Missing Child- UPDATE HOME SAFE

Please post it anywhere and to everyone:

Her name is

Jazlyn Alexandria Patton
Chicago, Illinois - last seen on 51st & King Drive (#3 bus)
Age 13
BD 1/6/94
She is 5'6 160 lbs and she was last seen wearing Baby Phat jeans (indigo color) a black long sleeved shirt crew neck a black coat with a pink fur lining and black air force ones.

Things Mr. A has Taught Me

During our engagement I'd ocassionally be annoyed at folks. I'd be annoyed for silly reasons like I thought they were lying on themselves or bragging or being competitive. I'd be in Mr. A's ear sharing my complaints.

One day he stopped, looked at me and asked, "why do you care? What impact do these people have on your life that makes you care what they do?" He said it in such a way that I felt a tug of ........ shame. I said something like "they think I'm too stupid to know the truth." He told me their lies had nothing to do with me. I had to ask myself "why do I care?", I had no reason. I just had too much free time and was letting my mind be idle and giving the devil room to get comfy. I decided to let it all go. I did.

It's good when your mate won't let you dwell in crazy. I told him about my little blog spat and he was quite disappointed. I tried to explain the reason but he was like "you can't let folks control you and when you get into that and allow yourself to respond you are letting people in cyber world who you will never meet, control you." Again its good when folks don't let you pretend your mess doesn't exist. He will not let me dwell in madness. I appreciate that.

Mr. A has taught me I don't need to fight other folks battles. This is actually a work in progress. As we can see from the burglarly post he has this issue too. He was trying to stop a thief on gp and not because he thought he was taking our stuff. We're both into service. I think my desire to get involved is a hazzard of my profession. I feel like I can protect people. If I see what I think is injustice (but who am I to judge) I want to jump in and defend. I don't want to see someone be mistreated if I can maybe stop it.

I take that stuff more personally then I would a personal injustice. I feel like I can handle stuff, beat me down but I will always recover.

The amazing thing is when I saw someone doing the same stuff I used to do- being overly concerned and focused about stuff that didn't matter to their own life- I realized the madness of it. Its good to be able to see the mess you espcaped and knowing why your really don't want to go back into. I was even more grateful to Mr. A for being strong.

If I'm satisfied with my own life and living it to the fullest I won't have time or desire to pause to focus on others. So when I get too interested in what others are doing- in a way that isn't positive- I find something to do.

Once you get free- stay free.

Okay, I think that was the end, I'm watching this red lobster commercial and feeling hungry and I can write no more.

Crackhead Thieves

I just finished reading about the fright Honest had with some likely crackhead. I skimmed over our run in with a crackhead thief some weeks ago. I was gonna blog about it but then I hesitated because I don't want my stalkers/haters to have too much info on me.They'd be over there trying to help out the defense and probably trying to get our address so they can come look through my underwear drawer and sniff my toilet. Its a shame when crazy people get internet. They just mess up a good thing. This is the post where I mentioned the criminal activity.

What has happened was....... abbreviated version.....

We've been on notice that thieves have been on the prowl in our neighborhood. One sunny afternoon, Mr. A saw a crackhead pushing a cart outside our garage. He didn't know whose stuff was in the cart but he knew a crackhead bum did not live around these parts and he wouldn't let the guy take the stuff. He also knew the cart he was pushing (it wasnt't ours) looked familiar. We later realized it belonged to a neighbor.

Mr. A knew the crackhead had likely stolen the stuff which he'd covered in a garbage bag, and he was being kind just to let him pass. I was on the phone while this was occuring and listening to the conversation. The crackhead left after putting up a minimal stance of resistance and Mr A pulled the cart into the garage. He then saw that our car window had been broken. He started chasing the criminal. A woman from down the street saw Mr. A, took her dogs in the house, got in her car and proceeded to chase the thief with Mr. A as a passenger. They saw him again and Mr A demanded to be let out.

Again Mr. A is military trained so he was on the guy. These guys are trained to fight guerillas in the jungle so a crackhead in the city isn't that great of a challenge. They rounded a corner and Mr. A couldn't hit the corner without looking to ensure the guy wasn't on the other side waiting to surprise attack. This is where Mr. A lost visual. By this time I was outside looking and on the phone with the Po-Po. I wasn't worried about Mr. A's safety I was worried that he might kill the guy.

I know that if he had got him immediately then we'd have self-defense but if he chased him and beat him to death, then we might have some jail time. The woman who had used her car to pursue the suspect (yeah I watch too many cop shows) came and had me get in the car. She was also concerned that Mr. A might kill the guy. I guess she thought I could stop it? Pul....leeeze. I am not that idiot. I'd be over there screaming for Mr. A to stop and distracting him and allow the crackhead a advantage. Nope. Not me. I know how these things work. Let men be men. Emotional wrecks need to back away.

We saw Mr. A and I got out of her car to walk with him. The police arrived a little while later, took a report and within 15 minutes they had Mr. A come around to i.d. the rogue. Good ol' L.A.P.D. who I had 0 confidence in actually went and found the criminal. I didn't even think they'd look. Then they sent out a finger print guy and another investigator.

Fortunately the thief didn't get away with any of our stuff because Mr. A being a good samaritan wasn't gonna let him steal anyone's stuff. What are the odds of stopping a crime and discovering that you were protecting your own self?

So hopefully we will get to trial because Mr. A and the other neighbors are ready to testify.

By the time the police arrived swarms of neighbors had gathered. I had to sneak away from them. It's good to live around folks that care what goes on in their area, but they will put you to work if you let them.

One woman had a bundle of emails listing various thefts. The teens who commit crimes in the afternoon. The crackhead who was trying to victimize us was a grown adult, so he didn't fit that profile. He also had the nerve to remove his sweatshirt while he was running from Mr. A. I guess he thought taking it off made him invisible.

Crack is wack and will wack up a brain.

Game Recognize Game

Everynow and again I have to remember the devil is Lie. You can't let him in your head. For a minimal second I almost let myself believe the devil.

I'm sure ya'll saw the interactions over at The Next Big Thing.

Sometimes people will try to run game on you but its good to be able to pause and think on it. Stop the game. Imagine someone saying "one" of your friends ain't your friend. Then there you are investigating, doubting and suspecting all your friends because of what someone who is nowhere near a friend said. That type of mess must be ignored. It could be true but its still a mind game. Instead of saying "one" ain't your friend, the person that wasn't trying to mess with your head would tell you who it is. I mean if I said all that, then I'd finish the sentence and say who and why.

I don't suspect anyone I know to be my friend but I have been suspecting this nutty stalker I attracted. I can't control other people's mouths, minds or fingers. I've decided to leave even that suspicion alone. I can't worry about folks I don't know who think we're friends. Although I will be on guard if I ever see this person in person again- which I shouldn't. If someone needs to focus on me to get through their life then all I can do is support them. Hopefully their behavior doesn't progress.

The bright side and there is always a bright side: I am clearly fascinating to some.

We were listening to the radio this weekend and a woman was on talking about her book. The book was about being thankful. It was a different spin on the secret. She said people who are thankful recover faster from things. If tragedy strikes their life the skill of being thankful for all that went right before that tragedy helps them through. She said people look at those thankful people and wonder what it is you have that makes you able to stand through storms.

I remember after my Grandmother's funeral one of my mom's cousins called her up talking foolish and balling on the phone. She said she didn't know how we held up so well and she didn't think she could survive the death of her mother. Now this cousin is a fool because just because we weren't laid out in the floor kicking and screaming doens't mean we aren't mourning and doesn't mean you should call talking foolishness or doing insensitive stuff. We just knew we'd been blessed to have loan of her for the years we did, she was blessed to have a good and long life- of course we would have like her to be 100+ but we were grateful for the gift of her in our life. You can't wallow in self-pity when you realize you have reason to be grateful.

I blame my ability to be grateful on God. When you know God is in control of everything you don't have to wallow in your troubles. Some people look at me and can't understand why my life seems so charmed, so blessed. Its because all I see are the blessings. If all I see are the blessings then when you look at me, all you see is a blessed person. I see a blessing in everything. I see the hope and promise in everything.

People get mad at you and want to disparage you because you stay happy but I realize how God has blessed me and how he continues to bless me and I have no reason to stay down over things.

I remember dealing with this in college. My first week at school one of the older seniors told my sisters best friend that he hoped I didn't lose my sunshine. He seemed to think some boy would come along and still (used that word on purpose) the pep in my step. But my pep isn't that fragile, it isn't built around temporal stuff and people. I told one of my friends who also had joy like me and she said when you have sunshine people think you must be dumb and ditzy. They think you are too dumb to see problems and therefore you can stay cheery.

I can't count the times someone has implied or outright said I'm naive or perhaps optimistic. Its not naivety, perhaps it resembles optimism, because its hope and trust in that God can make a way for me. Faith in God gives you hope and a belief that even if things go bad, if I'm alive they can get better and if I'm dead its straight to glory.

There are many situations in life that hurt. Its how you rise from the hurt that makes the difference.

I realize this post may look a bit odd after I just finished battling with folks on other blogs but this is what I'm talking about. In situations that might have folks dwelling and angry and angsty, I instinctively focus on how God has been good to me. I focus on my blessings. It always makes me see things in a good and new perspective.

Airplanes, buses and trains

As much as I hate to fly I am always en route via airplane.

On Sunday morning I flew into Oakland. We took the coastal route so the flight was extremely smooth. As we got close to landing we began our descent into the fog. Having faced this fog before and having seen the pilots instruments that help in land in that visibility, I closed my eyes, relaxed and asked the Lord to either help him use the instruments or let a break of sun shine a path for us.

I couldn't see the ground until we were a few feet above the water. Then we hit the pavement. Planes in Oakland touch down just small distance from the water. One little misstep and we'd be in the Bay.

I sent Mr. A a text and told him no more morning flights. I always forget that Bay fog. My brother picked me up and I told him and he said as he was driving to the airport and saw how low the fog was he knew how I'd be feeling. I was grateful to live in L.A. where the fog doesn't hang like that. My brother mentioned how he loves flying into L.A. because its always so sunny.

I flew back to L.A. on Monday night. The flight was delayed 47 minutes due to the Marine Layer a.k.a. fog. We took the valley/mountain route so it was quite bumpy. This fog was super low as we came into LA. It was so low and thick that I didn't see the ground AT ALL. We landed, touched down and I could still not see the ground. It was eerie.

How did I end up with fog in both directions? The flight from Oak to LAX was fast. Maybe 45 minutes from take off to landing. I think the pilot knew I wanted to watch the Game.

How Much Is Money Worth?

I've been trying to limit my work to the city of L.A. L.A. is large enough that I don't need to go outside the boundaries. There is money to be made - I guess - outside the city but if I have to get up early to go out to get it or get in traffic then I lose a bit of enthusiasm.

I took a case 40 miles away. I truly debated if I should do it. There was a time I considered driving 100 miles to make far less. Traffic usually comes into L.A. so if I schedule stuff for the morning it should be okay. Hopefully traffic coming back to L.A. won't be so bad. My mother suggested I take the bus or train or have Mr. A drive me.

I don't think she thinks I drive that well. I'm not sure where these doubts about my driving ability come from. Mr. A. also thinks I'm a questionable driver. He's an L.A. native which means 80 is moving too slow. I think 70 is pretty cool. The only place I speed is the on the windy Oakland Hill roads. I like being a passenger. I'm like the little old lady who waits for her husband to drive her everywhere. Those days of being 15 and just itching to drive are long long gone. Unless its the Hills. I love driving in the hills with nothing but the trees and the views around me.

The wild thing about my reluctance to take this case is I know I have the potential to make a good sum of money in a couple of months. Now if I was making 6 figures a month I could see myself being finnicky but not being willing to drive 40 miles to get this, is what makes me know how much money is worth to me.

It's not worth giving up my comfort. I have court 300 miles away next week and I don't mind that trip like I mind that 40 mile trip to nowhere. At least when I get off the plane I'll be somewhere worth being. Sorry to the city 40 miles away, but you must know you're a boring place.

I'm one of those people that doesn't like to be in suburbs. I like the city. I feel like I'm leaving life behind when I go outside city limits. I realize its odd but the older I get the less willing I am to spend time in burbs. I like fast paced activity. I like outdoor shopping areas. I haven't been to an indoor mall, outside San Francisco, in over 6 months.

Mr. A and I are planning to go to a store to pick out some things but I can't bring myself to go to the 'burbs where the nearest store is. We're going to wait until we get to the Bay Area so we can go to Emeryville.

It's okay though, I know people that hate the city. They can't wait to get back to the peace and quiet of their area. My great-grandfather didn't want to move back to Pasadena because it was too big. My great-aunt always said she would never live in some big city. Sadly for her, her small town became one of the fastest growing places in CA and now the population is larger than Oakland. But it still isn't a city. Just a lot of houses and a couple of malls with chain restaurants and movie theaters.

Some Strategy

I've always liked my life and what I was blessed with. I've always been confident and proud of who my family and extended family are and what my ancestors accomplished.

I'm always on a continuous path of improvement but no one can make me feel bad about what I have, don't have or what I'm doing. Well, my mother can but that's a whole other post. If my mother says I'm slacking it isn't because I'm not doing what she wants, its because I'm not doing what I have the potential to do.

I digress.........

I've never had the keep up syndrome. I've never had the "let me prove it" problem. The idea that I would allow others to control my behavior is offensive to me. I like to be sure I'm doing what I'm doing because I want to do it. God made me unique, it would be a dishonor to spend my life becoming a copy.

I can look at what other people have and think its wonderful. I can part from their wonder and not spin my wheels with how to top it or match it. I can look at my own life and think its wonderful but not think any observer wished they had it. Just like I'm happy with my life, I assume others are happy with their own life. Well I do think most people would love to live in L.A. or the Bay but that's the region not my house. I'd love to live in NYC and I figure most people would want to as well. I guess maybe its easy to think stuff that is desirable to you would be desirable to others. It's a blessing that people want different things. The natural resources and space are dispersed for a reason.

Anyway........ I believe going into business was made easier for us because we don't have a strong attraction to things or a need to Keep Up. We're both competitive. We compete to be our very best, not to best other people or other entities. Had Mr. A kept his job and if I had even worked part time, we'd have been rolling in things that go bling bling- L.A. style- the day we wed. But shining and blinging so others could see us shine and bling was not our thing.

Here we are now..... we chose to start out with a more moderate lifestyle, we sacrificed a little, were cautious in our spending, and we chose to focus on each other and our business. We've spent this first 1.5 years living the retirement life and enjoying our full time together. The financial changes were especially drastic for Mr. A. He went from a stable income that was high by L.A. standards to having a wife who likes sushi and Crusteceans, and a bank account that needed to last while we built a business and still got enjoyment from the area we live in.

God has blessed us. When we started working to build our business in earnest he allowed the phone to start ringing. People were calling us to hire us. God allowed us to be in the right places and the right times and be prepared. And today God blessed us both even more greatly- business wise.

In the words of the Jefferson theme song. "We're Moving on Up!" Moving closer to my Bay Area home with a view. That's not a literal move. Business is going well here in L.A. When we have a stock pile of cash we'll go back to the bay and get my Bay Views. The Bay is more expensive than L.A. so we'll need more money to buy land with views.

Back to My Roots

Thanks for stopping by. I wish I could move those two years of posts at Blogsome over here to Blogspot.

Life is changing everyday. I'm excited. Stay tuned for the exciting times of C2A- a California Cutie.

Moving

I guess I'm moving to Blogsome Bay. I like the options to delete posts, spammers watch out, and I like the ability to password protect entries.

Check me out at Call2arms.blogsome.com

WHOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!

theplace,
originally uploaded by call2arms.

I think I have found the place, not only that but my cousins ex husband has offered to sponsor my use of this place. It's a country club. Their initiation fee $50k. Plus a hefty monthly fee. But in the price is use of the facilities and the ability to sponsor folks like me. YAAAAY. I don't have all the details yet, but I'm guessing moms will still have to cover the food costs.

Now if someone gives me a good dress, we might be able to have this event and only have to pay for flowers and invitations.


And why is the sweater/shawl/vest I got in NYC last summer for $50, now being sold at Neiman for a few hundred. Maybe I should be a buyer.

I'm back on blog vaca.

VACA

I'm on a blog vaca, I left some entries to remember me by. I didn't run of things to say but I must use my time differently. I'll be visiting your blog, so get to writing.

Coley asked me about my name C2A Call2Arms, a while ago. Another blogger did the abbreviation and I liked it and kept using it.

My blog is entitled Fighting For Something, so since I needed to be prepared for the fight I named myself C2A because I was making a call to myself to have my own weapons ready.

Things and Things

My guys tempature has gone down and his compliant behavior has disapppeared. When he was really sick, I'd give him ice, water, soup, any suggestion and he would comply. This morning I offered him water and he said "no." Then this morning he said, I can probably go back to work earlier than I thought.

Oh nooooooo. He stood up and realized he was weaker than he thought but his dominant nature is back. Yaaaaay. He's a great patient though.

Today I took a mini tour of Beverly Hills, homes and viewed an open house. It was great. The hot tub was built into the pool and was underneath two waterfalls.

The house was 3,993,000. So if anyone wants to deposit some cash into my pay pal account to get me closer to my home in the Hills, I promise to let you spend the night when you come to L.A.

My friends from Jr. High came by to visit, so I'm about to chat with them, because right about now I am being the total hermit.

Take care all, enjoy yourselves.

Friendships/Weddings

This past weekend, my family and I went to a wedding. The wedding was nice although 45 minutes late, the processional was quick, nothing strange happened. It was destroyed in my opinion, by the ministers. There were two, the main guy tried to bring a message that made no sense, then the second person wanted to tell us info they had discussed in premarital counseling. He was also long winded.

They never said I now pronounce you man and wife. They jumped the broom and the minister stood in front and the photographer was unable to get a photo and the audience couldn't see it.

The groom was the son of my mother's childhood friend from church and school.

My mom was telling me she had been friends with the woman, "B" for over 50 years.

We went to Jr high and high school with B's children and my mother and B live 4 houses away from each other. I also went to college with the daughter. All but 2 of the groomsmen went to jr high and high school with us, so I guess the son keeps his friends too. I thought that was very nice.

My mother has another friend C, C's parents and my mother's parents grew up together in Bakersfield. Both C's family and my mother's family moved to Oakland at the same time, went to the same church and C and my mother.

So C, and my mother met B at the same time at church, and they went to the same jr. high through high school. My mother always has really nice stories about her and B growing up and hanging out. Whenever my mom and B get together, they will talk for hours and hours and hours and have lots of fun.

A few years ago B had a retirement party. B and her husband did quite well for themselves, have a fab home and nice children. B's husband got a promotion and began working in D.C. They bought a home there. B travels back and forth between the two states.

C asked my mother why B needed a house in D.C. and Oakland. My mother told C because they could afford it.

C was invited to B's party but didn't show up, she was in town and after the party she called my grandmother and tried to get details. My grandmother wouldn't give any details, she told her she should have come if she wanted to know about it.

C didn't come to the wedding this weekend either. B paid for the reception. It was probably around 30k or 40k for about 300 guests.

My mother instructed us not to give her the phone if C called looking for information about the wedding. She told us when you have a happy event, you can tell who is jealous by their failure to attend.

My sister asked my mother if B had went to C's son wedding, my mother didn't go and didn't know. My brother is C's godchild, he went to the wedding and said B wasn't there. I asked my mother why I wasn't invited to the C's son wedding and she said, the bride had only given C 10 invites because the plates were $100 each. My brother said about 200 people were at the reception.

Which leads me to my next point. I know people have wedding budgets. I realize I don't have to pay for my reception so I won't have this issue, but why would a bride limit the guests her groom can have? Why would she want his family and friends to be overwhelmed by hers. It's one thing if they don't come, it's another not to invite them because of money. She could have spent $50 a plate and doubled the guests. If my mother wasn't covering the reception I would figure something out not to limit his guests in favor of mine.

My mother said at her wedding reception she was able to invite everyone and she told me for mine I could have however many people I want. My groom's mother can invite whoever she wants and so can he.

What the heck is wrong with folks? What the heck kind of marriage is that? I need to check and see if they are still together.

Song of Solomon 8

6 Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.

7 Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of his house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.


This love is some powerful love and its in the Bible.

Jealousy

I don't like to accuse people of being jealous of me because it begs the question "what is so good about you?" Therefore I will speak of those with jealous dispositions. It's not me they are jealous of, they are jealous of what they want that they think I have/am/do.

I think I am finally understanding jealously, someone who aspires to be or have what they think you are/have. Most jealous people probably pass for a pal, they are that pal that makes derogatory statements at every opportunity.

My dear older cousin and I had this discussion today. She told me that in life, when you are young you are basically on equal footing with your peers. Everyone is finding their way and doing similar things.

As you get older people find their path and branch out, some set themselves apart and seem to progress, that is when friendships end. Some will look at you and may begin to put down progress you appear to be making. You will make them feel inferior and they like to be above. That friendship won't work.

You are okay as long as you are from comparable backgrounds, and they are currently above you. If you seem to surpass what they want for themselves, you become competition and they must bring you down.

I told my cousin about a girl that told her best friend that I had a trust fund from my wealthy father, didn't have to work, lived a carefree life, and went to law school on a whim. I asked her why she told this lie and she said to make the girl jealous because that is what the girl would like for herself.

My cousin thought the things the girl was lying about were things she also wanted and that she had to uplift herself by leaving the other girl twisting in the wind. Both individuals were unhappy with their self. One felt the need to lie, the other felt hurt because she thought someone had what she didn't.

I have learned that the girl who told this lie seems to believe it. I have never told her anything about my father, in fact she told me she thought he was dead since I rarely mention him. She told me that I should have my father give me money for my wedding since he has all that money he isn't spending. I just looked at her.

First I don't need her, nor did I invite her into my wedding finances and second why is she trying to get into my parents finances? Is it normal for people to ask how much you are spending on a wedding? I've never thought to ask anyone that question. I just want to know if the cake is buttercream.

My cousin said she advises her kids to look at, how people are. Some people attach themselves to you based on something they want that you have, it could be social status, friends, etc. Don't get caught up in it.

It's okay to have these people as acquaintances but don't get too deep. You will have true friends but they can probably be counted on one hand.

I'm learning that lesson. People have told me that the girl is jealous and I've tried to figure out why she should be jealous. I am still building.

As I reflect on it the things she has done and say to me, I realize her goal was build an image. I never paid attention until recently and now she does her best to find a way to criticize anything surrounding me and uplift herseilf in words.

Fighting to Keep It All

I've been trying to think of creative ways to keep my house with the furniture in it and have an apartment and life in L.A. My house is too cute to let go.

I want to lease it to a friend but only certain friends, I don't want the place to become a den of iniquity because I may want to return to it sometime.

Today my mom informed me that my sister's best friend from high school is planning to return to the Bay. This best friend has been away for over 10 years, college in Atl, then life in Atl, then Texas, but she wants to return. YAAAYYYYY!! because I really like this girl, I was said when she left Ga. because she was the best tour guide and hostess ever, although she usually came and stayed in the hotel with us

So if I can rent my house to her for $500, I'll be able to maintain the house and she'll get a great deal because she won't find rent cheaper than that. My only requirement will be that I can leave my things in the house, which also helps her because she doesn't have to worry about furnishings.

Too many thoughts, if I can settle this case I have real quick then it also won't be an issue. Let's send positive thoughts that this case will settle with enough cash for me keep the house here, live there, eat and shop.

Provisions

My grandmother had a couple of birdbaths, my mother does too.

God uses people to help his people out. The birds could go to the lake or some other source to get water, but they can also stop by the house and help themselves.

When I look and see the birds making use of the baths at their leisure, I think that God used my grandmother and mother to help some of his creatures. Usually I don't pay attention to the birds but every so often one will catch my attention and I think if God can assist his bird, he'll certainly make provisions for me.

I used to have a neighbor that would feed the birds. The birds never pooped on his car, they didn't poop on ours either, although sometimes they'd get close, but perhaps when you help, you won't be hurt by the help you've given.

THE ONE

The ONE does exist.
The one that lifts my heart when I'm mad, sad, or blue.
The one that comforts me without saying a word.
The one whose existance makes me smile inside.
The one that gives hope to thoughts of my future.
The one whom money or beauty isn't an issue.

The one who seems to understand what I'm saying.
The one I love even when I'm upset.
The one who supports me when I feel wronged by others.
The one I want even when we don't agree.
The one who loves me with my imperfections.
The one who loves me when I think I'm right and they know I'm wrong.

The one that keeps me feeling special.
The one that keeps me feeling beautiful.
The one that makes me believe I can achieve anything.
The one whom being without seems unthinkable.
The one who seems to have always been there.

The one whom I want to please
The one whose pleasure is my joy
The one I want to honor and cherish
The one I want to tell and keep telling everyone about.

I have THE ONE.

ALIVE

I made it back from Palm Springs alive.

This may not seem like a major feat to some but I could have died.

I went to Palm Springs with my guy, his friend and the wife of his friend. On Saturday the girl and I planned to go shopping, the guys went to play golf. The girl and I got severely lost, then got bad directions. We ended up circling the San Bernandino Mountains, in the middle of a storm. We were traveling on a two lane, windy road, at 4000 feet, with nowhere to go but down if we slipped. The signs said "icy" and "rock slide area."

We were told that if we took the 74 we would travel for about 15 minutes and end up at the 10 freeway and could head back to the freeway and be about 20 minutes from the shopping stores. We thought about turning around and asked a man how far was the freeway, he looked at his map and said about 10 miles. Well about 70 miles later we were still driving, we considered turning around but kept deciding not to because we had went so far and didn't know if the freeway would be the next mile. We finally got down off the mountain and found that we were 76 miles from San Diego.

We entered a town that appeared to be Mayberry, it was like a movie, both of us envisioned ourselves as the victims in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The proprieter of the general store told us that the way we traveled was a short cut from San Diego to Palm Springs and that if we took the highway it would be a little over 2 hours but the mountainous route was 45 minutes. So we headed back the way we came, and went back into the storm and terrifying curves of the moutains. The drive was longer than 45 minutes, but perhaps because San Diego residents drive 100 at all times, it would be 45 minutes to them. If I had a picture you might be scared of the road we traveled. We were so close to the edge of the cliff, and looking down the rocky mountains, was the most frightening sensation I know.

On our way back to Palm Springs we drove through the arc of a rainbow. That was a awe inspiring experience. We were able to see where it began and ended and went underneath it. That must mean some sort of blessing on our lives.

Strangest thing about the route we took is that is was very well traveled, There was a constant stream of cars, speeding as if the rain and muddy roads didn't exist.

MY GUY

The fella and I are still together. We are still alive, he and I almost died, not from discovering that we were incompatible but from Nicole induced drama. But I won't get all mushy and detailed on my blog, but there really must be someone for everyone because he remains patient and rational throughout all the drama I bring, even when I have dramaed myself out.

A letter 2 Love...

Dear Love,

You are a tough nut to crack. I don't really understand you. It doesn't seem like anyone does. Lots of folks doubt you exist. Lots of folks search for you endlessly. Others are counting down the days until you disappear.

Sir Love, what is it about you that creates such strong emotion? Fear, happiness, joy, pain, you bring it all. Why do you have this effect on people? Is it because YOU are a four-letter word?

Everyone seems to want you. Some are jealous of you, some mistrust and some acknowledge their need for you. Love you've been very busy, everyone seems to have a story about you.

Love are you so powerful that you can really last forever and another day? That's what Stevie said. People make promises to take care of you, and keep you forever. Do some make that promise with the knowledge they won't keep it? do some really intend to keep it only to later realize you weren't there? Love do you really leave people? I can.not. believe that you would do that. I think if you come, you are permanent.

I am a firm believer in you Sir Love. I know there are those that pretend to be you, like Mr. Infatuation or even Desperation. They are dangerous and they know how to emulate you so well. I think they are the reasons people question your existence. They were fooled by the tions. Sir Love I think you are apparent and honest, and I think when you are there, you can't be denied.

Love are you aware that some folks use your name for power? It's awful but some use you to get sex, money, control.

I sigh because I respect you love, I was raised with you, taken care of because of you, had friends because of you, changed for the better by you, with the goal to always be better for you.

Love I think you are eternal, be you familial, romantic, friend or whatever, the memory of you extends past the life of those who possessed you.  I want you and I to last through forever and another day.