disciplined as a habit and got through each phase in under the timelines. This is also a business where lots of folks finish the process than lose their licenses because they don't remain disciplined.

I think my being the youngest affected my discipline. My mom is exceedingly discplined and organized. She is on top of everything. My sister is disciplined and organized. My brother does go on hiatus every now and again but he works so hard doing his up times that things don't fall apart when he shuts down. My father is disciplined in regards to certain things, most specifically his health. He eats healthy, works out and keeps active.

I think my lack of discipline is more about birth order. The youngest sorta floats.

I too can be disciplined. I'm not, but I can be.

While I could and want to hold TR all day, I want her to learn discipline through my example. Mr A is super duper disciplined but I don't want her to associate discipline as solely a man quality . One thing I realize about being disciplined is the people who have it, make the job they are doing look easy. Folks will want what they have and not realize they are actually consistent in keeping it easy.

My mom used to work at a school and she made her job look super easy. One of the young teachers went back to school and got a Masters so she could get the job my mom had. She was actually plotting. My mother was offered another position at a different school, which she gladly took and the young teacher became the resource specialist.

After a few months the older teachers told my mom that the young teacher was overwhelmed in that position. Her case load was huge and it was hugely time consuming. That young teacher didn't know that if my mom can't sleep, she doesn't lay there wishing for sleep. She gets up and does something that needs to be done. She didn't percieve her job to be 8:30 to 2:45. She didn't put anything off. She'd work from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. without complaint. She was organized, disciplined and diligent.

She never looks at anyone else and complains about what they aren't doing, she'll just do it and keep moving. I've never heard her blame anyone for why something didn't get done. She will figure out a way to make it happen. My brother is the same way.

That is discipline. That is how I'm going to be. Self-disciplined. When you are disciplined you don't have to suffer the consequences of a lack of discipline.

What are we praying for? No, not that I'll be disciplined. I know God has given me the strength to do it. It's on me to do it. We're praying that these folks quit acting silly and stingy and this case settles for a huge amount, and I can move on with my life.

Crack Wacks

I'd like to send my thanks once again to my dear cousin who shared this laugh with me.

Apparently Jo Jo, crack and concert tours don't mix well.

Hillarious!!!!!


Hurry, you know how folks like to demand the funniest stuff be removed.

Man Shortage

I now know why Atlanta is experiencing a man shortage.

Some women apparently have a husband, a boyfriend and "company".
http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/atlanta/stories/2008/08/22/boyfriend_confronts_couple.html?imw=Y

The Next Time..........

I have $1000 to burn, this is where I will be. Then I'll take myself to lunch. The total will probably be @$600, but I need $1000 to burn because I like to have money left over.

http://www.damoneroberts.com

I'll let an ar-tist go at my brows.


http://www.warrentricomi.com.

I want a great cut.

Domestic Designs

One of my desires is to be a domestic (looking for any word other than Diva, why are folks who label themselve diva generally uncute?) ...................... powerhouse.

Last night I made shrimp and sausage jambalya from scratch. Zatarains mix stayed on the shelf. For dessert I made Oreo Cookie Ice Cream Pie. I even made us a late lunch. I'm doing quite well in my homemaker goals. Mr A loved everything I made.

My ultimate goal is to be the mommy that prepares breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for her kids. When we were kids we only ate out on Saturdays, after events, and never fast food. My grandmother loved to cook and and my mother always had something prepared for us.

I know we had fast food chains as children, but for some reason it seemed like folks had more time back then. Maybe its because my mom and grandmothers were stay at home folks. I look at kids now and they are always in a rush. Eating in the car and running busy lives.

When we were in Jr. High, my mom would make us sandwiches to eat on our way to our afterschool piano lessons. Other than that, when we were out, we'd stop at a park and have a little picnic. She seemed to have so much time, just for us kids.

My grandmothers always had full meals with left overs prepared everyday, except Saturday. Now wives- including me- are bringing home food to feed the family. Is there r eally less time? Are we just worse at managing it? What the heck is going on?

I also want to be great at keeping the family organized. My mom said kids like structure so I'm sure that's why she was so together raising stairstep kids. Being a classroom teacher to 30 kids prior to having her own probably gave her invaluable experience in organizing us.

I want to give my child(ren) the type of childhood I had.

Before TR arrived, I had visions of my baby in the back of the car, in her car seat, kicking her feet and making baby noises. I also envisioned the baby in sunglasses- I have yet to find a pair for her. Now I envision her with her a sippy cut, dropping crumbs and saying baby words. I envision her and our other children having conversations and me chuckling at how kids operate. I envision all this happening in our Bel Air and Oakland Hills home.

Mr A and I have concluded that we're going to live in both cities.

These are my domestic and family designs.